In this one-room romantic comedy, you play as an easily-distracted 30-year-old graduate student in their on-campus Wisconsin office. I'm your vivacious and talented girlfriend, Violet. I hate that I had to give you an ultimatum, dundeecake, especially on your birthday, but your procrastination gave me no choice. Write a thousand words for your dissertation today or I'm flying back to Australia tomorrow morning. To help encourage you, I'm here, in spirit, as the game's narrator. Please, wallaroo, just WRITE. For us? For me?
This solution is by David Welbourn, and is based on Release 1 of the game.
SPOILERS AHEAD. Reading a walkthrough prematurely can sometimes diminish one's enjoyment of an interactive fiction game. Please make an honest effort to play the game before reading this walkthrough.
Your character is male by default, but you can play as female, if you wish:
> female —or— heteronormativity off.
You can try to look around a little, but Violet will insist that you try to WRITE. In a few turns, you'll start to hear your ex, Julia, and a man in her office across the hallway.
> look. x me. x tattoo.("TYVTWD")
> x desk.
> write.(no, you must explicitly sit the first time)
> sit. write.(no, word processor isn't on)
> x computer. open word. write.
(last try: a bit tired, but come on!)
> write.(okay, you need to get more awake first)
(last try: seemingly insuperable fog of lethargy)
> open drawer. x bag.(You left it at the apartment.)
> x key. take key. take notebook.
> x notebook. read it. g. g. g. g.
> unlock cabinet with key. x trophy.
> open cabinet.
> take balloon. x it.
> take bottle. x it.("Divine Soda Mega Energy")
> drink liquid.(You are now alert.)
> write.(You are distracted by e-mail and blogs.)
(last try: distracted by online wonders)
Uh, let's step back and look around a bit before solving this latest problem. Start with the desk.
> x desk. look under desk. x sword.
> x itinerary. x framed. x pile.
> x wastebasket. x gum.
What about that cactus?
> x cactus. x pipe. x sprinkler.(There's a pen between it and the ceiling.)
> x pen.(Some letters are scratched on it.)
> take pen.(no, that's over the cactus)
> x stool.(flimsy)
> move chair to corner.(done, but floor is uneven there)
> x floor.
> stand on chair.(no: too unstable)
What about the bookcase?
> x bookcase. x book. x snowglobe.
Anything interesting near the door?
> x door. x switch. x light.
> x vent.(What's that purplish bit?)
> move chair to door. stand on chair.
> x vent. take thread. stand. x thread.
> move chair to desk.
That's enough exploration; deal with the window later. Go back to solving puzzles.
> unplug cable.
> write.(fail: You plug the cable back in.)
Do you remember the story about locking books in the trunk of your car and then giving the key away? Could that be a hint about locking the cable away and getting rid of the key?
> take cable. put cable in cabinet.
> close cabinet. lock cabinet with key.
> put key under door.(fail: Someone pushes it back.)
> put key in vent.(no)
> eat key.(You try, but it's gross.)
> put key on cabinet.(okay, but it's not tall enough)
> put key on bookcase.(need the stool for that)
> move stool to bookcase.
> stand on stool. put key on bookcase.
> d. break stool.(Now you can't get the cable back.)
> write.(no: Julia is too distracting.)
(last try: distracted by Julia)
Time to open your present.
> x balloon. pull tab.
> x furry. x square. read it.
> x chip. take it. x chip.(Note that the rubber is stretchy like a slingshot.)
> charge Pod.(It will beep when fully charged.)
> look under desk. x portal. xyzzy. plugh.
I assume the Pod is charged now.
> wear Pod. scrunch forehead.
You hear further instructions. RAISE left or right eyebrow to cycle through playlists. NOD to skip to the next track. JIGGLE your head clockwise to turn the volume up and anticlockwise to turn it down.
The first tune is MC Dingo: Straight Outta Down Under. The volume is low.
> jiggle head clockwise.(It's now loud enough so you can't hear Julia.)
> write.(ack, Pod is too loud)
(last try: too loud to concentrate)
The trick now is to partially deafen yourself by putting gum in your ears so you can continue to wear the platyPod when it's loud. The Pod must come off your ears first, of course.
> remove pod.
> take gum. chew gum. put gum in ears.
> wear pod. scrunch forehead.
> jiggle head clockwise.
> write.(no: You can't hear Julia anymore, but you can still smell her perfume.)
(last try: distracted by perfume)
> hold nose.(not a good all-afternoon solution)
> put square in nose.(Don't put things into your nose, you daffy dingo. Nose means no.)
> x framed. x photo. x frame. x clamp.
> break frame. take clamp. x it.
