A hollow voice says, "Fool!"
Are you ready for this? This is a collection of responses to XYZZY in a multitude of IF games. Although XYZZY is usually just an optional magic word with a silly quip behind it, sometimes it does do something useful... which means there are some spoilers, but for the most part they're fairly minor. Especially since I'm not giving any context, apart from the games' names.
If the spoiler isn't minor, I've put the quote in white-on-white in a box, and the game's name in black-on-black. To reveal one area or both, select the area(s) with your mouse.
See also my PLUGH responses page, and Rick Adams's Everything you ever wanted to know about the magic word XYZZY page.
August 2009: I'm reworking this page in the hopes that I might be able to structure the list well enough that I might be able to port the list into a database for cute ordering tricks. The first step in this plan is to enclose every entry in its own box, moving the game title to the box's 'status line'. This might improve readability as well. I also want to start sorting the responses into categories, and moving the responses where XYZZY just isn't understood to its own NOTUNDERSTOOD page.
The PK Girl
^ . ^
\___/
Best of Three
– obligatory easter egg –
The Hose
* * * WARNING: * * *
Don't mess with the author of this game! Cf. http://www.acweb.com/ben/hungga/schools/brooklyn.html
Zero Sum Game
*** You have died ***
The Moonlit Tower
Silence of the Lambs 2
(It's said the 'x' is really a 'chi', so tt's pronounced 'cheesy'.)
[Insert humorous comment here]
Poor Zefron's Almanac
>>Foof!<<
You are inside a building, a well house for a large spring.
There are some keys on the ground here.
There is a shiny brass lamp nearby.
There is food here.
There is a bottle of water here.
You are able to take in your surroundings for a few seconds before a second >>Foof!<< deposits you back in Zefron's workshop. Apparently your feeble wizardly powers won't enable you to stay in that distant land for long.
Fallacy of Dawn
[A hollow voice says, 'K3WL!]
Kallisti
[dootsrednu ton saw "yzzyx" drow eht]
>yzzyx
[A hollow voice doesn't say: "Make my nipples hard, let's go." Nothing at all happens that could possibly break the fourth wall. What wall? I see no wall. I refuse to pander to this rampant injokery.]
Being Andrew Plotkin
[Hit any key.]
| As in the water face answers to face, So the mind of a man Reflects the man. -- Pr. 27:19 |
For old times sake.
[Hit any key.]
Inform School
[Just keep hitting Enter to go through this demonstration.]
A hollow voice booms, "The demonstration is given in the laboratory. You will be taken there if necessary. Anything you are carrying that gives off light will be covered during this session."
[Several screens of demonstration omitted]
Bugged
[Note to self: insert witty answer here.]
The Mage Wars: Statue
[Oh yeah? Well, plugh on you then!]
Bureaucracy; Trinity
[Sigh.]
Bad Machine
The Five Tutors
A cardboard cut-out of Graham Nelson appears and waves a cardboard arm. The cardboard cut-out then vanishes in a puff of Inform.
Pillow
A cloud of orange smoke engulfs the pillow and it disappears!
>xyzzy
Nothing happens. Maybe another magic word...
>plugh
An orange cloud suddenly appears in the room! It then dissipates, leaving the pillow behind on the pedestal.
>sit on pillow
You fidget with the pillow and move it onto a good spot on the floor. Then you squat on it, cross-legged.
>xyzzy
A cloud of orange smoke suddenly appears, blocking your vision! Then something gives way and you land with a BUMP.
Azteca
A deep voice booms out "Cretino."
Pollo Y Camino (a.k.a. Chicken and Road)
A disembodied voice informs you, "The solution isn't magic, but it's not rocket science, either."
The voice pauses, as if in thought, and queries, "S'matter? Are you chicken?"
Tookie's Song
A disembodied voice speaks. "This magic word is down for repairs, necessitated by its overuse. Please try another."
Death Waif
A finely-dressed man appears in a flash of blinding pink light. "You know, with an important Presidential election coming up in the United States very soon, I think it's time to talk to you about a very important subject: Spork safety.
The man vanishes.
Bears, Bears, Bears
A foolish voice says, "Hallo."
ASCII and the Argonauts
A HOLLOW VOICE SAYS, "FOOL!"
Diorama
A hollow cow says, "Moo."
VirtuaTech
A hollow voice announces that the XYZZY Forum on the Virtua WorldNet is closed right now. How typical.
The Man From DEFRA
A hollow voice bleats.
Rematch
A hollow voice booms, “Do you see your shadow?”
GATOR-ON, Friend to Wetlands; Undo
A hollow voice ignores you.
Coffee Quest II (post-comp version)
A hollow voice inside your head mocks your social skills.
The Legend Lives!
A hollow voice inside your head says, "Wrong genre."
Stiffy Makane: The Undiscovered Country
Spodgeville Murphy and The Jewelled Eye of Wossname
A hollow voice refuses to say "Fool".
Rameses
A hollow voice rings out - no wait, that's my stomach.
Guess The Verb!
Moments Out Of Time
A hollow voice says, "Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic. And vice-versa."
The Lesson of the Chicken
A hollow voice says, "Ba-cock!"
Toonesia
The Sea of Night
A hollow voice says, "Beam me up, Scotty."
Sins Against Mimesis
A hollow voice says, "Bite me."
Spiritwrak
A hollow voice says, "Cool!"
Zork: The Undiscovered Underground
A hollow voice says, "Cretin."
Perilous Magic
A hollow voice says 'Cretin'.
(Probably your boss)
Doomsday
A hollow voice says, "Did you really think I'd take the time to implement that?"
A Freak Accident Leaves Seattle Pantsless III: Endgame
A hollow voice says, "Do you try that in every game?"
Coma
A hollow voice says, 'Don't take me there.'
Sisychickenphus
A hollow voice says, "Eeaagghh!" (or was that, "Eegggggg!?")
Ophelia of Denmark
A hollow voice says 'Fool'!
Detective (MST3K1)
A hollow voice says "Fool"
Enchanter; Infidel; Zork I: The Great Underground Empire; Zork II: The Wizard of Frobozz; Zork III: The Dungeon Master
A hollow voice says "Fool."
Beyond Zork: The Coconut of Quendor; Wishbringer
A hollow voice says, "Fool!"
I–0
A hollow voice says "Fool. But you're cute, so that makes up for it."
I'll
A hollow voice says "Fool."
I look around to see where the voice came from, but I can see nothing. I look at the other people, but they do not seem to have heard anything unusual. I look at the floor, the ceiling; there is no sign of a source for this mysterious voice.
The hollow voice says "Look over here."
I look around again, but still see nothing.
The hollow voice says "On your nose."
I focus closer and see a tiny little humanoid figure perched on my nose. I'm surprised that such a big voice could from such a creature. As I think this, it looks annoyed at me, and from its pocket it pulls an impossibly large icepick-- proportional to my size, not its size--and jabs it into my eeeeeaarghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
*** I have lost ***
Plaque
A hollow voice says, "Fool"
(See, if you were dreaming, nothing would have happened.)
Mother Loose
A hollow voice says, "Fooled you!"
Foggywood Hijinx
A hollow voice says, "Hey, didn't I see you on the MUD last night?"
Varicella
A hollow voice says, "How unseemly!"
Very Old Dog
A hollow voice says "I've spent two days coding that flocking stereo system, and I'm not really too keen on coming up with a witty way to indulge in nostalgia."
Crusade
A hollow voice says, "Infidel."
Chicks Dig Jerks
A hollow voice says, "Myst drools, CHICKS DIG JERKS rules!"
Halothane
A hollow voice says, "Nice try, but no cigar!"
| If dirt were dollars, we'd all be in the black..... -- Don Henley. |
A Bear's Night Out
A hollow voice says `Obviously, you are in the wrong game.'
Watch me pull a rabbit out of my hat!
That trick never works.
-- Bullwinkle J. Moose
and Rocky Squirrel |
![[German]](../img/flag_de.gif "German"){kind=small}
Ein Bär Geht Aus
Eine hohle Stimme sagt: 'Du bist offenbar im falschen Spiel.'
Dutch Dapper IV: The Final Voyage
A hollow voice says: 'Oh please... this is getting SOOOOO old...'
Elements
A hollow voice says "Oh, shut up."
Pass the Banana
A hollow voice says, "Plugh."
>plugh
A hollow voice says, "Plover."
>plover
A hollow voice hands you a banana.
The one about the chicken, the lion and the monkey?
A hollow voice says:
"Q: Why did the mouse cross the road?
A: Because it was nailed to the chicken's foot!"
Hell: A Comedy of Errors
A hollow voice says "Seek not to rise above your station, little demon."
A Crimson Spring
A hollow voice says, 'So get out there, Robb, and win this comp. Win it for the children. Win it for Red Cloud. And win it ... for Demetrius DuBose.'
A Party To Murder
A hollow voice says, "Sorry, there aren't any magic words in this game."
Learning to Cross
A hollow voice says, "SQUAWK!"
There Is No Bread
A hollow voice says, "There is no bread."
Once and Future
A hollow voice says, "These are the times that try men's souls."
The Underoos that ate New York!
A hollow voice says, "This is a short sample 'game' designed to test out some programming ideas I had. It pays homage to the bad old sci-fi B movies. The material here is, I suppose, vaguely mystifying to small children, so parents be warned, play it through first yourself, and make your own decision about it."
Zork: A Troll's Eye View
A hollow voice says "Troll".
The Mind Electric
A hollow voice says, "Trying to get a cute response, are we?"
A Stegosaur's Night Out
A hollow voice says, "Very well. You don't know what you're asking for, but here you go....."
And, in fact, within minutes the whole Palace is abuzz, with the sounds of helicopters and tanks drawing nearer. Within half an hour, half the Viennese army is on the front lawn. Within an hour, every inhabitant of the palace - including Charles and yourself - is dead meat.
*** In your death you were not divided ***
The play is played out.
The Light: Shelby's Addendum
A hollow voice says, "Wow! You must be, like, really old."
Aunt Nancy's House
A hollow voice says "Wrong game, pal."
Cheeseshop
A hollow voice says "Xyzzy? Tinny, tinny sort of word."
Then a sixteen-ton weight drops on your head.
*** You have died ***
Ouch. How depressing.
Casino Viridoso V
A hollow voice says, "Zwanzig."
A Good Breakfast
A hollow voice sighs, exasperated.
Photograph
69,105 Keys
A hollow voice sings:
"I xyz zy spiders on the wall... I xyz zy cobwebs in the hall...
I xyz zy candles on the shelf... When I'm alone, I xyz myself!"
The Epitome of Toastlessness
A hollow voice utterly fails to provide you with TOAST. What a rip-off.
The Cruise
A hollow voice whispers, "I saw a 't' on top of a castle!"
A goat runs through the lounge. A llama chases after it. The glue is dripping down the side of the bottle.
I doubt that made any sense to you, since it's an inside joke. Well, when you type something out-of-context like xyzzy you should expect an out-of-context response. If you expected to be teleported, too bad for you. This isn't Zork.
Rippled Flesh
A hollow, yet nasal, voice booms out "Please Deposit 42 cents!"
Unease
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender looks up and says, "Hey. Why the long face?"
Six Stories
Episode 2: Revenge of the Mutant Spiders
A huge horde of mutant spiders appears out of nowhere and devours you alive!
*** You have died ***
Pick Up The Phone Booth and Aisle
A husky voice intones, "I knew you'd try typing this, and I must say I'm getting mighty tired of being summoned up willy nilly to fulfill some sort of neurotic desire to fill a game with as many lame injokes as possible. So begone. (By the way, please try the following verbs on subsequent playings: waylay, cook, xyzzy, attack)
*** You have pissed off the voice (that's a first) ***
The Devil Made Me Do It
A man runs passed you being chased by lions and a blonde-haired man. You think to yourself, "Isn't that my little protege Karl? How wonderful!!!"
The Lost Spellmaker
A mystical hand, seemingly made of thousands of tiny sparkling stars, sweeps down from above. Before you can do anything, it prods you in the ribs, and a hollow voice echoes "It's not you!" The hand flies off again, quickly disappearing from sight.
Underground Compound
a random number is [number].
Cattus Atrox
A small black cat struts by, rubs up against your legs, meows, then scampers off.
Krakatoa Tuna Melt
A squeaky voice says, "Why say xyzzy here, when you can visit http://webhome.idirect.com/~dswxyz/sol/xyzzy.html instead?"
[Of course, that page has moved to THIS page at http://www.plover.net/~davidw/sol/xyzzy.html.]
Eruption
A stern, hollow voice booms: "The use of magic is strictly reserved for the implementors."
>xyzzy
A hollow, but slightly exasperated voice says: "Look, I warned you. This is not a stable place. The likes of you should not meddle with things beyond their mortal understanding."
