Zero Zero


Zero Zero was written by Steve Meretzky and was © 1988 by Infocom, Inc. The copyright is now owned by Activision, Inc.

This object listing was compiled by David Welbourn. Note that this isn't a typical solution or walkthrough for the game, but is a list of all the relevant objects in the game, where you can expect to find them, and what you're supposed to do with them.

at:   Enchanted Cave
do:   Put the correct crystal orb on the altar. See orbs.
at:   Great Underground Mountain
do:   Wear it. Once you've put the moby ruby in the oracle's depression, enter the mouth of the oracle to travel to five other places (see oracle). The eyes tell you where you'll end up. Rub the amulet to return to Great Underground Mountain.
at:   Library
do:   Touch it three times to reveal the lance. You know this from reading the scroll.
at:   Closet
contains:   bar of food
bar of food
in:   bag at Closet
DON'T eat the food yourself; it's flamingo food and poisonous to humans.
DON'T feed it to the flamingo; you'll just get a well-fed flamingo
do:   When you're hungry — you'll be hit with a hunger spell when you steal the vial from Gumboz's Shack — turn yourself into a flamingo and then eat it. You can capture the flamingo using the wand, and transform using the booths in the Testing Room. Use the pigeon to travel quickly.
at:   Toll Plaza
do:   Put zorkmid coin in basket to open the toll gate.
bat, baseball
at:   Flathead Stadium
do:   Ask the witches at Icky Cave to remove the enchantment. When you get it, put it in the cauldron; it's Babe Flathead's club.
bat, flying
at:   Appears when Jester says "See you same bat-time, same bat channel"
note:   It's annoying, but you'll have to put up with it carrying you off. You may have to restore the game if you get stuck.
at:   Hold; see ruby
bed, canopied
at:   Dimwit's Room; ignore it
at:   appears when Jester says "Don't let the bedbugs bite!"
do:   Sing lullaby, or yawn. The bedbug will sleep, then vanish.
bell, diving
at:   Hold; see ruby
bill, 100000 zorkmid
at:   Gaming Room
do:   Wear goggles. When the Jester shuffles the shells, you'll see that the bill is in his pocket or hat or wherever. Point to the pocket (or whatever); you'll get the bill. Put the bill in the cauldron; it's J. Pierpont's.
bird, black
at:   Aerie
do:   Take both the lantern and candle to Antharia. The bird will only take one of your light sources at a time, letting you take the other one to Icky Cave. You can recover your light sources at Cliff Bottom.
block, hexagonal
at:   Smaller Hanger, after you've made Borphbelly stew.
do:   Put it in the six-sixed hole at Hollow to open an entrance to Iron Mine.
at:   Field Office
do:   Use the blueprint included with the game package to help you get the hardhat.
bomb, anti-pit
at:   Cave-In
do:   Look up Jester in the Encyclopedia; the Jester's name listed there changes from game to game. Answer the Jester with the appropriate name to get the bomb. Throw the bomb at Pits to fill up the bottomless pits.
booklet, damaged instruction
at:   Room 193-E of the FrobozzCo Building
do:   You don't need the booklet, but if you read it, you'll read the following: "...ozz Magic Homing Pi..." "...eave the perch in the location you wish t..." "...return warranty card with 90 d..."
booths (left and right)
at:   Testing Room
note:   Both booths are the same; both contain a black ominous button. If you put a creature in one booth, and push the button while in the other booth, you'll do a temporary mind-body swap with that creature. See bar of food.
at:   Great Underground Mountain
do:   Push it to open passage to Grotto and Shrine.
DON'T push it when the yacht is at East Dock, else the yacht will be destroyed.
at:   Shrine
contains:   elixir
DON'T try to take it; you can't. See elixir.
at:   Inquisition
contains:   pellet of squid repellant
do:   Take it, then take number. Then, when your number is called, do "Executioner, behead me" to escape Inquisition.
bridge, green
at:   Stream
do:   Try to cross it. The bridge will turn into the Jester, Answer "music" to his riddle and take the diploma.
at:   Casino, after you win at Double Fanucci
do:   Sweep cobwebs with it at Cell.
button, black ominous
in:   booths at Testing Room; see booths.