> put clamp on nose.
> write.(You're distracted by MC Dingo's lyrics.)
(last try: distracted by oz-hop)
> raise right eyebrow.("Now playing Professor Detective.")
> write.(You're distracted by Professor Detective's narrative.)
(last try: distracted by Professor Detective)
It turns out that the Primrose track is the only track you can safely listen to without it distracting you.
> raise right eyebrow.("Now playing Primrose Meanwell.")
> write.(The antics outside the window now distract you.)
(last try: distracted by goings-on outside)
The window has a blind, a lighter, and a cord.
> x window. take lighter. x it.
> x blind. pull cord. g.(Violet suggests you stand on the desk then examine the blind.)
> get on desk. x blind. aside.
> x whatever. fix whatever.("SNAP")
> d.
> pull cord.(It lowers halfway, then stops.)
> g. g.(no: That's as far down as it goes.)
> write.(no: You need to block all of the window.)
> take trophy. x it.
> unfold trophy. x sign.("FAVOURITE!")
> cover window with sign.(The window view is now fully blocked.)
> write.(can't: You now want to read the book.)
(last try: taunted by unread book)
> x book. take book.
> burn book.(with lighter: you hesitate)
> burn book.(It's gone. The sprinkler did nothing.)
In case you were wondering, the smoke smell is not enough to mask Julia's perfume. The clamp has to stay on your nose.
> write.(can't: You need a pen.)
(last try: distracted by "need" for pen)
Do you remember how stretchy the rubber square is? You can use it like a slingshot, with the right ammo, of course.
> x pile. tidy pile.(acquired a potato gem)
> put gem in pouch.
> shoot pen.(You miss! Tater tot shatters.)
> x globe. shake globe. x globe.
> throw globe at pen. g.(You miss! Globe shatters.)
> look. take coaster. x it.
> take figurine. x it. put it in pouch.
> shoot pen.(Hit! Pen falls! Figurine shatters.)
> take pen. x it.("You do not deserve Violet")
> write.(The pen cap sprays gunk over your clothes.)
(last try: exploding pen cap!)
> write.(No: The itching is too much.)
(last try: itchy)
> strip.(You do so.)
> write.(Now you need to pee.)
(last try: betrayed by bladder)
Note: If you're playing as female, the cactus isn't an option.
> pee in bottle —or— pee in basket —or— pee on cactus.
> write.
(i knew you could do it!)
(did you really think i would stay?)
(did you really think i would leave?)
(you are my FAVOURITE!)
The relationship is saved, you have a memorable birthday party, then you both move to Australia.
> amusing
Extras
Amusing
This is the response to AMUSING after you've won the game:
Apparently a tradition in these games is that a victorious player is allowed to view a list of humorous things they may've missed on the path to triumph. While I remain nonplussed that a stranger has turned one of the more emotionally complicated days of my romantic life into a "text adventure" game, I've resolved to be a sport about it. Forthwith, then, let me review some possibly-overlooked highlights of our neuroses:
1. ABOUT, CREDITS, and COPYRIGHT were also written by Actual Me.
2. On your computer, you can OPEN BROWSER (multiple times), OPEN E-MAIL (ditto), and OPEN CHAT (eek).
3. Various commands commonly implemented in other games have their own responses here, including QUIT, BUY (something), SING, SCORE, SECRETS, TOPICS, TIME, SORRY, NORMAL, SHORT, VERBOSE, THINK ABOUT something, REMEMBER, CRY, WAVE, and the traditional magic word XYZZY.
4. After you SHAKE THE GLOBE, EXAMINE IT for a few successive turns and/or EXAMINE THE FIGURINE.
5. Some things you may have missed examining along the way: ME, JULIA (once she's around), LIQUID, GUNK, THREAD (then take something), GUM a second time, ZOMBIE (couple of times), PIRATE, CEILING, WALL, and FLOOR. Also, the notebook has several pages to READ and its lenticular cover changes messages when you examine it.
6. Some of the ways to achieve less happy endings to the game are to BURN PILE, insist on trying to OPEN DOOR once Julia is around, MOVE STOOL TO CORNER and STAND ON STOOL, MAKE LOVE TO JULIA, either EXAMINE BOOK too many times or carry the book too many turns, and THROW WASTEBASKET AT PEN.
7. Much miscellany, a few examples of which are LOOK UNDER DESK, SWALLOW GUM and KEY, DELETE BROWSER or CHAT, BURN COASTER/PLATYPOD/CACTUS, PUT SQUARE IN POUCH, OPEN VENT, ASK VIOLET ABOUT SOMETHING, PUT KEY IN PILE (after cable is in cabinet), RIP CABLE, do anything to the JACK, PUT things in NOSE, KICK something, CLIMB BOOKCASE, TAKE VIOLET, and SLIDE KEY UNDER DOOR.