>xyzzy
A hollow voice (with - or is it your imagination? - overtones of Schadenfreude) intones: "Well, if you really won't listen to good advice... have it your way!" As this announcement dies down, mingling with the wyrd echos of your own magical incantations, you sense a disturbance in the very structure of time.
Suddenly, the entire island explodes! The volcano erupts in a spectacular show of fire, tumbling rocks, sprays of steam and boiling stone, and thundering sound effects to go with them. It really is a fantastic sight, a true natural wonder, enough to impress even the most jaded vulcanologist.
The good news about all this is that you are in the perfect position to witness all this - slap-bang in the middle of the action. The bad news is, of course, that being in that perfect position, you are no longer able to enjoy it all, since you've been blown to bits along with the rest of the Island.
*** You have been blown sky-high ***
Saied
A stubble-chinned street dealer drops by and shakes his head at your patheticness. "How do you sleep at night?" he asks before leaving.
d2d
A tap dancing velociraptor wearing a shiny green jacket appears before you, performs a short routine then vanishes. Or else nothing happens, if you prefer.
Tinseltown Blues
A wave of warm and fuzzy nostalgia washes over you as the word escapes your lips, but nothing much else occurs.
Exhibition
A woman in a smoky orange gown glides close by and whispers, "That sort of thing doesn't work here."
The Awakening
A word comes to you, and you shout it out... "XYXXY!". The storm responds with a roar and a crash of thunder. It is a word of power. Once, you feel, you knew many such words. Now, only this one remains.
Waystation
Actually having you magically teleport upon the utterance of that word would violate what little continuity exists in this game.
Critical Breach
Punkirita Quest One: Liquid
"Ah! My only child, trying to use black magic against the one who brought life!"
Fine-Tuned
All 69,105 leaves have said "yoho" and disappeared down a 2-inch slit -- along with some cheese, a bowl of sodden Cheerios, losers named Mercury and BVE sniveling under a bridge, and a bunch of other lame rec.arts.int-fiction in-jokes. [Let's stick to one adventure at a time, okay?] ;-)
A Night Guest
Glossary
All the other deities have USEFUL magic words, but you're stuck with this stupid one that DOESN'T EVEN DO ANYTHING!
Interface
Almost magically, you digest the ASCII characters XYZZY, break them into their binary counterparts, run them through several algorithms, and find that the only fruits of your analysis is the phrase: "Nothing Happens."
Revenge of the Killer Surf Nazi Robot Babes from Hell (Demo Version)
An awesome response to XYZZY is available with the full registered version of Revenge of the Killer Surf Nazi Robot Babes from Hell. Type REGISTER for additional information.
Rivkin
An editorial in the newspaper quoted a government official asserting that "Our unspeakably beautiful and cruel world is going to end." That's the line that got you so exercised before you found the book.
Shadowgate (Inform adaptation)
An Implementor suddenly materializes and speaks to you with a tone of boredom and annoyance.
"Fool!"
The Implementor vanishes.
Masters of Toasting
Ancient words of power may cut it in some other profession, but not in the exciting world of toaster repair!
Winchester's Nightmare
Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.
Ralph (from IF Comp 1996)
Are you Eileen Mullin or anybody else connected to XYZZYnews magazine?
The President, the Democrats, and Smelly Pete
As George W. Bush's life fades his soul rises for a moment and then suddenly hovers. Above the mantel is an old sword rewarded to GW from the Great Persian Gulf War II and it begins to eminate a powerful light. George's soul strives to escape all earthly boundaries, but the sword is too strong. His soul drifts to the sword and is absorbed, becoming a part of its very nature. A flash of blue trickles down the blade in harsh laughter before the image fades...
Ralph (from SpeedIF 15)
As the magic words leave your lips, everything becomes clear. You are just a pawn in an interactive fiction game. There is no way out except to find the answer to the problem placed before you. Good luck.
Why does my New Year's Eve always crash and burn?
As you say the magic word, a shimmering steel pole appears in front of you out of nowhere. At its top is the head of Dick Clark. Revelers kneel in praise, then start counting down from ten as the head descends down the pole. When the count gets to three, the pole and head vanish in a puff of smoke.
Escape from a Planet Filled with Monkeys!
As you say “xyzzy”, you feel warm and fuzzy, almost as if your cosmic score has increased by several karma points. But nothing else happens.
[Note: this was in response to choosing a menu option called 'Say “xyzzy”', not actually typing "xyzzy".]
A Fable (MST3K2)
As you speak the magic word "xyzzy", there is a blinding flash, and the Satellite of Love's theater disappears around you. You notice that you are now carrying a multi-purpose Scrub Brush.
Deck Nine
This is a featureless corridor similar to every other corridor on the ship. It
curves away to starboard, and a gangway leads up. To port is the entrance to one
of the ship's primary escape pods. The pod bulkhead is closed.
You have beamed yourself into Planetfall, and escaped from the Satellite of Love. Unfortunately, you did so before Mike Nelson arrived to take your place. With no man in space to experiment on, Dr. Forrester ekes out the rest of his career playing B-movie heavies, TV's Frank returns to his job at Arby's, and Mystery Science Theater is cancelled.
TOM: Good one, Joel!
CROW: Hey Joel, wanna play Hucka-Bucka Beanstalk?
*** [Roll credits] ***
Lighan ses Lion
Askiosy rau loovao LIGHAN SES LION!
[Dress sle nire ve-station]
Down and Out at the Big Creepy House on the Poison Lake
At End of Road
I am standing at the end of a road before a small brick building. Around is a forest. A small stream flows out of the building and down a gully.
...Snap out of it, self! This is no time to be daydreaming!
Banana Apocalypse and the Rocket Pants of Destiny
BEARS BEARS BEARS. [Your easter egg could go here! Call now at 555-1212 to order...]
Unnkulia One Half: The Salesman Triumphant
Being a feet-on-the-ground salesman, you don't believe in silly magical words.
Kiss Chase
Bleah.
Desert Heat
BLEEP! (ping) zZaP *glorgle*
The spell you have selected is out of service. Please try another game.
The Hippo and the Flute
Brank. Bronk. Blurk.
-- Gorpy Bizzerton
Sam Fortune - Private Investigator
The Coast House
Can you say that here? I thought that was copyrighted or something...?
Chaos
Chaos snores.
The Cross of Fire
Cheesy? Not at all. More like "archetypal".
Begegnung am Fluss
Das funktioniert nicht, wahrscheinlich, weil du alles andere als ein namenloser Abenteurer bist.
Stick it to the man
Do what?
The Bryant Collection
[Answering YES to the question will teleport the PC to the Living Room location.]
The House
Does the circle...twinkle a little?...No.
Ramón and Jonathan
East of House
You are in an open field east of a big yellow house with a boarded front door.
There is a small mailbox here.
...Well, not really. This was a crime-against-mimesis moment in an otherwise serious and well-thought piece of Interactive Fiction.
And you were the one who began, with that 'xyzzy' thing.
Castle Amnos
Eerie silence greets your words.
Zombie!
Even that magic cannot help you here.
Byzantine Perspective
Everything dissolves into static...
[You now appear to be in The Chalice Room.]
Flamel
Everything spins around and suddenly you find yourself...
Maze
You are in a maze of twisty passages, all alike.
The only maze of this game.
>xyzzy
Everything spins around and suddenly you find yourself...
[back in your original location]
Escape From the SS Borgarís
Far in the distance, a hollow foghorn sounds.
Speed
fizzle.
Health Inspector
Foo.
Curses; Deja Vu
For a moment you can almost hear a hoarse voice say something to you. But it passes.
Escape from Crulistan
For a moment you thought you heard a hollow voice after speaking the word, but it was probably just your inner voice asking why a grown-up man in the year 2000 still believes in magic.
The Thorn
For some reason you remember the computer games you played as a kid. What if that's all this is? A game? What if that's all anything is?
Not Just A Game
From The New Hacker's Dictionary:
xyzzy /X-Y-Z-Z-Y/, /X-Y-ziz'ee/, /ziz'ee/, or /ik-ziz'ee/ adj.
[from the ADVENT game] The canonical 'magic word'. This comes from ADVENT, in which the idea is to explore an underground cave with many rooms and to collect the treasures you find there. If you type 'xyzzy' at the appropriate time, you can move instantly between two otherwise distant points.
Xyzzy has actually been implemented as an undocumented no-op command on several OSes; in Data General's AOS/VS, for example, it would typically respond "Nothing happens," just as ADVENT did if the magic was invoked at the wrong spot or before a player had performed the action that enabled the word. In more recent 32-bit versions, by the way, AOS/VS responds "Twice as much happens."
Film At Eleven
From out of nowhere, your boss, Harry Jenkins runs up to you. He grabs you by the upper arms and shakes you roughly, shouting, "Do your own damn work!" He runs off again.
Apartment F209
Gee, grandpa. What was it like back then?
Tanker and Webb
Gerzundheit!
Arthur: The Quest for Excalibur
Gesundheit.
A Flustered Duck
Gesundheit!
Earth and Sky; Not Just an Ordinary Ballerina
Gesundheit!
Zumpf and Fumping
"Give a man a turkey sandwich, and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to turkey sandwich, and he will eat for a lifetime." -- Art Bell
2112
Goddess bless you.
Maiden of the Moonlight
"Good 'zine, isn't it?" comments a hollow voice that seems to come from out of nowhere.
(Actually, it comes from http://www.interport.net/~eileen...)
Glacial Rift of the Dick Cavett
Graham Nelson surfs in on a miniature surfboard, then surfs back out.
Memories
Helen once ran into real trouble for publishing an article with that word in it. The letters pages were swamped with complaints.
Blue Lacuna
Here are some of the albums that were on constant play during my writing of Blue Lacuna, along with, in some cases, which sequence they helped shape. These albums can perhaps be thought of as the unofficial soundtrack:
Gyorgi Ligeti, Requiem
Lisa Gerrard, The Silver Tree -- the Windsigh
Ryan Miller, Tim Larkin and Jack Wall, soundtracks to the Myst games -- exploring
Michael Stearns, The Lost World -- the eastern forest
Colleen, The Golden Morning Breaks -- Phoebe and Lethe
amiina, Animamina and Kurr -- Phoebe and Lethe
Kenji Kawai, Ghost In The Shell Soundtrack -- The Great Philosopher
Robert Rich, Gaudi / Below Zero -- The Heart of the Forest
Jakob Draminsky Højmark, En Landsoldats Dagbog -- Progue's Despair
Jocelyn Pook, various -- painting
Jeremy Soule, Game Soundtracks
Michael Andrews, Donnie Darko Original Score -- Progue's Playfulness
Aphex Twin, Melodies From Mars -- Progue
Eluvium, various albums -- the dreams
And other albums which are not tied to particular moments but which nevertheless received heavy play during the writing:
Geinoh Yamashirogumi, Akira Soundtrack / Ecophony Gaia
Brian Tyler, Children of Dune
Matt Uelmen, Diablo II Soundtrack
Leon Willet, Dreamfall Soundtrack
Philip Glass, Koyaanisquatsi
Paul Ruskay, Homeworld Soundtrack
Juno Reactor, Labyrinth
Sigur Rós, various albums
Lemon Demon
Vangelis, various albums
Clint Mansell, The Fountain
and the entire Jonathan Coulton catalog.
Snowman Sextet Part II
Here's a tidbit for you: Fido is actually what some call an Old English Mastiff, or just English Mastiff. The AKC calls the breed Mastiff, even though that is also the name of a family of breeds.
At Wit's End; At Wit's End Again
Hold on while your PC sends you a Gamma burst of mind altering energy...
(I hope you closed your eyes.)
As soon as the ringing in your ear stops, press ENTER.
OK, thank you in advance for giving this game a 10.
Delvyn
http://mm.dfilm.com/mm2s/mm_route.php?id=1243287
Adventures of Helpfulman
http://www.xyzzynews.com
Attack of the Terror Tabby!!!
i CaN HaS BOMB!
The U.S. Men's Hockey Team Olympic Challenge!
I don't know the word "xyzzy". Now get back to trashing this dump!
Stiffy Makane: Mystery Science Theatre 3000
I don't understand 'xyzzy' as a verb.
HOLLOW VOICE: Fool.
The Beetmonger's Journal
I had never been one to believe in magic.
Above and Beyond!
I know... I know... You had to try it. Personally, I don't blame ya!
nuntalyli'u
.i noda fasnu
Acheton
I'm afraid that magic word hasn't got enough power to work in this universe.
Prodly the Puffin
I'm not familiar with that particular cliche.
"It's not much fun wandering through somebody's
ill-conceived, cobbled together, inside-joke
universe."
-Paul O'Brian |
Heroine's Mantle
If Charlotte Anne can't use real magic, what chance have you got?
Friendly Foe
If it were only that easy.
The Homework of Little Carl Gauss
If you wanted a Scott Adams adventure, you could choose some other game...
Tryst of Fate
Images of knife-throwing dwarves come to mind.
