Inhumane is a Z-machine interactive fiction game written with Inform 5 and is © 1985 by Andrew Plotkin (writing as "Infobom"). The author wrote the original version of this game in BASIC for the Apple II when he was fourteen going on fifteen, so don't expect this game to be up to his usual standards. It is what it is.
In this parody of Infocom's Infidel, you play as a hapless adventurer who wants to pillage a pyramid. But the voice of the pharaoh has a better idea: if you can die in all of his death-traps, he'll let you take his gold coffin.
This solution is by David Welbourn, and is based on Revision 2 of the game.
SPOILERS AHEAD. Reading a walkthrough prematurely can sometimes diminish one's enjoyment of an interactive fiction game. Please make an honest effort to play the game before reading this walkthrough.
In Your Tent
There's little detail in this game, so if something doesn't have a description, we won't waste time trying to examine it.
> verbose. about.
> take amulet. s. s.
Roboff's Tent
> x note. (Roboff tells you to go to the middle of camp, then go east four times, north once, then dig. And you have to put the amulet into a slot to open the pyramid.)
> x radio. x toilet.
> n. w.
Storage Tent
> take torch. take shovel.
> e.
Center of Camp
Follow Roboff's directions:
> e. e. e. e. n.
In the Desert
> dig.
Bottom of a Hole
> put amulet in slot. (You fall into a pit.)
In a Pit
> x note. (You learn the real entrance is in Roboff's toilet. Then the pit caves in.)
In the Desert
> s. w. w. w. w. s.
Roboff's Tent
> open toilet. d.
Round Room
> x obelisk. (Your mind is filled with RAHN's commandments and you now see the obelisk in geometric terms. Weird.)
> n.
Darkness
You die. A voice offers you a deal. If you can die in every deathtrap after getting as far as possible to solve it, it'll let you take the coffin.
Round Room
You're alive and back here. Leave the shovel here. You won't need it again.
Let's start by going north and doing a left-hand on the wall traversal, going clockwise through these passages, shall we? It's as good a route as any.
> push button. (torch lit)
> n. n.
Bottom of Shaft
> take bag. open it. (has 2 coins for a set of 23)
> u.
Exercise-Wheel Room
I'll refer to the hole position in analog clock terms, with 12 above you, 6 below, 9 directly north, and 3 directly east, okay?
> take coin. s. (hole now at 7)
> take coin. s. (hole now at 8)
> take coin. s. (hole now at 9)
> take coin. s. (hole now at 10)
> take coin. s. (hole now at 11 and you die by unexpected waterfall)
Round Room
That was your 1st death-trap death.
> n. e. n.
Door Near Blades
> open door. (It begins swinging shut; it will close on the next turn.)
> n.
Stalagmite Room
The door locks behind you. Of course it does.
> n. (Water starts filling the room.)
North Stalagmite Room.
> read button. push button. (You die. There's fear gas, water, and blades.)
Round Room
That was your 2nd death-trap death.
> n. e. e.
Great Door
> open door. (locked)
> w. w. s.
Round Room
> e. e. n.
Room Full of Gadgets
> x gadgets. (Each have darts.)
> n.
North Gadget Room
> take ruby. (You die via many darts.)
Round Room
That was your 3rd death-trap death.
> e. e. e. e.
Outside Door
You're covered in glue...
> open door.
... and now fur.
> e. e. e.
End of Glass Hall
> take necklace. (You die via electric shock.)
Round Room
That was your 4th death-trap death.
> e. s.
Narrow Passage at Chasm
CAUTION: If you simply go south, you die, but it doesn't count because you didn't go far enough in the trap.
> jump. (You die when you slip off the far side into the pit.)
Round Room
That was your 5th death-trap death.
> s.
Corridor at Alcoves
> x window. (see diamond in the room below)
> e.
East Alcove
Hole in the ceiling, but you can't climb up there.
> w. s.