8. As (bonus!) easter eggs, WARREN EGG presents all the Warren Tim Harried tracks, JULIA EGG presents all the main events across the hall, and PETNAME EGG greets you with one of my petnames.
I'm debuting a new line of stainless steel numbats at the shop and won't keep prattling. My husband has sworn off the Internet and so can't type this himself, but he wanted me to tell you hello and that, even though he's sometimes wistful about not finishing his Ph.D., it was plainly for the best.
Epilogically yours, Violet
Characters
You are an easily-distracted 30-year-old graduate student who needs to write a thousand words for his (or her) thesis before it gets too late. By default, you are male, but you can use HETERONORMATIVITY OFF to become female.
Violet is your amazing girlfriend who loves you, encourages you, makes you handmade gifts, and wants to you be the best you you can be. But she's not truly in person in this game until the epilogue. You brought Violet to work in spirit, and as the narrator, this imaginary-Violet provides encouragement, criticism, anecdotes, and Australian-isms as needed. She's probably more stereotypically Australian than the real Violet. Also, both Violets are always female, regardless of your gender.
Julia is a former girlfriend who is, in your opinion, actively trying to sabotage your writing efforts by flirting loudly with another guy (or gal) outside your door and wearing the most aggressively appealing perfume. You can't imagine why else she'd be in her office on a Saturday. She's even denigrating Violet any chance she can.
"Historic Pfister" is a scrawny guy (or gal if you're female) you met at Lucy's party, and they said their parents owned a hotel in Milwaukee called "The Historic Pfister." Julia flirted with them then. Now, the guy/gal in the hallway that Julia is talking to sounds like the same person, and probably is, but regardless if it's the same person or not, imaginary-Violet names them "Historic Pfister" as well.
Outside the window is a virtual soap opera of distracting characters including two people playing frisbee, an older gentleman walking a malamute, a blond father and son, several zombies for an event called "Zombie Lurch", a group of counter-protesters, a van full of pirates, a dirigible of green aliens, and mole people emerging from the ground.
Thirty people shout "SURPRISE!" when you return home with your written pages. Did we mention that today is your birthday and you were in your birthday suit at the time?
Mentioned:
Lucy hosted a party where Julia flirted with actual "Historic Pfister" and you had an "adenoid incident" caused by putting something up your nose.
Marty (or Molly if you're female) had this office before you did. Based on the pen prank, it seems they never got over Violet choosing you.
Colin (or Camilla if you're female) also failed to win Violet's heart and expressed their anquish by using a 50-foot aluminium peacock.
The department secretary sent you an email about a missing stapler.
Your mother sent you an email about angels.
Violet's brother sent you an email with a vulgar subject line.
The Saskatoon Strangler killed six people before being arrested by the mounties in 1986. Plus, he worked as a confectioner.
MC Dingo, Primrose Meanwell, and Warren Tim Harried are musical artists heard on the platyPod.
Professor Detective is a narrative character heard on the platyPod, assisted by Undergraduate Constable Duffy. (This is, of course, a reference to the Detective and Constable Duffy in Infocom's mystery games.)
Your advisor is represented by two drawings in your notebook.
Colours
Did you notice how many things are some shade of violet in this game, particularly gifts from Violet?
Purple ink was used on the balloon and the rubber square.
The pen behind the sprinkler is bright lavender. Its cap sprays out purple gunk onto your clothes.
The thread is lilac-coloured.
The lettering on the sign is in fuchsia.
Primrose sings about having a purple pen.
Primrose herself might be regarded as an alternate universe version of Violet.
Credits
This is the response to CREDITS:
I know at the beginning it says "by Jeremy Freese," which I would deeply resent if me "being a game" wasn't all so absurd. I will try to not dwell further on his creepy expropriation of me. I cannot, however, sit quiet while the many others who helped Freese go egregiously unacknowledged.
For starters:
I wouldn't have my very own all-text adaptation if not for Inform 7, by Graham Nelson, Emily Short, and colleagues. Freese also leeched off I7 extensions written by Emily Short, David Fisher, and Jon Ingold. Freese pestered readers of rec.arts.int-fiction for aid, and among those who helped were J.D. Clemens, Eric Eve, Jesse McGrew, Peter Pears, Andrew Plotkin, Emily Short, and (especially) Mike Tarbert. Freese badgered others into beta testing, including Gemma Bristow, Corey Colyer, James Cunningham, Benji Dahood, Molly Geene, Dan Hirschman, Javri, Tiffany Julian, Sarah Morayati, Carl Muckenhoupt, Lucy Pigpuppet, Reiko, Thomas Say, Stephan Schonberg, and Ramona White. Eric Dean Freese made cover art.