An Act of Murder
Impossibly, the fiddler-shaped weather vane up on the top of the house twists around and begins to actually scratch out a pleasant, simple tune on its little fiddle. As you stare up at it in astonishment, you completely fail to notice the hordes of stampeding Cossacks which trample you to death as they roar off on their way to yet another pogrom.
*** You have died ***
Tick tock tick tock tick ... and then the grandfather clock suddenly stops short, never to go again ... and so does your heart.
*** You have died ***
There is an odd whirring sound from the Faberge egg clock, and then the haunting tones of a violin sonata begins to pour forth from it. It's quite enchanting. So when the easter egg suddenly transforms into a mechanical hawk and proceeds to claw your eyes out, you are, to put it bluntly, taken somewhat unawares.
*** You have died ***
"Oh, I say," says the portrait of Lord Dundreary suddenly.
You look up at it in astonishment, but the good Lord Dundreary (outlandish whiskers and all) seems quite unfazed. "Let me ask you a widdle -- why does a duck go under water? for divers reasons. Now I'll give you another -- why does a duck come out of the water? for sundry reasons. No! No! see, you live on suction, you're like that bird with a long bill, they call doctor, no, that's not it, I thought it was a doctor, because it has a long bill--I mean a snipe--yes, you're a lovely snipe...."
And at some point during all this, John Wilkes Booth sneaks up behind you and shoots you in the head.
*** You have died ***
Elinor Lamb gives you a very strange look as you intone the Magick Word, and unobtrusively wheels herself out of the room.
Nothing happens for a few minutes, and then you hear a weak "feed ... me ... Seymour...." coming from the direction of the potted plants. A quick investigation reveals a particularly large flytrap of some sort, which promptly swallows you whole.
*** You have died ***
Firebird
In a hollow voice, you mispronounce the only word in Czech you can remember.
The X Chicken
In the distance you see a car approaching. The car slows down as it passes. It's a black Lincoln Towne car with darkly tinted windows. As it passes nearby, you could swear you see through the glass a small chimp wearing a tuxedo and laughing at all of your hysterically. The license plate reads, "MNKYBTLR".
Artifiction
The Water Bird
In the time of the First People, even that ancient magic did not exist yet.
The Last Sonnet of Marie Antoinette
Inside Joke Mode is Now On.
>xyzzy
You instantly forget you ever knew anything about inside jokes.
Aunts and Butlers
Is that some sort of telegraphic cypher?
Delusions
It has been said that anything can happen in VR, but in this case "anything" turns out to be nothing at all.
Ghost Ship
Pytho's Mask
It will take more than petty incantations to save the day.
Coming Out of the Closet
It's not that easy to get out.
"Hey! Where did you learn that?"
Star Rider
Ja, ja, das stand alles in "Das Denken in der fünften Dimension". Konzentriere dich jetzt auf das Spiel!
Dragon!
Jarb shrieks, apparently to himself, "Fool!"
Jarod's Journey
Jarod stutters out something indiscernible.
In The End
JOIN THE SOCIETY FOR THE PREVENTION OF CRUELTY TO CLICHES
Every year, hundreds if not thousands of good ideas are brought to an early
death by overuse and overexposure. You can help to stop the senseless waste of
space, simply by avoiding the use of clichés. Join the campaign now, and help
these decent and formerly original ideas to live out their last years with
dignity.
For more information about the S.P.C.C., write to:
ADVENTURER
RR #29
Eastlands, Zork 4127
or e-mail:
adventurer@whitehouse.gov |
Constraints (from IF Comp 2002)
In The End II
Life doesn't work that way. Nyah, nyah, nyah.
Enemies
Magic doesn't work in the real world.
Carma
Magic won't help here – only a very big ink eraser.
Max Blaster and Doris de Lightning Against the Parrot Creatures of Venus
Max Blaster's voice booms out of nowhere. “Hey, Doris, it's time for the special secret message for the Max-and-Doris Patrol Club Members! What's the secret letter for today?”
Doris de Lightning's voice responds, “Ready, Junior Cadets? The secret letter for today is X, as in Xavian — so line up your secret decoder rings with A on the outside and X on the inside, and get ready for the message!”
Ihuulrtik Fxlhbd Zdmy Eueyuh! Qu obfu vbm utcbv lork obdb-kremdxlrbt bn lou nrhkl Exs Ydxkluh xtj Jbhrk ju Drioltrti xjputlmhu. Lou kfuzrxd ybtmk nbh lork puhkrbt bn lou kre rk xpxrdxydu prx “YBTMKREXIU”; rt lou usfxtjuj puhkrbt lb yu huduxkuj dxluh, “YBTMKKZUTU” qrdd xdkb yu xpxrdxydu. Rn, nbh kbeu huxkbt, vbm xhu erkkrti vbmh Fxlhbd Zdmy Eueyuh arl, julxrdk nbh fmhzoxkrti xtblouh zbfv qrdd yu xpxrdxydu kbbt xl ollf://qqq.nuudruk.bhi/ Loxta vbm nbh fdxvrti!
translation below:
Greetings Patrol Club Member! We hope you enjoy this holo-simulation of the first Max Blaster and Doris de Lightning adventure. The special bonus for this version of the sim is available via “BONUSIMAGE”; in the expanded version to be released later, “BONUSSCENE” will also be available. If, for some reason, you are missing your Patrol Club Member kit, details for purchasing another copy will be available soon at http://www.feelies.org/ Thank you for playing!
Aisle
Maybe years ago when things were more about fun and were less real. You've come too far to go back.
Camping!
Michael: NYAH NYAH! :-)
Thanks to Iain, inky and tufty.
Research Dig
Mists pour from the ground below you. They begin to spiral around your legs. In the distance you can make out shadowy figures coming towards you through the mist. You then hear a deep, booming voice say "Oh sorry, wrong game." The mists vanish, and everything is back to normal.
The Duel that Spanned the Ages
More like IDKFA.
>idkfa
*** You have died ***
Calliope
My prime goal in writing Calliope was to get comfortable with the Inform programming language, and I believe I succeeded that much. Originally, I meant to accomplish this merely by painting a (somewhat self-deprecatory) autobiographical portrait of myself hacking confusedly away at a going-nowhere Inform program, making a silly little diorama which, once complete, I might have shown a couple of friends before setting it aside and probably forgetting about it, but enough ideas for expanding this into a dippy little quote-unquote 'interactive' tribute to text adventure programming in general fell into my head to move me to expand this bloated exercise from pastiche to short story. I then submitted the whole mess to the 1999 IF Comp, partly to make good on my never- canceled entrance request from the beginning of this year (When I had a vague idea about a game I wanted to make, which I then let lie fallow for some months, poked at a little, and then abandoned), but mostly for the same reason most people probably have when they enter the Boston Marathon. It's a fun lark!
While I can't expect this little trifle to score very well in the competition, I hope that you get a smile or two from it anyway. I had enough fun writing it, learning as I went, to want to dig immediately into making a 'real' text adventure game, so, as far as I'm concerned, it's a smashing success.
Special thanks to betatesters Leah Bonistalli, Jordan 'Greywolf' Peacock, Jeff Pitrman, and Andy Turner.
You may send comments and criticism to me at [eaddress omitted].
--Jason McIntosh
A Paper Moon
Nice try. If you type that 9999 more times, I *might* put you in god mode.
>xyzzy
Nice try. If you type that 9998 more times, I *might* put you in god mode.
>xyzzy
Nice try. If you type that 9997 more times, I *might* put you in god mode.
[...Quite a few xyzzyies later...]
Nice try. If you type that 2 more times, I *might* put you in god mode.
>xyzzy
Nice try. If you type that 1 more times, I *might* put you in god mode.
>xyzzy
Nice try. If you type that 0 more times, I *might* put you in god mode.
>xyzzy
Nope... apparently I was just kidding.
The HeBGB Horror!
No human hand can play the chord progression for CTHULLU ROCKS!
The Suffering Supplicant
NO KANGEROOS COULD KICK THERE ASS
-- Danny "Dman" Hale
The Incredible Shrinking Woman, Too!
No magic can help you now.
Skipping Breakfast
Nope. Doesn't help.
First Wave, Then Jump Up and Down Screaming
Nostradamus appears in a puff of rules. "Yeah. I'm in the game. So there."
Of Forms Unknown
Not here.
Enlightenment
Not surprisingly, nothing happens. You mustn't have visited the right place.
Yon Astounding Castle! of some sort
Nothing happeneth.
A Boy and his Goat; Accuse; Agency; Artifiction; Centipede; Christminster; Colours; First Things First; Journey from an Islet; Shangri La; SpeedIF 11, part six; The Tale of the Kissing Bandit; The Travels of Fitzwilliam Pound; Wormwood Days II: The Aftermath
Nothing happens.
Grayscale; The Erudition Chamber
Nothing Happens.
Snowquest
Nothing happens at all; perhaps you've lost your magic touch.
>xyzzy
Nothing happens again; you evidently haven't regained your magic touch.
>xyzzy
Nothing happens yet again; I'd guess you never had a magic touch.
The Family Legacy
Nothing happens. But you do feel like you have satisfied an irresistible urge.
CC
Nothing happens, but you probably knew that already.
The Chasing
Nothing happens here.
Vacation Gone Awry
Nothing happens. Maybe in another time, another game...
Reality Show
Nothing happens. Must've used the wrong magic word -- although you get a vaguely uncomfortable feeling at having tried to use magic words at all.
>plugh
Nothing happens. Must've used the wrong magic word.
You get a bad, bad feeling about using magic words in this world -- as if they are leading you toward thoughts almost too difficult to complate.
>plover
Your surroundings vanish for a moment. Have the shackles of a constricting
consciousness fallen away?
If so, then they have been replaced by a different sort of shackles. You are tied up to a bed, wearing only a leather corset. Standing above you, a similarly-dressed octogenarian woman gazes down upon you with a beatific yet disturbing smile. "Now, my pupil, it's time for us to study the intricacies of the Rudolphus Technique." You struggle to break free ... to break free ... to break free ...
Moments later, you are back in the Gateway. You are left to wonder: Was that real?
At The Bottom Of The Garden
Nothing happens. No witty responses, nothing.
Spy in the Show
Nothing happens. (Stupid enemy parser.)
Shadows On The Mirror
Nothing happens.
Wait...
Yes, there it is.
“Great, Enra. It took you this long to figure out how to hook us in? Come on, let's get out of this game.” Galen disappears with a faint crackle of static.
You look around. “Yeah.”
***Here we come***
Erehwon
Nothing happens. You could always try >PLUGH.
>plugh
Nothing happens. You could always try >ABRACADABRA.
>abracadabra
Nothing happens. You could always try >ZOT.
>zot
Nothing happens. You could always try >WAZZUM.
>wazzum
Nothing happens. You could always try >XYZZY.
Baluthar
Nothing happens. You hear the hollow voice of Baluthar laughing in your head.
Scavenger
Nothing happens.
You weren't really expecting anything, were you? It just doesn't fit in with the genre.
Oh come on, don't tell me you're disappointed. I know, I know, you were expecting some hilarious little blip, or the Spanish Inquisition, or something. Well, no, not the Spanish Inquisition, because no one ever expects them. But I'm sitting here as I write this, watching television and stuffing barbeque potato chips into my mouth, and absolutely nothing humorous is coming to mind. So... hey, maybe next time. Okay?
>xyzzy
Nothing happens... again.
>xyzzy
Again... nothing happens.
>xyzzy
Still nothing happens.
>xyzzy
Stop doing that.
>xyzzy
Please stop doing that.
>xyzzy
Okay, fine. I'm disabling the command now.
>xyzzy
I don't know the word "xyzzy".
>xyzzy
I really don't know the word "xyzzy".
>xyzzy
Well, that didn't work. Look, here's 5 dollars. Just... take it and
promise to stop typing that. Nothing is going to happen!
[The game isn't lying about the 5 dollars; check your inventory.]
>xyzzy
Oh, I see. Okay, fine. If that's the way you want to be.... In a total
of 10 turns, you have achieved a score of 0 points out of a possible 70,
giving you a rank of Hobo.
You may restore a saved game, start over, quit, itemize your points, or undo the current command. Please enter RESTORE, RESTART, QUIT, FULL, or UNDO: >
Private Cyborg
Nothing like knowing how to curse in Bug-speak!
Amusement Park
Nothing obvious happens.
Four In One
Nothing seems to happen.
A Simple Theft
Oh, stop that.
>xyzzy
No, really, stop it.
>xyzzy
That sort of magic hasn't been figured out yet.
>xyzzy
Don't get me angry. You won't like me when I'm angry.
>xyzzy
OK, perhaps you WILL like me when I'm angry.
>xyzzy
Oh, bother. I haven't been programmed to get angry.
>xyzzy
You're just going to keep trying until I run out of responses, aren't you?
>xyzzy
OK, this is my last response. Ta-ta.
>xyzzy
Really, that was. Honest. No more interesting responses here. Move along, move along.