button, blinking key-shaped
at:   Closet, Grotto, FrobozzCo Basement, Crawl (in Antharia), Attic (in Fublio Valley), Crag (in Flathead Fjord). [6 buttons]
do:   Push them. They will stop blinking and make an animal noise. Pushing a button also removes an animal from the rebus. Push all six buttons to reveal the complete rebus. It doesn't matter in which order that the buttons are pushed.
buttons (blue, red, white, yellow, white)
at:   Yacht
do:   You'll need to wear the seaman's cap before you can use any of these buttons. Push a button to take the yacht to the corresponding colored dock: red (north), yellow (west), blue (east), and green (south). Push the white button to put the yacht in the center of the lake.
at:   Cactus Patch
do:   Ignore it, although you may try talking/listening to it after sipping some potion.
at:   Royal Zoo
contains:   snake
at:   Great Hall
DON'T bother to carry it around.
do:   Read the calendar that came with the game, since it contains vital information. To wit: Other things mentioned in the calendar may be looked up in the Encyclopedia, and the illustrations depict all 24 objects that you need to put in the cauldron.
at:   King of Dunes
do:   Ride it first to Stream, so it can drink its fill. Then ride it to the Great Underground Oasis when you need water for the witches. Be nice: ride it back to Stream on the return trip.
at:   Secret Passage
do:   Take it! It's the only reliable light source in the game. It will magically burn forever.
at:   Upper Barbican
do:   You don't need it, but you could use it by throwing it east when on the toboggan at Mirror Lake.
cap, seaman's
at:   Oubliette
do:   Answer "triplet" to the Jester's riddle.
do:   Wear it; you can't operate the yacht without it. When you're certain that you don't need to use the yacht anymore, put the cap in the cauldron. It's John Paul Flathead's cap.
at:   Banquet Hall
do:   Collect the 24 items of the Flatheads and put them in the cauldron. Then say the sacred word*. The 24 items are: *note:   The sacred word is written in Megaboz's notebook. After you say it, run out of the castle to Perimeter Wall and through the gate for the conclusion of the game.
DON'T dispose of the lantern until you're done with the witches.
DON'T dispose of the seaman's cap until you're done with the yacht.
certificate, stock
at:   Vault
do:   Put it in the cauldron; it's John D. Flathead's.
chair, comfy
at:   Torture Chamber
DON'T sit in it! You'll be so comfy, you won't be able to get up and you'll die of starvation!
chamber, water
at:   Torture Chamber
do:   Open it; the metronome may be inside it.
at:   Plain (a gigantic chessboard, actually)
do:   From your initial spot of arrival, go north, then west thrice to get to "soldier on horseback". That is, a chess knight. Use the knight to help you get the hardhat (see hardhat).
chest, treasure
at:   Outer Bailey
contains:   crown
to find it:   Stand on the stump, jump as directed by the slate, then dig with shovel.
cloak, magic
at:   Magic Clothes Closet
do:   Wear it to teleport to the Plain (which is a giant chessboard). Take off the cloak to return to the real, er, Zork world. You will always return to the spot you left.
see baseball bat
at:   Cell
do:   Sweep cobwebs with broom to reveal flask.
coin, zorkmid
at:   IRS Office
do:   Answer "bookkeeper" to the Jester's riddle to obtain the coin. Put the coin in the basket at Toll Plaza.
at:   Pyramid Room #2
note:   Where the Jester gets the clown noses from; ignore it.
in:   treasure chest at Outer Bailey
do:   Put crown in cauldron; it's Dimwit's crown.
at:   Pyramid Room #1
contains:   yellowish-green potion
at:   Stream
do:   Answer "music" to the Jester's riddle. Put the diploma in the cauldron; it's John D. Flathead's diploma.
see gondola
document, formal
see diploma
doors (left, center, and right)
at:   Room of Three Doors
do:   Read the doors. The door whose second statement is that "center door doesn't lead to Veritassi" is the door to Wishyfoo. Open that door.
at:   Entrance Hall
do:   Push it. Answer "time" to the Jester's riddle, then the porticullis opens.