Worst of all:
Freese used R. C. M. so thoroughly in creating this that he's an absolute [bother]* for not dedicating the whole thing to her.
Annoyedly yours,
Violet
(P.S. I've decided I'm just going to "*" whenever I have an aside. ASIDE or * and I'll tell you.)
Endings
I hope you get a disease
if you try to kiss or screw Julia.
Our relationship is over
if you fail to even try to write within a reasonable number of turns at the start of the game.
if you persist in opening the door. Julia enters your office and becomes a distraction you cannot ignore no matter what you do.
if you stand on the stool when the stool is in the corner. You fall and your head hits the edge of the cactus's pot. You're out cold.
if you persist on opening or reading the book. You end up squandering the entire day instead of writing. It's also dangerous to hold onto the book for very long.
if you throw the wastebasket at the pen while its behind the sprinkler. The sprinkler goes off and ruins the computer.
if you burn the pile on your desk. The smoke forces you out into the hallway where Julia smirks and pulls the fire alarm.
if you simply take too long to write anything. You have a generous amount of time to succeed, but not an endless amount.
(you are my FAVOURITE!)
if you succeed in writing the necessary one thousand words.
Inventory
Items are listed in the order they're acquired in this walkthrough.
your clothes. You're wearing them, but they aren't mentioned in your inventory.
After the pen's cap spews itchy purple gunk all over your clothes, remove your clothes to stop the itching; you drop the clothes. You're naked for the rest of the game.
For what it's worth, Violet will not let you strip before then, but she allows it when it will help you write.
your tattoo. It's scrawled on the back of your hand in red marker, and mentioned when you open the word processor. It's not listed in your inventory.
Examine the tattoo to read "TYVTWD" which means Take Your Violet To Work Day. It helps explain the premise that you're deliberately imagining that Violet is with you.
a shiny little key. It's in the desk drawer.
This key unlocks the cabinet. Take the balloon and bottle out of the cabinet.
Put the cable into the cabinet, then lock the cabinet with the key.
Move the stool to the bookcase, stand on the stool, then put the key on top of the bookcase so it's out of reach. Get off the stool then break the stool so you can't get the key, or the cable, or your internet distractions back.
a notebook. It's in the desk drawer.
Read it several times and look at its cover. This doesn't help you in any way, but it's amusing.
You do, however, need the pen and notebook in your inventory to jot down tricky sentences before typing them in as part of your process.
a very odd balloon. It's in the cabinet; unlock the cabinet with its key.
a plastic bottle filled with a fluorescent pink liquid. It's in the cabinet; unlock the cabinet with its key.
Drink the liquid to get an energy boost. The bottle is now styled as an empty plastic bottle.
Eventually, you will need to pee. You may opt to pee in this bottle, or in the wastebasket, or on the cactus. If you use the bottle, it is restyled as a plastic bottle containing your urine.
a bit of lilac thread. It's hanging out of the vent near the door. Move the chair to the door then stand on the chair to reach it.
You don't need the thread for anything. It's there to foreshadow that Violet hid something in the vent; the thread is from her sweater.
a blue ethernet cable. It's plugged into the back of your computer.
While the cable is available, you are tempted to distract yourself with internet content. You must put the cable out of reach by locking it in the cabinet, then putting the key on top of the bookcase, then breaking the stool so you cannot get the key back.
the strange furry electronic device. Acquire it by pulling the tab of the balloon inside the cabinet.
Examine it or the rubber square to learn it's a platyPod and how to use it; it's now restyled as the playPod.
Charge the Pod. You plug it into the computer's USB port and when it beeps a couple turns later, you take it back.
Chew the gum and put it into your ears, then wear the Pod. The gum will deafen you a little so the loudness of Pod doesn't distract you.
Scrunch your forehead to turn the Pod on; this instruction was written on the rubber square.
When the Pod is turned on, you first hear an audio message from Violet explaining more about how to use the Pod. Raise your left or right eyebrow to change the playlist. Nod to skip to the next track. Jiggle your head clockwise to turn the volume up, and jiggle your head anticlockwise to turn it down.
The Pod begins with the MC Dingo playlist at low volume.
Raise your right eyebrow twice to get to the Primrose Meanwell track; all the other tracks have content that's too distracting.
Jiggle your head clockwise to turn the volume up. Now you can't hear Julia any more.
a rubber square. Acquire it by pulling the tab of the balloon you found inside the cabinet.