>xyzzy
Whenever you're ready to get on with the game...
>xyzzy
Sigh.
Four Mile Island
Okay, you asked for it...
?
You are in a 3D maze of twisty little passageways, all alike.
Exits lead in all directions.
?
Just kidding...
Infil-Traitor
Okay, you asked for it...
?
You are in a maze of twisty little passageways, all alike.
Exits lead in all directions.
?
Just kidding...
Chico and I Ran
Once in your life this verb helps
Some word that turns your game around and
Next thing you know you've obtained the egg mcguffin
Wake up and it's still with you
Even though you left it 'way cross town
Wondering to yourself, "Hey, what've I done"
When you get caught between a quit and a verb called xyzzy
I know it's crazy, but it's true
If you get caught between a quit and a verb called xyzzy
Best that you can do, best that you can do--invisiclues
Arthur he does as he pleases
All of his life he plays text adventures
Deep in his heart, he's just, he's just a boy
Living his life through many undo's
Fooling himself that he didn't just lose
Laughing about the way they want him to play
When you get caught between a quit and a verb called xyzzy
I know it's crazy, but it's true
If you get caught between a quit and a verb called xyzzy
Best that you can do, best that you can do--invisiclues
-- Christopher "Star" Cross
Jeenin Tonn-nx
Oolon Colluphid appears from behind a pillar, waves at you, and vanishes again.
Downtown Tokyo Present Day
Our hero's grasp of the Japanese language is obviously poor!
onion2
Out of nowhere, a huge cloud of orange smoke fills the car. When it clears, you suddenly realize that you're in the shack!
>look
shack
Betcha didn't think i'd have time to implement xyzzy, did you?
>xyzzy
You suddenly feel very disoriented, and the room seems to be spinning all around you. As you gradually regain your balance, you realize that you're now in the car!
Twilight in the Garden of Exile
Pardon?
A Bet's a Bet
*Poof*
An authentic copy of Zork I for the PC magically appears.
>x zork
A classic.
>xyzzy
Nothing else happens.
The Plant
Poof! In a cloud of orange smoke, you're magically transported to...
[your current room description]
(Okay, it wasn't that magical.)
Beta Tester
*POOF* Someone who looks a LOT like Lord Dimwit Flathead, ruler of Quendor, The Great Underground Empire, appears in the room with a silly grin on his face.
Pause.
He extends his arm towards you, taps you on your nose and says "Old School!"
Pause.
*POOF* He's gone.
Pause.
The folks in Legal would again like to re-iterate that the person that appeared and touched you on the nose was NOT Lord Dimwit Flathead, ruler of Quendor.
Pause.
So know now, for a fact, that Lord Dimwit Flathead, ruler of Quendor, has NOT made an appearance in this game.
YAGWAD
Real adventurers do not use such language.
Fate
Real magic requires sacrifice and study.
Risorgimento Represso
Remembering your old days of playing Adventure in the computer lab, you cry out "Xyzzy!" in a loud voice but nothing happens.
* Translation of Ned's Yorkshire, courtesy of the game's author, Michael Coyne: "Good for nothing, that is," says Ned. "If that worked, I'd have been and gone a long while since."
Lost New York
Sadly, recent city budget cuts have led to the elimination of the Department of Magic.
No Room
See, technically you're in a location (Darkness), but your real_location isn't a room. Instead, it's the Inform Library itself, which is the most sense Inform could make of my game. In fact, I didn't create any rooms when I was programming this. (Granted, with Inform it's a bit tricky to say what is a room and what isn't.) It would probably have been simpler to just make a fake room to put the player in, and achieve the same effect, but that's not perverse enough. I felt I had to try to go beyond the familiar one room games, and this is as close to zero rooms as I was able to get.
Katana
Sigh... I know it's convention to have some inane cute response to magic words from classic adventure games, but ya know what? Screw it. It's been done.
Coke Is It!
Six Million a Day.
Triune
.sneppah gnihtoNNothing happens.
Human Resources Stories
So, tell us, how do you work? No, really. If your manager gives you an assignment, how would you do it?
Hmmm... I can see why you are interested in the answer to that question. First of all, this is all conjecture. I mean, I don't know how your managers would behave, so I can only tell you about my experience, not what will happen with this company. Is that alright?
Sure. Do tell us your experience.
Okay, Well, my manager would give me an assignment and ask how long it will take for me to finish the assignment. I'd say that it's impossible to know before hand how long it will take. It'll be finished when it's finished. I mean, unless the work has been done before, it's impossible to predict with any reasonable accuracy when it would be done.
Of course, that kind of answer is unacceptable. My manager would insist that a deadline be given. No problem, I estimate three days for programming, three days for debugging, and three days for testing/optimization. I double the number for incidentals, such as meetings, unforeseen difficulties, and other emergency projects. The number of days is 9*2=18 days. With 5 days a week work schedule, I estimate 3-4 weeks Estimated Time of Completion (ETC). My manager says: Three weeks.
That'll be end of August. Sure. I'll mark my calendar on August the 31st. Three days into the project, my manager comes by and asks me how the project is going. Of course, this is the same question that has been asked and answered at the daily meeting, but since my manager's manager just called personally to check on it, he figures HE would come and personally check the progress. I show him the code and the schedule of things to do. It would be half done. Of course, it is all very rough, complicated, and buggy code, but half the functionalities would be there. At this, he'd walk away.
Later that night, as he drifted to sleep, he'd wonder why I would ask for three weeks (I ESTIMATED 3-4 weeks) for a project when I'm half done in three days time. The next day, he comes in and tells me that the date has been moved forward one week. Don't worry, though. He's sure I'll manage. At this moment, alarm bells start ringing. Not loud enough, though, to make me stand my ground. 2 weeks ETC? Sure.
Before I start debugging the code, I like to clean up the code. You know, simplify it. Make it idiot proof, so maintenance programmers will have an easier time doing their work. Making the code clean and simple has an added benefit of making it easy to debug and expand when necessary. Late Friday afternoon, just before my manager goes on a weekend getaway in Hawaii, he stops by. I show him the cleaned-up code. Big mistake! As he looks over the code, he has no trouble reading it. Well, if he, a manager, can understand the code easily, he's sure that as a programmer, I'll be able to do it in my sleep. Never mind that big pile of messy code sitting in the cubicle's corner. He wants the project to be completed by Monday! Or else.
But, boss, it's Friday! These things take time! My attempts to explain the complexities of the project are futile. It'll be Monday MORNING and that's that. Then he goes off to his vacation in Hawaii. At this moment, the alarm bells are ringing left and right. I'd need at least two days to debug, and two more days for testing. What should I do? What can I do? I decide to just skip the testing, since if the debugging process is successful, there would be no need for testing, right?
Working madly over the weekend hasn't been good. I keep making stupid errors that I wouldn't make had I had a more leisurely schedule to work with. I guess I need more than a couple of hours of sleep at the terminal. Monday morning, I drop off the finished project on the manager's desk. He's late. Doubtless still suffering from brain melt on his vacation. I stagger home to catch up three days worth of sleep, hoping that it'll be alright.
Tuesday, my manager chews me out because I didn't report on Monday, That's AWOL and I'll get a pay cut for it. But!? Boss, I worked the whole weekend. Just ask the janitors! Well, the manager didn't authorize it, so there's no pay, overtime or otherwise. He'll try to get me credited for Monday, but since the paperwork has already been turned in, there's little chance of success (unless he wants to look like a fool, which, of course, he doesn't).
Wednesday, my manager brags to his boss about how clever a manager he is for being able to make an absentee programmer like me to be extremely productive. Specifically, he's able to push me do a three week project in just a little over a week. Think of the money the company is saving! His boss agrees and gives him a bonus. That, and a little mention in the company newsletter about how great a manager my manager is. Meanwhile, I'm still waiting to be credited for my overtime pay.
Of course, the untested program is full of bugs. As more and more people use it, the subtle (but nasty) bugs are showing. Segmentation faults and core dumps do not make the users happy, and complain they do! Rude, nasty letters start filling up the Inbox. My manager's manager calls in to ask about the problem. My manager adroits says: "Me? But I'm just a manager. What do _I_ know about programming? It's not _my_ fault that the program is buggy. It's _my programmer's_ fault!"
Of course, I get all the flak. I end up working nights and weekends patching the code for free. I'll be lucky to save my skin after all the troubles _I_ have caused. As I wearily deliver the cleaned, debugged, tested, and optimized code to his desk, my manager tells me that as a leading hi-tech company that we are, we should create this and that program. There's no budget for it, of course, and no overtime pay, either. But there'll be opportunity for recognition if I can pull it off. He then outlines the most ambitious, complicated, and incredibly large system, that, for all practical purposes, is useless AND will annoy anybody who is foolish enough to use it. My manager smiles, "I want you to do this for me. So, how long will it take you to finish this project?"
(Sigh)
The Land of the Cyclops
"Socrates" - Great philosopher who didn't write a line, but allowed hemlock to win fame.
(Angelo Frattini)
Catch That Haggis
Something appears in your inventory in a puff of orange smoke.
>x t-shirt
It's a cheap cotton t-shirt. The slogan reads, "I used the magic
word XYZZY and all I got was this stupid t-shirt."
>xyzzy
The t-shirt shimmers in a magical kind of way.
>wear t-shirt
It looks like it was designed for someone with less
tentacles. What kind of idiot implemented this easter egg anyway?
>drop t-shirt
The t-shirt bursts into flames and is destroyed.
Blue Head Yurt
Something is happening here ... whoa.
>look
time room
Time! Time! I need more time .... we all need more time .... to quote the band Ivy: 'To know we die / makes love a lie' .... here's hoping the time isn't wasted ....
>xyzzy
Something is happening again ... whoa!
Dinosaur Love
Something is happening here ... whoa. You're in the nullroom, where all the topics hide! Better do xyzzy again soon.
>look
Nullroom
It looks like an ordinary Nullroom to me.
>xyzzy
Something is happening again ... whoa!
The End Means Escape
Somewhere else, "xyzzy" might make sense, but not here, not now.
4 Seconds
Somewhere nearby you hear a metallic scrape accompanied by a faint ringing in your ears.
No Time To Squeal
Sorcery in that manner seems to fail you.
Janitor
Stealing from other games is so gauche.
A New Day
Stop living in the past, man!
Virus
Such an action would undoubtedly compromise your hunting position.
Reality's End
Suddenly, a bright light appears in front of you. It is like space itself is cut
open. The light forms a door-shaped rectangle, like a portal into nothingness.
Then a silhouette appears. A man steps out of the light.
He says: "Sorry kid, the Hollow Voice is out at the moment. So no funny or
insulting remarks this time. Here. Take a flyer."
He hands you a small leaflet.
From within the light, a female voice says:
"Come on, Dutch, we've got more things to do..."
The man briefly looks over his shoulder. Then he turns to you and says:
"Keep up the good work, kid. I'm sure you'll do just fine..."
He steps back into the light, which disappears behind him, closing like a zipper.
>x leaflet
From the same author:
*** DUTCH DAPPER IV: THE FINAL VOYAGE ***
Available in an IF archive near you.
>xyzzy
The bright light appears again, but no-one steps out. You just hear a not so
hollow voice say:
"Come on, kid, stop bothering me. I've got more important things to do then play with you."
The bright light disappears, closing like a zipper.
The Curse of Eldor; The Unholy Grail
Suddenly a magical white glove appears floating in the air before you, slaps you several times across the face, then disappears.
The Tarot Reading
Suddenly a man falls from the air. As he picks himself up you see he is in his early thirties, covered in cat hair and looks as if he works out a fair bit.
"Ah yes," he says, "I remember this. Ahem..." and he begins what seems to be a prepared spiel:
=====================================================================
The Tarot Reading - A piece of IF art by Michael Penman, written for the 2003 IF Art Show (http://members.aol.com/iffyart/)
Copyright (c) 2003 by Michael AM Penman. All rights reserved.
Developed with TADS: The Text Adventure Development System
Of course there's a view that good art shouldn't require explanation. Unfortunately, I doubt this is 'good' art; it's just the best that I can achieve at the moment. That's why I've decided to offer this word of explanation.
In the IF art show the stress is placed on exploring interactivity rather than fiction; the I rather than the F of IF. This got me thinking: where does that interactivity take place, really? Certainly not in the IF environment, which is after all no more than a static construct. So why did I feel so thoroughly transported after playing _All Roads_ for the first time? So moved after completing _LASH_?
My answer is that the IF construct plays us. It alters our mind for a time, sometimes permanently. For me this is true of all fiction. I couldn't think of a better metaphor for this than the use of the tarot archetypes to allow the player to explore their mind.