Double Fanucci
at:   Casino
DON'T be alarmed. The game seems weird, random and impossible to fathom because it is.
do:   Maintain your hand with draws so you always have at least three cards.
do:   Try any type of play you like; little of it really matters.
do:   Wait for the Jester to discard a Trebled Fromps. (A fromp looks like the outline of a three-leaf clover. Trebled Fromps means the 3 of Fromps.) Then undertrump any three cards without doing any other kind of play. Some cards can't be undertrumped, but most can. Since you read the calendar, you know that three undertrumps after an opponent's discard of a Trebled Fromps is an indefensible gambit. The Jester will resign and give you a broom.
note:   The numbered cards are numbered from 0 to 9, plus infinity. The suits include Books, Bugs, Ears, Faces, Fromps, Hives, Inkblots, Lamps, Mazes, Plungers, Rain, Scythes, Time, Tops, and Zurfs. Face cards include Beauty, Death, Granola, Grue, Jester, Light, Lobster, Snail, and Time.
at:   Drawbridge
do:   Turn iron wheel at Upper Barbican to lower the drawbridge.
dumbbell, 100-ugh
at:   Weight Room
do:   Put it in the cauldron; it was Babe Flathead's. You may want to just roll it to the cauldron, but you can pick it up if you drop everything else first.
at:   Inner Bailey
do: Take it with the rooster and fox to make stew at Nice Lunch Spot. (see rooster)
DON'T leave it with the rooster or the rooster will eat it!
earwax, brogmoid
at:   Inner Ear
do:   Take it and give it to the witches at Icky Cave, after they've asked for it.
at:   Lower Ledge
do:   Put it in the cauldron; it's Leonardo Flathead's.
in:   vase at Shrine
do:   Put the gravel, more gravel, and even more gravel in the vase to raise the level of the elixir. Now you can touch it. Don't ever taste it. Touching the elixir lets you catch the Four Fantastic Flies of Famatria.
DON'T drink it with the drinking straw; you will die!
elm, oldest and mightiest
It's the tree stump at Outer Bailey. See chest.
Encyclopedia Frobozzica
at:   Library
DON'T try to take it; it's too heavy.
do:   Look up various topics in the encyclopedia. You must read about the Jester to learn his name. Note that the hole in the page shows an entry on the Jewel of Jerrimore; read about the jewel also. Other pictured entries include Dimwit, Megaboz, Flathedia, FrobozzCo World Building, Brogmoidism, Zilbeetha and the Four Fantastic Flies of Famathria. There's lots more in the book you can look up, of course, but the rest of it is more interesting than it is useful.
at:   Inquisition
do:   Take the box, then take a number. When it's your turn, type "executioner, cut off my head" or "executioner, behead me". You'll be thrown out, alive, with the box. If you brought the cloak or the pigeon in with you, you'll find them again at Fishing Village.
fan, delicate paper
at:   Hothouse, after you win a game of Snarfem
do:   Put fan in the cauldron; it's Lucrezia's.
at:   Formal Garden
DON'T feed it the bar of food. That won't help you.
do:   Point the wand at flamingo, turning it into a lawn ornament. Take the ornament and put it in one of the booths at Testing Room. Put the bar of food in the other booth. When you get hit with a hunger spell (by stealing a vial from Gumboz's Shack), quickly teleport over to the Testing Room via pigeon, enter the booth with the bar of food and push the button. This will temporarily transform yourself into a flamingo, and you can safely eat the bar of food to sate your hunger.
at:   Cell, after you've swept the cobwebs with the broom
DON'T open it! The contents are extremely poisonous, and you'll die!
do:   Put it in the cauldon; it's Lucrezia's.
note:   The flask is a magnifier; look at stuff through it.
at:   Enchanted Cave
do:   Bring the correct orb to Enchanted Cave and put it on the altar; the flower will become real. Take it and put it in the vase (at Summer Castle at Fenshire) to open an entrance to Secret Room.
DON'T dilly-dally; the flower will wilt if given enough time.
flies (large, larger, even larger, and largest)
at:   Parapet, Great Underground Savannah, in Megaboz's trunk at Attic, and River's End.
do:   Take them. You'll need to touch the elixir at Shrine first, though, before you can take them. When you have all four, give them to the toad (whose name is Otto, according to the calendar).
at:   Great Underground Woods
do:   Take it with the earthworm and rooster to make stew at Nice Lunch Spot (see rooster)
DON'T leave it with the rooster, or the fox will eat it!
fungus, ear
at:   Ear
do:   When near the fungus, drink potion from cup so you can talk to the fungus; they'll mutter amongst themselves whatever happened to Myron, Irving, Seymour, or whomever. Remember the name. Go to On Top of the World and ask the toe fungus about him. A little fungus will pop out and say, "That's me!". Take him back to Ear, where the fungus will have a family reunion, and in gratitude will open up a passage into the Inner Ear.