Outside Door
> open door. (The door slams hard on the inside wall)
> s.
Room With Chest
> close door. take needle.
> unlock chest with needle.
> take dorkmid.
> open door. (You die when the coal gas is lit by the steel doorknob slamming into the flint wall.)
Round Room
That was your 6th death-trap death.
> s. w.
West Alcove.
> turn crank. (This platform descends, and the east platform rises.)
On Platform
> e.
In Tiny Room
> take diamond. w.
On Platform
> turn crank. (The platform rises...)
West Alcove
... and a Dalek on the east platform exterminates you.
Round Room
That was your 7th death-trap death.
> w. s. s.
Alcove at End of Corridor
> x glass. (has green gas)
> take pebble.
> put pebble on middle.
> take gold. (ok)
> take silver. (ok)
> n. n. (You die when your extra weight tips you into a snake pit/)
Round Room
That was your 8th death-trap death.
> w. w.
Corridor Near Pit
A platform is going clockwise around a central vertical axle.
> z. (Repeat waiting until platform is east of axle.)
> w.
On the Platform
Platform is SE of the axle.
> z. z. z. (now west of the axle)
> w.
West of the Pit
> s.
Black Room
> take sphere. n. n.
Key Room
> x globe. take key. n.
Demon Room
> take demon. s. s.
West of the Pit
> z. (Repeat waiting until platform is west of axle.)
> e.
On the Platform
> z. z. (You die when an invisible bar knocks you into the pit.)
Round Room
That was your 9th death-trap death.
> take key. n. e. e.
Great Door
> unlock door with key. open door. e.
In the Tomb
From the fresco, you should be able to deduce that taunting voice is the Pharaoh, who is also Doctor Who. That tall blue box is the Tardis.
> x fresco. s.
In the Crypt
This time the frescos depict the Doctor's incarnations. The one in the scarf refers to the Tom Baker version.
> x frescos.
> take coffin. (no: too heavy to pick up)
> push coffin n.
In the Tomb
> push coffin w.
Great Door
> push coffin w.
T Intersection
> push coffin w.
Landing
> push coffin s.
Round Room
The obelisk speaks! RAHNgons grow in your blood-stream and you collapse thinking...
I love geometry...
I love geometry...
The game is over.
Mentioned:
Type ABOUT and open "Credits":
Credits
Well, there's Graham Nelson. You've probably heard of him by now.
There's the IF Archive at ftp.gmd.de. You've probably heard of that too.
There's Richard Merryman, who found me the Apple II disk image of this game years after I lost my original, and also dug the source code and data out and into a sensible format.
UPDATE: The IF Archive moved to https://ifarchive.org/. To quote the Archive itself:
In 1999, Andrew Plotkin and Paul Mazaitis brought the IF Archive to the World Wide Web at ifarchive.org. This was originally just a mirror, but when GMD was shut down in 2001, the ifarchive.org site took over as the Archive primary server.
There's only one true ending, and it occurs when you bring the gold coffin into the Round Room.
Who's RAHN? Some kid named Ron, apparently. If you type ABOUT and open the "Why Inhumane Sucks" item, part of it says:
(Let's just say that a certain friend of mine was deeply, er, moved by eighth-grade geometry class.)
Returning to the issue of endings, the "Rating" item has this to say:
Surprisingly, this game is almost merciful by the Zarfian Interactive Fiction Rating System. It is possible to get stuck, but only in one place, very early in the game. However, for reasons which will become clear, I can't promise that you'll never die....
While it is very true that the player-character dies multiple times in the game, they are always resurrected until the true ending. That death is final.
More fussy notes:
Items are listed in the order acquired in this walkthrough.
The response to SCORE is one of:
According to the status bar, you gain 10 points with every new successful death by trap for a total of 90 points, but how much does that even matter in this game?
This walkthrough was funded via Patreon with
Ko-Fi is a way to send me small one-time donations. Every little bit helps, and thank you!