Some words of thanks, then I'll go. I'm not very good at spelling and even worse at coding. The following beta testers from LiveJournal and code gurus from rec.arts.int-fiction helped me lots, as did my wonderful wife Helen:
Michael J. Roberts, Jay T, Dan Shiovitz, adjectivemarcus
For the character's knowledge of the cards I relied extensively on the _TarotL Tarot History Information Sheet_ by members of the TarotL discussion group (http://www.yahoogroups.com/group/TarotL)
Authors: Mary K. Greer, Tom Tadfor Little, Nina Lee Braden, Linda Dunn, Mark Filipas, Robert V. O'Neill, Christine Payne-Towler, Robert Place, James Revak, and others.
Compiled and edited by Tom Tadfor Little.
For my own knowledge of the cards I like to turn to _The Celtic Tarot_ by Helena Paterson.
All that said, it's been a fun project and I hope you like it.
=====================================================================
The man then gives a cheery wave and vanishes as mysteriously as he appeared.
>xyzzy
Do you think the author wants to be summoned here every five minutes? Don't over use magical verbs, they wear out.
Adventurer's Consumer Guide
Suddenly everything looks as if it is made of butter. Just as suddenly all is back to normal. But you get a strange feeling that somehow, somewhere, something has changed.
Toasterama
Suddenly you are transported out of your house and never have to eat toast again! Yay! Well... not really. Nothing happens. Nice try, though.
Unnkulia X: Escape of the Sacrificed
Suddenly, you find yourself enclosed in a huge cloud of orange smoke. When it clears, you suddenly realize that you're in...
Got ID?
Suddenly you vanish from your current surroundings...
Swirly mist blows round you...
Your feet tingle...
And then...
You reappear in an alternative universe which is, for the purposes of this game, exactly identical to the one you originated in.
Broken Legs
Sure, you might as well do some vocal exercises.
"Xyzzy xyzzy xyzzy xyzzy zoo!" Your tongue feels really limber, but you still suck. Why?
>xyzzy
OK, fine, second time's a charm.
"Xyzzy xyzzy xyzzy xyzzy zoo!" It sounds even worse than the first time. Why?
>xyzzy
Come on, Lottie, it's not like you're going to magically improve.
"Xyzzy xyzzy xyzzy xyzzy zoo!" See? Just as bad as ever. Why?
Note: You can also do vocal exercises via "plugh". Doing either xyzzy or plugh increases a shared internal counter to determine which first paragraph to respond with.
The Waterhouse Women
That doesn't seem to have any effect here, unfortunately.
The Tempest
That instruction, that verb, doth elude me.
Flotsam; Kingdom Without End
That is not a command you can use. (Type "HELP" for a list of valid comands.)
Winter Wonderland
That is not a recognizable verb.
Slouching Towards Bedlam
That is not a recognized verb.
Escape from a Planet Filled with Monkeys!
That is not a valid command. (You can type “HELP” for a list of valid comands.)
Werner's Quest Part 2
That is not possible.
Timetrap
That magic word has no power in this place and time.
The Last Just Cause
That might be foolish, try something else...
The City
That phrase means something to you, though you cannot remember what. Memories may not be opaque, but the density of layers that cover your remembrances obscure any recollection of what this word might mean.
The Queen of Swords
That really has no place here, does it?
Wait until you get home and fire up the computer, THEN you can use magic words.
Alabaster
[The latter response is probably only in older versions of the games.]
Fort Aegea
That spell doesn't work here.
Muse: An Autumn Romance
That was not a verb I recognised.
Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live.
- Exodus 22:18 |
Condemned
[That won't work here: this is a modern work of IF.]
The Chicken Under the Window
That word is not near the narrative.
A Stop For the Night
That Word has no power here.
Ad Verbum
That word has worked its magic.
Choose Your Own Romance
That's not a command you can use.
Intro to Jabberwocky
That's not a verb I recognise.
And don't bother trying "plugh".
| "It seems very pretty," she said when she had finished it, "but it's RATHER hard to understand!" (You see, she didn't like to confess, even to herself, that she couldn't make it out at all.) -- Alice |
Photopia
That's not a verb you need to use.
Yay Games
That's what we're here for, yes.
The Atomic Heart
The customer isn't always right; everyone is always wrong.
Fido and The Dead Body
The dead body whispers, "Plugh."
This Is The Toaster
The detective stepped cautiously north into the small closet. Well lit from an unseen source, the closet revealed a few rumply clothes on hangers and a knick-knack or two but nothing remotely relevant to the case. Ed left the way he came, walking north back into the hallway.
He emerged in a dimly lit drawing room that smelled of zinnias and old dust. Bending down, Ed examined a piece of wooden wood. "This could come in handy," the detective mused as he picked it up.
Just then, a celebrity walked into the room from the east! Ed screamed and pulled the trigger on his pistol. Too late ...
Freedom
The framastructure buzzes and lights up briefly.
>xyzzy
The framastructure emits a high-pitched squeal and glows purple-and-yellow. You smell coal burning.
>xyzzy
You feel an uniMAGINABLE burst of guilty pleasure. This belongs to
the Snugleys! Ooh, ahh ... There's that -- eow! Did it really do THAT,
down THERE? Don't let the cat see! URRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
>xyzzy
You feel an uniMAGINABLE burst of guilty pleasure. This belongs to
the Snugleys! Ooh, ahh ... There's that -- eow! Did it really do THAT,
down THERE? Don't let the cat see! URRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
>xyzzy
BRUGGGGGGGH1!!!!!!111!!!!!11
[and the game ends]
Time Place People Water Way
The ghost of Gordon Way appears and mutters something about being in the wrong place at the wrong time.
Resonance
The good citizens of Fair City don't appreciate that kind of language.
Dino Hunt
The ground shakes violently, making you drop everything you're carrying. Color, shapes, movement -- before you can figure out what's happening, three full-sized brightly colored dinosaurs surround you. The brontosaurus steps on you, the pterodacyl scratches you, and then the tyrannosaurus rex eats you alive.
Who says magic is dead?
*** You have died ***
Harlequin Girl
Nevermore
The name of old, lost magic briefly echoes, then is gone.
Wheel
The rings silently spin, and finally come to rest reading:
"The voice speaks hollowly."
Outsided
The room spins wildly, and suddenly you have pinched a loaf in your trousers!
Theatre
The shadows shift subtly. Perhaps it would not be wise to draw attention to yourself by uttering those words.
City of Secrets
The strange word, though meaningless, endows you with a brief flush of confidence and self-assurance.
The Djinni Chronicles
The timeless word temporarily integrated me.
The Fat Lardo And The Rubber Ducky
The wierd word (how, on Earth, could someone come up with something like that? -
it's so strange! "XYZZY"... Damn!) transports you to a better place - reality!
Lucky you thought of that...
[then the game quits]
Sunset Over Savannah
The Newcomer
The word of power resonates strangely, and all color is momentarily bled from your view. The air seems too tangible.
Metamorphoses
There have been other worlds in your experience that a few well-placed words could bend or change. But this place seems not responsive to such control.
Losing Your Grip
There is a puff of smoke. Something lands in your hands.
>i
You have a fool.
>x fool
A tiny doll tricked out in a harlequin's outfit. When you turn
it over in your hands, you see that its back is missing, leaving the fool
hollow. There is a matching hole where its larynx should be.
Alcohol solves everything; Harrington House
There's a listening sort of silence.
Chickens of Distinction
They don't pay you enough for that.
Jack's Adventures
This being Fairyland, every word is a magic word.
The Duel in the Snow
This game doesn't use the Cyrillic alphabet.
A Monkey Stole Your Toast!
This game was written for speedIF ToasterComp II:
You must write a *very* short game -- as short and tiny and meaningless as you want -- involving any, all, or none of the following: toast, toasters, bagels, scones, English muffins, jam, High Tea, or magical glvoes grabbing chocolate candies out of the television set. You have two hours -- bonus points if you get done in one hour.
Reality Railroad
This game was written for speedIF U:
Write a game set (at least in part) in either Asgard, a TV studio, or on or near a railroad. The game should feature Death (the anthropomorphic representation), Radical Al, and/or any member of the Little Rascals. Said person should either have or need socks, a feather boa, a robot, a rutabaga, or an aeroplane. Bonus points for including a rodeo, a Vault, anything ruffled, or any the word "riccochet". You have two hours to finish (for full credit -- up to three hours for partial). Go!
Behold!
This game was written for "SpeedIF Xyzzy". The parameters were as follow:
This year, a very special XYZZY awards ceremony will coincide with the anniversary of the invention of cheese. One of the presenters is scheduled to be either Stephen Bishop or Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. But alas, tragedy has struck! This tragedy will somehow involve, or possibly be solved by, a fruit basket filled with mangoes and/or Psmith.
Bonus points will be awarded for mention of the numbers 21351 or 4+3i, giant squids, ramen, cork nuts, or yesterday. Feel free to take liberties, but not without my baby. Ready? Go!
Bad Guys
Though you do command much magical talent, this isn't the way to use it.
Happy Ever After
Though you're not entirely sure why, merely saying that brings a smile to your face.
Custard
Try typing it again.
[Note: Custard plays havok with player input if it detects that the user is trying to enter "xyzzy".]
Tube Trouble
TUBE TROUBLE is a mini-adventure by Richard Tucker, based on a 1988 BBC Micro game by Richard Tucker and Damian Gamble. Gareth Rees made many helpful suggestions. It was created with Inform, Graham Nelson's infocom-format adventure game compiler, and may be copied freely.
As this is a short, silly, unreasonable game, you may be killed without warning.
Please email bugs and comments to [eaddress omitted].
Dead Like Ants
Unbidden, some ancient instinctual meme crawls up from your subconscious. Your lips dance of their own accord. “Xyzzy,” you say.
You begin to twitch and shudder, your tiny brain cartwheeling into an ouroboros of self-referential insanity. “Xyzzy,” you repeat. “Xyzzy.”
You don't even notice as your legs give way and you collapse to the ground. Your senses have closed in, your mind shut down. And all that is left... is xyzzy.
(Your score has just decreased by twenty points.)
(If you’d prefer not to be notified about score changes in the future, type NOTIFY OFF.)
*** GAME OVER ***
In 1 move, you have scored -20 of a possible 6 points. This makes you a xyzzy.
Would you like to RESTORE a saved position, RESTART the story, UNDO the last move, see your FULL SCORE, or QUIT?
>full score
In 1 move, you have scored -20 of a possible 6 points. This makes you a xyzzy. Your score consists of:
-1 points for xyzzy
-1 points for xyzzy, xyzzy
-1 points for xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy
-1 points for xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy
-1 points for xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy
-1 points for xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy
-1 points for xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy
-1 points for xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy
-1 points for xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy
-1 points for xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy
-1 points for xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy
-1 points for xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy
-1 points for xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy
-1 points for xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy
-1 points for xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy
-1 points for xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy
-1 points for xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy
-1 points for xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy
-1 points for xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy
-1 points for xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy, xyzzy
Would you like to RESTORE a saved position, RESTART the story, UNDO the last move, see your FULL SCORE, or QUIT?
Guard Duty
Underworld
** Library error 11 (72,0) **
Apparently Ornomir has special magic-word-proof enchantments installed in his lair.
Frobozz Magic Support
Unfortunately, you never quite finished Elementary Enchanting 101, so you have no idea how to cast, or even learn, that spell. If indeed it is a spell.
Insider Information
Unrecognised verb
Inside Woman
Utopia Technologies have crafted a world of science, not magic.
Jewel of Knowledge
Watch your language!
It Could Only Happen To You
Watching it on TV wasn't enough?
On The Farm
Welcome to the xyzzy transport service!
There are no locked door/time sensitive puzzles in this game. So, by using the xyzzy command, you are allowed to jump to any room in the game that you have previously visited. Simply enter the number appearing next to the room you want to travel to at the "XYZZY>" prompt.
[1] Porch
XYZZY>
A Stroll on the Roof
Well, having missed countless speedifs, this is my first entry. Very late. Enjoy...IF YOU DARE.
The parameters? "Your game will be set on one or several floor(s) of a thirty- story building in Manhattan. At the beginning of the game, it's ten in the evening on December 31, 2002. On every floor, the New Year's bash is going on -- the people in their high-rise apartments, the rented out function halls, even the office workers stuck here late. Fireworks are scheduled to begin over the water promptly at midnight. Unfortunately, the building will be taken over by terrorists at eleven-thirty -- they've infiltrated the maintenance staff and have been surreptitiously placing bombs in various locations throughout the building during the past few months, all set to go off at different times later that evening if their demands aren't met."
Why not...visit my website! http://www.track0.f2s.com. No, wait, don't visit it. It sucks.
Chateu Le Mont
What?
Not Much Time
"What?"
Informatory
What do you want to xyzzy?
Werner's Quest Part 3
What kind of talk is that? I'm not Encyclopedia Britannia y'know.
Assignment
What in the world did you expect that to do here? I have to give you credit for trying, and consider yourself one of the l33t for trying it out, even though I don't know enough to actually implement a scoring system.
Werner's Quest Part 4
What on earth do you mean by that?