Note that the square is particularly stretchy and can be used as a slingshot, if you put something into its pouch.
Read the square. Violet wrote a message about your present, the platyPod, and how to use it.
Remove the small chip from the square's pouch and examine it separately.
Put the potato gem into the pouch then shoot the pen. You miss, and the gem shatters. Put the figurine into the pouch then shoot the pen. The pen is knocked down to the floor, and the figurine shatters. You must use both the gem and the figurine; you need two shots to succeed.
Other items you can try to use as ammo are the gum and the chip, but neither fly through the air very well. Other items, like the clamp and the lighter, are too big for the pouch.
Remove the chip from the pouch and examine it to learn that squeezing the chip makes the chip play an audio recording of Violet shouting "Happy birthday!" followed by a cheery kazoo toot. Feel free to squeeze the chip, but it won't help you write.
a piece of Two Bob Slobber bubble gum. It's on the rim of the wastebasket by your desk.
Chew the gum, remove the platyPod if you had it on, then put the gum into your ears to muffle sounds a bit. Put the Pod back on. You need the Pod to be loud enough to drown out Julia's noises, but you need the gum to muffle the Pod so its loudness isn't itself a problem.
a framed beauty. It's on the desk. Its name changes frequently; it's sometimes a framed darling, a framed cutie, or a framed knockout.
Examine the frame of the framed beauty and note there's a clamp holding the frame and photo together.
a clamp. It's fused to the frame of the framed beauty. You must break the frame to free the clamp.
Put the clamp on your nose so you stop smelling Julia's obnoxious perfume.
a lighter. It's on the window sill; examine the window to find it.
When the book becomes a distraction, put the book into the wastebasket, then burn the book with the lighter. The sprinkler doesn't turn on, but don't worry about that right now; water would ruin your computer. Also, the smoke smell fails to mask Julia's perfume.
a spectacularly intricate origami trophy. It's on top of the cabinet, which you notice when you find interact with the cabinet.
Unfold the trophy; it is now a crumply sign.
After successfully lowering the blind halfway, cover the bottom half of the window with the sign.
a book. It's on the second shelf of the bookcase.
You don't dare read this book. If you do, you risk getting so engrossed in it that you never write anything.
When this book becomes a distraction, burn the book with the lighter. You hestitate the first time, but follow through with the second attempt.
a potato gem. Acquire this tater tot by tidying the pile on the desk.
Put the gem into the rubber square's pouch then shoot the pen. If you previously shot the figurine at the pen, the gem knocks the pen to the floor; otherwise, the gem misses. Either way, the gem shatters when it hits the ground.
a smartly-done snowglobe. It's on the bottom shelf of the bookcase. The adjective used to describe it changes often; sometimes it's a deftly-crafted snowglobe or a marvellous little snowglobe.
Examine the globe, shake it, then examine it again.
Throw the globe at the pen. You're reluctant to throw the globe at the pen the first time, but try again. The snowglobe misses the pen then smashes, leaving a figurine, a coaster, fake snow, and broken glass on the floor.
Note that in early versions of the game, you are unwilling to just BREAK the snowglobe until after you've used the potato gem.
a coaster. It's on the floor after the snowglobe is smashed.
You have no use for the coaster.
a figurine. It's on the floor after the snowglobe is smashed.
Put the figurine into the rubber square's pouch then shoot the pen. If you previously shot the potato gem at the pen, the figurine knocks the pen to the floor; otherwise, the figurine misses. Either way, the figurine shatters when it hits the ground.
a pen. It's wedged between the sprinkler and the ceiling. You either first notice it when you examine the cactus, or see it out of the corner of your eye later.
Using the rubber square as a slingshot, and the potato gem and the figurine as your ammo, shoot the pen. Your first shot misses, but the second succeeds.
When you have the pen, you stop obsessing about not having a pen.
When you remove the pen's cap, or the first time you try to WRITE with the pen, the cap explodes, drenching your clothes in itchy purple gunk. After that, you have a normal cap and pen.
Although you're using the computer to write, you also need the pen and the notebook as part of your writing process.
my itinerary. It's on the desk.
Examine it to learn about Violet's ultimatum: write a thousand words today, or she's leaving you and returning to Australia in the morning.
a photograph. It's on your desk after you break the frame of the framed beauty.
There's nothing you must do with the photograph itself. Hopefully, for you, it's the face that launches a thousand words.
some pitiful little plastic shards. They're on your desk after you break the frame of the framed beauty.
There's nothing you must do with the shards, but feel free to put them into the wastebasket.
Score
This is the response to SCORE:
I hope you're not expecting some lame joke about how you can score with me all you want after you get your writing done.
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