Constraints (from WalkthruComp)
Savoir-Faire
When you speak the magic word, you find yourself unexpectedly provided with a new cylinder of shining metal!!
Letters From Home
Dwenodon
Wizards are tolerated in Dwenodon, even revered by some. but here in the Western Lands, and at Stonebrook in particular, they are feared and hated. People who are heard to mutter magic words can often find themselves in serious trouble with the locals.
Ribbons
Would an Australian art thief make his escape postheist?
Cough Cough
Wrong game.
Crystal Ball; Even Bantams Get The Blues; Unity
'xyzzy'? I don't know that word.
Hercules First Labor
"xyzzy" is a word I don't know...sorry!
The Beetmonger's Journal
xyzzy muttered an ancient curse under his breath to no avail.
Out of the Study; Puddles on the Path
'xyzzy'? [That word is not recognised.]
Sardoria
'xyzzy'? [That word isn't recognised.]
Leaves
'xyzzy'? That word is not understood.
The Isolato Incident
'xyzzy'? We're not aware of that word.
Sparrow's Song
Xyzzy. Xyzzy... That seems familiar to you for a moment, but then your mind travels elsewhere.
Thorfinn's Realm
"xyzzy... xyzzy... XYZZY!!", you shout, the power of the word echoing around you. And yet, nothing happens.
On a Horse With No Name
'xyzzy'? You can't remember that word.
Inevitable
"Xyzzy!" you cry, calling on the gods of old... but nothing changes.
Evil Brain Five
“Xyzzy!” you say. A hollow voice says, “Yeah, like that ever works.”
On closer inspection, the voice stems from the fishbowl.
>xyzzy
“Xyzzy!” you say. “Is this normal police procedure?” asks the evil brain.
>xyzzy
“Xyzzy!” you say. “I'm sure you've solved a lot of cases this way,” blubs the evil brain.
>xyzzy
“Xyzzy!” you say. Nothing obvious happens.
Temple of Kaos
“XYZZY” you say to yourself.
The Frenetic Five vs. Mr. Redundancy Man
"Xyzzy!" you shout, but there's no one around to hear.
The Validator says, "I think it's an excellent idea to xyzzy right now!"
The Frenetic Five vs. Sturm und Drang; The Frenetic Five vs. The Seven Deadly Dwarves
"Xyzzy!" you shout, rallying your troops to battle. They look at you like you're nuts.
Return to Zork: Another Story
Yeah, I can read it.
Nothing, obviously, happens.
A scurvy gift for Bosn Chuck
Yo ho ho!
Are You A Chef?
You apply a great deal of concentration, and find yourself walking into another place.
Long Hall
This room is brilliantly lit from all directions. In fact, it is unclear where
the walls and ceiling end. A doorway leads to the west, and tunnels lead in most
other directions, although all but one are boarded up. An archway stands at the
south end of the hall.
Visible exits: south (to Dorm A), west (to the Adventurer's Lounge), southwest (to the Big Dig)
You can see a pile of ashes, a note and the Official ifMUD Bulletin Board here.
Death To My Enemies
You apply a great deal of concentration, and find yourself walking into another place.
Long Hall
This room is brilliantly lit from all directions. In fact, it is unclear where
the walls and ceiling end. Doorways lead to the east and west, and tunnels open
up in most other directions. An archway stands at the south end of the hall.
You can see:
a torch in a wall sconce, Object #1000, sign, Long Hall map, cow orkers, slide,
potential action list
Visible Exits:
south, north, west, east, southwest, southeast, northeast, northwest, up
[Wow, you're on the IFmud!!! Whee! For kicks, you walk west...]
Adventurer's Lounge
Candles on the wood-panelled walls create a comfortably dark atmosphere.
Hand-drawn maps are taped to nearly every surface - the walls, the ceiling, the
trophy case in the corner. Seating is plentiful. A small storage closet is to the north.
You can see:
Blob, wooden wood, keychain, Clive, Fanboy, fairy
Visible Exits:
east, north, west, up
[Hmmmmm... there seems to be a conversation going on!]
Fanboy says, "You see, I've never really understood what was so great about
Zork. I hate zork. It has no continuity and makes no sense. However,
Deadline, which is essencially puzzleless is near perfect interactive fiction as the name implies."
Clive says (to Fanboy), "Deadline had plenty of puzzles. For instance, the maze in the wine cellar under the house."
Fanboy says, "What maze in the wine cellar under the house/"
Clive says (to Fanboy), "Not to mention the infamous FCD#3"
Fanboy says (to Clive), "I'm confused."
Clive says, "The thing that was annoying about Deadline was all the little
colored rods you had to pick up... it was a really transparent way to copy the treasures idea from Zork."
Fanboy says (to Clive), "We are not talking about the same game."
Clive says (to Fanboy), "Sure we are."
Fanboy says (to Clive), "Deadline did not have any colored rods nor a maze in the wine cellar."
Clive says, "I didn't like Witness, because it had all these dumb subplots where
you had to follow the various characters around. Find the will, find the secret room, etc."
Fanboy says (to Clive), "Now you are describing Deadline."
Clive exclaims (to Fanboy), "You don't know what you're talkijg about!"
Clive says, "I am an Infocom expert."
[Alright, you feel you've had enough...]
You are back to your normal surroundings now.
English Suburban Garden
You are instantly and seamlessly transported to an alternative universe where all the familiar objects around you have been replaced by sinister copies that look and act exactly like the originals. On the other hand, perhaps nothing happened at all.
The Story of Morris the Chicken Being Helped by a Squirrel
You are instantly transported to your present location.
Cheater
You are magically transported to an astounding cave containing many wonderful treasures. Unfortunately it is very dark there. You eventually fall into a pit.
*** You have died ***
Competition '98
You are magically transported to the only room in this game!
Competition Aught-Two; Competition Aught-Three
You are magically transported to the only room in this game!
(Results from past years are available in the instructions--type 'info')
Aayela
You are suddenly overcome with nostalgia for the good old days, when adventurers who spoke in two-word sentences and slew dragons with their bare hands...
Return to Silli Productions
You are teleported to the realm of the Dragon Snarclackle.
what do you mean my disterbing my sleep? yells Dragon Snarclackel. I spent I lifetime getting into that sleep, and now it's *gone*. I tell you what. If you can find me 3 Red snakes and the famous stick with the crooked end, and a ball of string, I'll let you go! Nobody escapes the Dragon Snarclackle! You have, er, uh 23, um, hours or else, I'll.......SNOOOOOOOOOOOOORE.....SOUND_OF_SNOOOOOOZING. The Dragon Snarclakel suddenly falls off the cliff and lands on you, and you wake up and you are back at the Building of Silli Productions.
The Carthage Corn Maze
You are transported elsewhere, then back here. Along the way, a TV set breaks, and you munch on tasty celery.
Stargazer: Prologue
You attempt to speak the sacred Word of Power, but find your throat stuck all of a sudden. You cannot say anything!
"Many fools have made the same mistake. Once such fool set off the Exodus which trapped Thran...," booms an unseen voice.
"DO NOT CONTINUE IN YOUR INSOLENCE!," it screams!
Your power of speech returns, and you make a quick vow never to speak that terrible word again.
The Adventures of the President of the United States
You can almost hear the former presidents laughing at you.
Basket of Destiny
You can chant all the magic words you want, but it won't clean your home.
To Otherwhere And Back
You can't do that.
And the Waves Choke the Wind
The Grand Quest
You don't have a licence for that.
The House of the Stalker
You don't have an issue of the magazine handy. Oh, that WAS what you meant, wasn't it?
Invasion of the Angora Fetish Transvestites from the Graveyards of Jupiter
You don't need to use 'xyyzy' as a verb to complete the game.
little girl in the big world
You feel a little dizzy. Suddenly green characters start falling from the ceiling and walls. More and more green rain appears, except for Alice who glows in gold. Maybe you should not have eaten those yellow pills. You blink with your eyes and the green rain is gone. Everything looks like it should. You now know it is only a computer simulation, but somehow it feels strangely reassuring.
Hey, Jingo!
You feel a momentary thrill of excitement, but then it passes.
Augmented Fourth
You feel a tugging sensation at the tips of your toes. Without warning, you suddenly wink out of existence...
Control Room
[1st time]
Red and blue lights flash from long metal panels of all shapes and sizes. As
your eyes become accustomed to this distraction, you see hundreds of little
gnomelike men rushing in every direction, carrying all manner of objects. One
particular gnome
[2nd to 10th]
A gnome
brushes by carrying a package labeled "Papoosen Props: [one of]blue cottage[or]receptacle[or]debris[or]court[or]endtable[or]courtyard wall[or]pillars[or]path[or]rooms[or]brambles[at random]". Next to you, a tall gnome, who looks to be in charge, shouts orders into the organized chaos, occasionally [one of]stopping to make notes in his black binder[or]berating lazy gnomes[or]approving NPCs which are brought before him[or]inspecting packages[or]making sure the props are lifelike[at random].
He snaps his fingers briskly. A moment of disorientation finds you back where you were before[ and, unfortunately, still falling]. You can't help but wonder if it was all just a dream, brought on by the stress of the week's events...
[11th time]
Nothing happens. But a hollow voice in the back of your mind, which sounds
suspiciously like Lenny the Head Gnome mutters, "Heh...fool."
[12th time, etc.]
A hollow voice in the back of your mind mutters, "Heh...fool."
She's Got A Thing For A Spring
You feel an indescribable sense of deja vu, and the world seems to turn inside out.
Darkness
It is pitch dark, and you can't see a thing.
>xyzzy
Nothing happens.
>plugh
Fortunately, you studied well in the old days. Once again, you find yourself in the...
Lurk. Unite. Die. Invent. Think. Expire.
You feel like your elsewhere. Looking around you remember that you are.
2604
You game will be set on one or several floor(s) of a thirty-story building in
Manhattan. At the beginning of the game, it's ten in the evening on December 31,
2002. On every floor, the New Year's bash is going on -- the people in their
high-rise apartments, the rented out function halls, even the office workers
stuck here late. Fireworks are scheduled to begin over the water promptly at
midnight. Unfortunately, the building will be taken over by terrorists at
eleven-thirty -- they've infiltrated the maintenance staff and have been
surreptitiously placing bombs in various locations throughout the building
during the past few months, all set to go off at different times later that
evening if their demands aren't met.
Each author will get one floor in the building as their own. You're free to use
unused floors to a degree, but try not to do too much that'd interfere with other people's games.
Domicile
You have a vague feeling of unease after pronouncing that word.
Help! My Vacuum Cleaner Is Broken!
You have decided to take a mail-order course (in vacuum repair, basketweaving, chicken plucking, or monkey butlering) to improve your lot in life. But can you get your homework done and still attend a shooting of the Antiques Roadshow and/or When Bankers Attack, in which you are to be a featured player? Bonus points for including the colors scarlet, rose, paisley, or pastrami. Extra double bonus points for including a cardboard cut-out of Graham Nelson. You have two hours, starting at 9:30 MUDtime. Go!
When Help Collides
You haven't given out that hint in ages.
Beat the Devil
You hear a deep voice out of the air next to your right ear. It says 'Crowther and Woods, please report to the mall office.' You jump.
The Landing
You hear a hollow voice coughing in embarrassment as though it were caught off-guard without a witty response on hand.
A Gummi Bear's Night Out
You hear a hollow voice proclaim “Gummi Bears -- they hibernate in your colon!”
Leatherworld
You hear a hollow voice say 'I Like a Cow.'
Zymurgy
You hear a hollow voice say 'Mmmm... beer.'
The Weird Sister
You hear a hollow voice say 'SpeedIF doth murder sleep.'
The Tenyaka Memorial of Vegreville
You hear a hollow voice say "That's got to be a Ukrainian word."
Pick Up the Ice Cream Truck and Die
You hear a hollow voice saying “I’ll have a cornetto, please.”
Small World
You hear a small voice say, "Hollow, indeed."
The Last Laugh
You here a loud cry, "Dragons, Eeagh!!!"
August
You hold your tongue. Such utterances are still punishable by death. And you don't wish to start hearing voices again.
Unnkulian Unventure II: The Secret of Acme
You invoke an ancient word of power. So ancient, in fact, that it no longer works. Nothing happens.
Pop Music and Chocolate
You lose yourself in a distant fantasy.
You say the keyword. The man jerks like a lightning-struck tree at the sound of your voice, but it is too late.
You snap out of your fantasy and look around, a little twitchier and sweatier.
The Trip
You mumble some random syllables for no apparent reason, and, surprisingly, nothing happens.
Business As Usual
You mumble something that has nothing to do with what you're currently dealing with.
Masquerade; The Cove
You murmer "Xyzzy," but nothing happens.
Prized Possession; Redemption
You murmur "Xyzzy," but nothing happens.
The Edifice
You mutter a nonsense word, and, surprisingly, the Edifice trembles in response! Everything else goes silent, and for a moment, it sounds as if the Edifice might collapse! Finally, it stills, and the world returns to normal.
You seem to have created a Word of Power.
1893: A World's Fair Mystery
You practice your alphabet again, but stumble at the point where you reach the end and try going backwards.
One Foot Down
You raise your hands upwards, calling on the strength and spirits of your ancestors proclaiming, "XYZZY!"
Of course, nothing happens, but no one noticed you making a fool of yourself.
The Temple
You regret dropping out of Magic 101 at college.
Reverberations
You remember hearing that word from some little grom on the beach last year. You have no idea what it means, but it sounds way cool.
Spelunker's Quest
Vague
You say "xyzzy" aloud. The word has some meaning but you cannot remember why.
The Recruit
You shout 'XYZZY'.
A moment later you hear Sharon respond. “Hahah, Louie, that only works in text adventures, not in real life!”
Unnkulia Zero
You speak an ancient word of power. A hollow voice says, "No chance, chucko. This is a serious adventure. Shape up and fly right!"
Kissing the Buddha's Feet
You speak the ancient word of power. Then you realize you look absolutely silly doing so.
The One That Got Away
You speak the ancient word of power. When you realize that it does jack diddly, you slap your hand to your forehead and exclaim, "D'OH!"
Escape In The Dark
You speak the word, but nothing happens. How did that adventurer do it? Perhaps you should have talked to him instead of repeatedly stealing his treasure.
The Invisible Argonaut
You stand defiantly, look the king straight in the eye and say, "XYZZY!"
There is a brief pause. Then he punches you in the stomach.
A Moment of Hope
You sure could use some magic right about now.
King Arthur's Night Out; Lost in New York
You think you can hear Merlin laughing at you somewhere.
Across the Stars
You think you hear a fizzle and a pop, but ever since coming back from zero gravity training you've been hearing strange sounds every now and then.
Roots
You try, but you don't know how to pronounce it, so it doesn't work.
Fit For A Queen
You type in a magic word and get a snarky response.
Competition '99
You utter a word of Power, and the room trembles in response! One by one, the games in the room begin to tremble and vibrate, phasing in and out with the room until they disappear completely. Then the 'unsorted' bin begins to rattle, and, as you watch, it fills up with a new batch of games.
Competition Aught-One; Competition Aught-Zero
You utter a word of Power, and the room trembles in response! One by one, the games in the room begin to tremble and vibrate, phasing in and out with the room until they disappear completely. Then the 'unsorted' bin begins to rattle, and, as you watch, it fills up with a new batch of games.
Biscuit
You utter an ancient word of power, but all that happens is that your wife appears, shakes her head at you in disbelief and mutters something about "Dreaming again were we dear?"
Concrete Paradise
You utter the ancient Zulu curse under your breath...
...but nothing happens.
Enlisted
You utter the epic battle cry of the Space Force and you can almost hear a responding YO SPACE FORCE! being shouted from the thousands of pairs of lungs of troopers who have gone before you.
Dr. Dumont's Wild P.A.R.T.I.
You utter the magic words but nothing happens. Yet.
Adoo's Stinky Story
You wait a minute and nothing happens. Guess you'll have to figure this out the old-fashioned way.
The Gostak
You xyzzy deave, unheamily.
Arrival, or Attack of the B-Movie Clichés
You’d think a fancy graphic game like this would show you a pretty picture of some room from Adventure, or at least something flashy for your trouble.
Yeah, well.
Till Death Makes A Monk-Fish Out Of Me
You're a scientist, not an idiot.
Another Earth, Another Sky
You're a superhero, not a magician.
Screen
You're excused.
Lunatix: The Insanity Circle
You're only half right.
>plugh
You're only half right.
>xyzzy plugh
About The Author: Mike Synder is (as of September 1999)
a 27-year-old technology coordinator for Accu-Scan (www.accu-scan.com)
and the co-owner of Prowler Productions (www.prowler-pro.com). For more
information about me, visit my personal page on the web at www.prowler-pro.com/mike.
The House
You're really at your wits' ends' aren't you?
SpeedApocalypse
Your grade school teacher appears and waves an unnaturally long index finger at you. "Now, WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT REMEMBERING TO PUT YOUR NAME IN THE UPPER RIGHT HAND CORNER OF EVERY PAGE .... " Drops of sweat appear on the teacher's bald domed head.
Rough stone steps lead up the dome.
>[any player input]
The teacher disappears!
Vicious Cycles
Your heart stops. You keel over and pass into darkness.
Chicken and Egg
Your interrogator, in a tired--yet hollow--voice, mumbles "Fool."
A Rock and a Hard Place; Your Choice
Your sense of balance seems to shift, but you realize that it is just wishful thinking. Nothing happens. No magic works here.
Phlegm
Your senses are assaulted by a vision...
You are in a misty little haze of massages, all alike.
The vision passes.
Wearing the Claw
Your surroundings have changed! Oh, wait. Scratch that. I must have experienced a momentary hallucination. I guess you'll just have to walk wherever you want to go.
The Canapes of Death
Zeese are ze parameteurs of ze Speed-If Trop Tarde number vingt-et-quelque chose. You will note zey are veary veary zilly.
The player, a telepathic fish in disguise (or possibly a costume), must
infiltrate the Franco-Texan Embassy and quash their diabolical plan, involving
some of the following:
broken clocks
castor-oil filled pinatas
Kangaroo Sushi Chefs
the recently-back-from-Hell Dr Faustus
hot-air balloons
Extra points for mentioning:
pop-up books
Caribbean-island-shaped hors d'oeuvres
the 51st State
too many words beginning with Z
Disco or break dancing is *strictly* required.
Zis was begun at 11.44am BST on 19/3/3 & finished 17:06.
A Walk Through Forever
>>FOOM!<<
Inside Your Car
You are sitting in the driver's seat of your car. There are some keys in the ignition, and tasty food and a bottle of water in the glove compartment.
Wasting no time, you start the engine and make your way home.
*** You have won ***
Return to Zork: Another Story
>>Poof<<
In Debris Room
You are in a debris room filled with stuff washed in from
the surface. A low wide passage with cobbles becomes plugged with mud
and debris here, but an awkward canyon leads upward and west.
A note on the wall says, "Magic word XYZZY."
* You found one of the three hidden bonus points (the hidden location)*
You can see a small black candle (providing light) here.
A bit of dust falls from the cave ceiling.
[Good, your score has just gone up by one point.]
Ad Verbum
A distracted figure with a huge bushy beard blunders in just as you speak the word of ancient magic. The man wears loose clothing, and an expression of intense concentration. He is clutching his frizzy hair with one hand; his other hand grips an intricate grid - the object of his attention.
His eyes brighten the word you've spoken reaches his ears. "Yes! Yes! That's it!" he exclaims as he draws out a pen and fills in a row of squares. "Now my hyperconstrained, double-acrostic, cryptic crossword is complete, and ready to puzzle others. That was all I needed - just a simple five-letter word, composed only of the letters 'X' 'Y' and 'Z,' that would fit here!"
He grips your hand and shakes it fervently. "Thank you! Now that I've finished with that, I can get on to those other things I've been meaning to do, such as monkey-wrenching the demolition and saving recreational linguistics for future generations." He turns away and mutters, just before he departs, "I hope none of that will involve lying in front of a bulldozer..."
[+1.]
The Damp Camp
A hollow voice says
"Well, this adventure is written in tads not fortran, but seeing that you are pretty stuck, you can have your precious xyzzy."
There is a cloud of orange smoke and you realise that you are now in the ..................
The Theta Point
A hollow voice says "Yay, points!"
[For finding the obvious easter egg, your score has just gone up by one point.]
Appallatron
As you speak the word, you feel yourself sucked through fifth dimension, beyond time, space, Punch, and Judy, to be reunited with your Significant Other.
"I have made it! Even killer molluscs couldn't have stopped me!"
"Eh. You took too long. I'm not convinced. Let me set you one more task."
Sigh. "What?"
"See these eleven rings stacked on this pole? I want you to move them onto that other pole over there..."
*** You have won ***
BOFH
As you mutter the magic word the screen on your boss's laptop suddenly transforms! Where before was a spreadsheet with a few cells, (already pushing the limits of your boss's brain capacity) a collection of the hottest, most erotic pornography ever imagined has appeared!
When your boss notices the interesting change on his laptop his eyes go wide and a small smile crosses his lips. Unfortunately for him, your CEO chooses that exact moment to walk in and speak with the boss about something or other. Your CEO notices the plethora of fascinating sexual images on your boss' laptop and opens and closes his mouth a few times as he tries to speak but is too shocked and pissed off to form words. Finally some words come...
"Is this how you spend valuable company time?! Clean out your fucking desk and hit the street, deadbeat."
[Your score has just gone up by ten points.]
The Planet of the Infinite Minds
In a sudden moment of inspiration, an unusual word reveals itself to your mind. At first you imagine it to be unpronounceable, but you are in fact wrong. Phonetically, 'zizzie' would do the job fine. Your concentration is diverted for only a few seconds, but when you return to your senses you find that you are somewhere other than where you were...
Adventure a.k.a. Advent a.k.a. Colossal Cave
![[French]](../img/flag_fr.gif "French"){kind=small}
Aventure
Abenteuer
Moist
Suddenly, you are transported to the Dining Room! (Old magic never fails).
Dreams Run Solid
Jobs for Antioch!
"Xyzzy." You speak the word, half expecting it to be the key to a magic spell. But no, it is just a codeword, no more. You feel foolish.
You speak the codeword "Xyzzy" to the PA authority's leader, and she gives you all of the LLL documents, just as Mbogo had promised. In the next few years, your researchers come to perfect the manufacture of this drug, this "Viagra", and a large proportion of the population become employed in its production. Tourism, too, begins to pick up again. Having the real True Cross to show visitors is a big draw, of course, and it helps that the Seljuks are staying quiet. For now, at least.
***You have returned prosperity to Antioch.***
Spacestation
You a hear voice from across a vast distance of time and space, "That's Magic! Not a lot."
[Your score has just gone up by three points.]
Galatea
You feel your mouth form the beginning of the word...
...and there's that funny feeling of disconnect as you break the fourth wall, force information into your avatar that isn't part of the program, that comes from outside. For just a moment the avatar circuits register doubt, confusion, a hint of self-awareness...
And then you're sitting back in the control room, scrubbing at your eyes with the palm of your hand. Someone holds a cup of water under your nose.
"You didn't finish the scenario," says a voice, up and to the left.
A cool reassuring hand on the back of your neck, another voice answering: "Leave her alone for a minute! God!"
You don't answer either of them. Your gaze is fixed on the monitors: in the test room your avatar has fallen slack, no longer receiving your commands. You sip at the water, trying to feel like yourself again.
"I don't know," you say finally. "I don't think it's going to sell. Too cerebral."
*** The End ***
Another Goddamn Escape the Locked Room Game
Unnkulian Underworld: The Unknown Unventure
You invoke an ancient word of power. A wrenching sensation wracks your body, and you find yourself...
All Quiet on the Library Front
You invoke an ancient word of power, and a hollow voice whispers in your ear, "Quiet, please. No talking in the library."
[Your score has just gone up by one point.]
AFGNCAAP - IF Agent! Todays Adventure: Holy Goat!
You muble the magic word, but the spell doesn't work! The goat is still there. Hmm, you always worked that spell on yourself. Maybe you have to change it...
>yzzyx
You mumble the magic word backward and the goat is warped away, leaving the distinct smell of defeat. You hope she has fun in ADVENT.
Dragon Resources Stories
You vanish in a puff of smoke. When the smoke clears, your surroundings have changed.
Chamber
You are in a vast underground chamber. Rivulets of ochre ichor line the walls, reflecting light from an unseen source. From afar you can hear a cheerful little bird singing.
Some graffiti scrawled on the wall says: MAGIC WORD XYZZY. But you already knew that.
The Land Beyond the Picket Fence
Your senses reel, you feel a bit dizzy and you are...
You are standing in a small cavern. The sunlight pours in from the clearing to the west. The second exit is a narrow crawl to the northeast.
A barely readable inscription on the southern wall reads 'Magic Word:'. The magic word itself, however, has been washed out by the ravages of time.
The nasty gnome is here. He is obviously bored.
The gnome looks startled. With a stupid expression on his face, he exclaims: "Now what was that?!", obviously astonished.
Of the standard IF authoring systems, only ADRIFT has a default response for XYZZY.
ADRIFT GAMES
I'm sorry, but XYZZY doesn't do anything special in this game!
1st Time; 3 Minutes to Live; The ADRIFT Maze; The ADRIFT Project - Classified; ADRIFT-O-RAMA; ADRIFTmas Party; Adventure Strikes When You Least Expect It; Agent 4-F From Mars; The Amazing Uncle Griswold; The Amulet; Amy And The Raging Hormones; The Angel, the Devil and the Human; ARGH's Great Escape; Asteroid Aftermath; Back To Life... Unfortunately; The Hangover; Sophie's Adventure; Unraveling God
The following games don't recognize the verb "XYZZY" at all and give whatever default response is appropriate for a command where the verb is not understood. See the NOTUNDERSTOOD page for the actual responses.
1981; +=3; 30 Minutes; 9:05; 98769765;
A AAAAA AAAAAAAAA; The Abbey; An Abbreviated Night Before Christmas; Acid Whiplash; The Acorn Court; The Act of Misdirection; Adventureland; Aesthetic Deletions; Aftermath; Aggravatron; The Airport; Alien Abduction?; All Roads; All Things Devours; Alma Mater; The Amazing Interactive Turing Machine; Amissville (amiss.z5); Amnesia; Anchorhead; And So It Goes; And Then is Heard no More; Andreas Thorwald Cross; The Angel Curse; Annoyed Undead; Another Day, Another Sea Monster; Another Lifeless Planet and Me With No Beer; The Apocalypse Clock; Apocolyptica; Apollo 11; an apple from nowhere; Are you Too Chicken to Make a Deal?; Arid and Pale; Armario de Auga; The Art of Deception; Arthur Yahtzee: The Curse of Hell's Cheesecake; ASCII and the Argonauts: Astral Plane; The Ascot; Asylum (by cpuguy); Attack of the Yeti Robot Zombies; Auden's Eden; Augustine; Authority;
Babel; Back to WakeUp; Balances; Bane of the Builders; Bank of Zork; Barton; Basic Train-ing; Battle of the Planets; A Beginning; Behavior; Being the Little Guy; The Believable Adventures of an Invisible Man; The Best Man; Beyond the Blue Event Wall; The Big Mama; Bio; The Blade Sentinel; The Blair Bee Project; Bliss; The Bloody Mess; Blow Job Drifter; The Blueprint; Bmissfille; The Body; Border Zone; A Brain in the Rain; Break-In; BSE; Bunt; Burnt Toast;
CaffeiNation; Captain Speedo The New Generation Series Premiere: Missed by a hair - but not forgotten!; Carnival; The Case of Samuel Gregor; Cask; Cerulean Stowaway; A Change In The Weather; Cheating Death; Cheer Up; Chicken!; The Chicken's Dilemma; The Circus of Sadness; The Clock; Coffee Quest II; Coffins; Color and Number; Coming Home; Common Ground; The Commute; Congratulations!; Containment; Couch of Doom; The Count of Monte Cristo; Countdown to Doom; The Courier Who Missed Me; Cranial Pounding; The Crescent City at the Edge of Disaster; The Crouton Caper; Curse of Manorland; Cutthroats;
The Damsel and the Dragon; Danger School; A Dark and Stormy Entry; A Day for Fresh Sushi; A Day for Soft Food; Dead Of Winter; Deadline; Death Death Death Death; The Death of Two Great Minds; Death's Scavenger Hunt; December 31, 2002; Deep Brow Lifter; Degeneracy; Descent of Man; Destiny of the Chihuahua; Dig Dug; Digging For Onions; Dinner With Andre; A Dino's Night Out; Dinosaur Dinnertime!; Discord; Dithyrambic Bastards; Donkey Kong; Don't Fire Until You See The Yellows Of Their Niblets; Doom, Death, Destruction and All That; Down; Dragon George and The Man; Drama Queen 7 - Mother knows best; Dual Transform;
Earl Grey; Elephants and the Afterlife;Enter The Ninja; Episode in the Life of an Artist; Eric the Unready; Eric's Gift; Escape From the Arboretum; Escape from the Starship Zenon; Eschew as if you were She; Eterna Corp; Evacuate; The Evil Sorcerer; An Exploration of Colour;
Falling Angel; Fear; Fifteen; Final Assault of the Big Green Cliches; Fine-Tuned; Finding Henry; Fish and Spaceships; Flat; Flexible Pants; Flowers for Algernon; Floyd; For A Change; The Four Symbols; A Freak Accident Leaves Seattle Pantless; Frederik Pohl's Gateway; Fred's Backyard; Friar Bacon's Secret; Friday Afternoon; Frozen; Frustration; Fun and Games; Fusillade; Futz Mutz;
The Game Formerly Known as Hidden Nazi Mode; Garden of the Dragon; Generic Title; Genie; George; Getting to know the General; Gleaming the Verb; Glowgrass; The Golden Fleece; Goofy; Got Toast?; Gourmet; The Grade 3 Parallax; The Granite Book; The Great Ritual; Grounded in Space; Guitar of the Immortal Bard;
Hallowe'en; Hallway; The Hand That Rocks The Pumpkin; Hank Buzzcrack Has A Job To Do, God Damn It; Heist; Here Be Dragons!!!; Heroes; Hey, I'm Supposed to Be Free Range; The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy; Hollywood Hijinx; The Holy Grail; House on Haunted Hill; How Many Roads Must A Man Walk Down?; Hunter, in Darkness;
I Didn't Know You Could Yodel; I don't remember why this game is called "Onion"; I Never Promised You a Nose Guard; I Went to the WTO Ministerial Conference...; Identity Thief; An Important Appointment; In the Spotlight; The Inanimator; Infiltration on Io; Inheritance; Insomnia; Inspiration; Internal Documents; Into That Good Night;
Jacks or better to murder, Aces to win; Jane; Jigsaw; Jigsaw2; John's Fire Witch; Jump;
Kaged; Kids, don't eat your Halloween candy...; Kids Shouldn't Have to Save The World; The Knapsack Problem; Koan;
La Lagune de Montaigne; The Lake; Large Machine; LASH: Local Asynchronous Satellite Hookup; Last Days of Doom; Lazy Gods; Leather; Leather Goddesses of Phobos; LegBreaker 3k!; The Legend of Lady Magaidh; The Lesson of the Tortoise; Lethe Flow Phoenix; Life on Beal Street; Lightiania; The Lion in Winter; Lists And Lists; Literacy; Little Blue Men; Living Room; The Lobster; Lomalow; The loneliness of the long distance runner; Losing Your Step; Lost [the TADS one]; Love Song; The Lurking Horror;
Madame L'Estrange and the Troubled Spirit; Madrigals of War and Love; The Magic Toyshop; Manna; Marble Madness; The Masque of the Last Faeries; Masta'mind; The Maintenance Man; The Meteor, the Stone and a Long Glass of Sherbet; 'Mid the Sagebrush and the Cactus; A Mind Forever Voyaging; The Mission; Moon Over Jupiter; Moonbase; Moonmist; Moral Me This; Mr. Remote Mom; The Mulldoon Legacy; The Mulldoon Murders; Music Education; My Angel; My First Stupid Game; Myth; MythTale;
Nalian; Need! More! Toast!; A Night at Milliways; A Night at the Museum Forever; A Night At The XYZZYies; The Nemean Lion; Nine Points; Nord and Bert Couldn't Make Head or Tail of It; Nostradamus's Onion Sandwich; Not Made With Hands; Nothing More, Nothing Less; NPC Engine Demo Story;
The Obscene Quest of Dr. Aardvarkbarf; Offensive Probing; The Oily Deeps; The Old Sherwood Cemetary; On The Cross; Once; One Night In The North Atlantic; One Week; The Onion of Destiny; Only After Dark; OnNoEf; Operate!; The Oracle; Orpington; Oth.;
Pantheon, Party On; Pants On The Run; Pantsless in Seattle; A Parallax Dream; The Parallax Moon Bar Conspiracy; Passenger; Passing Familiarity; Perdition's Flames; A Perfect Day for Candiru; Persistence of Memory; Peter Theta Fixes The Holodeck; Photopia; Phred Phontius and the Quest for Pizza; Pick Up the IF-Archive and Pi; Pick Up the Phone Booth and Die; Pick Up the Phone Booth and Dye; The Pickpocket; Piece of Mind; Pintown; Pirate Adventure; Pirates and Ninjas and Aliens, Oh My!; Pirating; Planet Y; Planetfall; Plundered Hearts; The Possibility of Life's Destruction; Potsticker; Practical Astrology; The Profesee; Pryde And The Pink Flamingo; Pumping!; The Pumpkin; The Pumpkin Contest; Punk Points; Purple;
The Relentless Adventures of Captain Speedo, Episode 14: Victim of the Vaccum!; The Relentless Adventures of Captain Speedo, Episode 16: Let them "heat" cake!; The Relentless Adventures of Captain Speedo, Episode 42: So Long, and Thanks for All the Books; The Relentless Adventures of Captain Speedo, Episode 112: Alert on Alpha V!; Rent-A-Spy; Return to Doom; Revenge of the Chalupa; Revenger; The Ritual of Purification; Romeo, Juliet and the Dog; Rover's Day Out; Rowr!; Rox; Runes;
Samurai Tea Room; Scary House Amulet!; Scavenger Hunt; Schroedinger's Cat; Screw the Boston Tea Party; Sea Captains; Seastalker; Second Honeymoon; The Second Pit; Secret Agent; Service With a Smile; Shade; Shattered Memory; Sherlock: The Riddle of the Crown Jewels; shrapnel; Silicon Castles; Sinking the Lily Jane; Skyranch; Slacker X; Sludge; Snosae; So Far; The Sofa at the End of the Universe; Sorcerer; Soul-Searching; The Sound of One Hand Clapping; South Beach Rum Runner; The Space Under the Window; Sparky and Boots; Speed IF #2; Speed5; SpeedIF 19; A speedIF O entry; Spellbreaker; Spitting Crumbs; A Spliff In Time; The Spot; The Spy Who Always Wears Gloves Now; Spyder and Jeb; Squeaky On The Moon; Stairs; Star Hunter; Starcross; Stationfall; Statue; The Statuette; Stone Cell; Stranded; Strangers in the Night; Stupid Kittens; stupidgame; Surreal; Suspect; Suspended; Sylenius Mysterium; Symetry;
Tales From The College Presents A Breath Of Fresh Blair; Talisman, Challenging the Sands of Time; Tall Tales in the Big Easy; Tapestry; Taxes; Tears Keep Getting In My Dr. Pepper; Tears May Fall; Terrible Lizards; Temple of the Orc Mage; A Tenuous Hold; TG-TADS: Prototype I; Things; Threading the Labyrinth; Three Steps to the Left; Tightest; Time: All things come to an end; Timeout; Timequest; Titanic: Leo's Revenge; Tommy the Toaster; Tooth Ow Zunden Too; Tooth Ow Zunden Won!; A Top Hat For Eddie; Total Paddling Mania; The Tower of Beef; The Town Dragon; Toxic Sewage (A (Love) Story); Tragedy strikes at the XYZZY awards!; Transfer; Trapped in a One-Room Dilly; Travels in the Land of Erden; Triple Bear Beer; Triumphant Return of the Evil Sea Grape; Trudge; Twilight of the Dogs; Tyler's Great Cube Game;
Ugly Chapter; Uncle Zebulon's Will; Under Cover Of Darkness; Undertow; The Unfortunate Training of Frank Lee, Monkey Butler To Be; Upwards and Onwards;
Vacationing in Scotland; Verb!; Vindaloo; Visitor; Visualizing; Voices; Volcano Isle;
The Weapon; Weaving a Basket (or Something); The Wedding; Werner's Quest Part 1; What Dreams May Come; When I Grow Up I Want To Be A Firetruck; Where Evil Dwells; Will The Real Marjorie Hopkirk Please Stand Up? Why did the Dino cross the Road?; William Tell: The Game!!!!!!!!!!!; Withdraval Symptoms; Witness; Worlds Apart; Wooden Cat vs. Robot Monkey; worm;
Yellow Dog Running; The Yellow Stone; You are a Chef!; You Are Here; You Were Doomed From The Start!; Your mind is gone, it must be brought, you have some rock candy; (You're) Toast!;
Zig-zy; zork, buried chaos; Zork Zero: The Revenge of Megaboz; Zugzwang
There is no single applicable message for FailSafe. That game returns one of a large variety of 'I don't understand you' type messages, instead. To say more than that is a spoiler.
It's a similar story with Forbidden Castle; its generic responses include:
Rape, Pillage, Galore! almost ignores what the user types and comes up with a randomized message in response to it.
A Man Named Bill won't let you type in "xyzzy" or anything else. Well, you can type stuff, but anything you type is replaced with pre-determined input.
The Esperanto game, La Insulo Texel,
tries to be helpful by replacing 'x' with 'sh' and 'y' with 'jh'
in the player's input, resulting in this bizarre exchange:
> shjhzzjh
Chu?
And some games like Little Billy or Sweet Dreams don't let you type anything at all. Just point 'n' click. Promoted uses menus for input.
Do you want to see the PLUGH or SING responses pages now? Or Rick Adams's Everything you ever wanted to know about the magic word XYZZY page?
Home / IF / davidwelbourn(a)hotmail*com / Last Updated: Nov 24, 2009.