fungus, little
at:   On Top of the World, after you ask for him by name. See ear fungus.
fungus, toe
at:   On Top of the World. See ear fungus.
glove, magic
at:   Magic Clothes Closet
do:   Wear it to have a sensitive enough touch to open the vault door at Lowest Level.
at:   Pyramid Room #2
do:   Wear them for "x-ray vision". You'll need to wear them to beat the Jester at his shell game. You can also look inside closed opaque containers like the package at the Post Office and the box at Inquisition without opening them first.
at:   Dirigible Hanger
contains:   left button "Flatheadia", right button "Fenshire"
do:   Enter it to fly to "The Summer Castle of Fenshire" (and also to fly back again). The buttons are self-explanatory, I hope.
DON'T take the pigeon with you on a gondola trip. If the Jester turns you into an alligator, for example, when you retake the pigeon, you'll teleport and lose the use of the gondola!
gravel; more gravel; even more gravel
at:   Lowest Hall, after first, second, and third time you slide down from Grotto respectively
do:   Take all three gravel to Shrine; see elixir.
at:   Lot 61 of Rockville Estates
DON'T use it to open the walnut; the walnut will be destroyed.
hangings, wall
at:   Megaboz's Hut
do:   Read them: "Hut Sweet Hut" "Forget the Rest; Megaboz is the Best"
at:   Lot 0 of Rockville Estates
to get it:   You know the hardhat is in Lot 0 if you read the post-it note on the blueprint. To get the hardhat, you'll need to use the cloak, pigeon, perch, blueprint (in your game package), the portable passages, and a knight chessman. Place the portable passages so you can reach Lot 17, which is a knight's move from Lot 0. (For example, install the northwest-southeast passage in the northwest wall of either Lot 38 or 46, and install the north-south passage in the north wall of either Lot 22 or 15.) Put the perch in Lot 17. Now don the cloak, go to a knight chessman, drop the pigeon, and tell him to pick it up. He'll teleport to Lot 17. Follow him by taking off the cloak. Take back the pigeon, and order the knight to go north twice then west. He'll jump to Lot 0. Follow him via pigeon. He's already taken the hardhat. Manuever him and you back to Lot 17 the same way you got to Lot 0, and take the perch and hardhat.
do:   Wear the hardhat in Antharia to safely enter the Rubble Room.
in:   trunk at Attic. Ignore it.
at:   everywhere he wants to be
do:   Look up Jester in the Encyclopedia to learn his real name.
do:   Answer all his riddles, and read the scroll, slate, and funny page when he makes them available to you.
do:   When he says: "See you 'round, clown!", take the clown nose off your real nose.
do:   When he says: "See you later, alligator", you'll turn into an alligator (briefly) and drop everything. Try "undo" to negate the effect, or restore to an earlier saved game, if necessary. And it may be necessary if you've dropped the pigeon in a place you'd rather not drop it in.
do:   When he says: "See you same bat-time, same bat-channel", a large bat will carry you off. Although this might be helpful, it could also be a disaster, and again, you may wish to "undo" or "restore".
do:   When he says: "Don't let the bedbugs bite", sing a lullaby or yawn to vanquish the bedbug.
key, iron
on:   window seat at Solar
do:   Answer "y" to Jester's riddle. Unlock the door at East Hall with this key.
key, rusty
at:   Quarry, after you fulfill conditions of poem at Megaboz's Hut.
do:   Unlock trunk in Attic with this key.
key, steel
in:   rusty locker at Garrison
do:   Unlock the door at West Hall with this key.
see stepladder
at:   Library, after touching the armor thrice
do:   Put it in the cauldron; it's Stonewall Flathead's.
at:   Lower Ledge
do:   Put it in the cauldron; it's Leonardo Flathead's.
lantern, brass
at:   Pits
do:   Throw the anti-pit bomb at Pits to fill the bottomless pits, then you can take the lantern. Use it as a second light source to get past the black bird at Aerie. When you're finished with the witches, put the lantern in the cauldron; it's Thomas Alva's.
in:   fish tank at Parlour
do:   Use the wand to turn it into a nutcracker. Now you can use it to open the walnut, but only do so at the right time. See walnut.
locker, rusty
at:   Garrison
contains:   steel key and poster of Ursula Flathead.
maiden, iron
at:   Torture Chamber
do:   Open it; the metronome may be inside.
at:   Pyramid Room #3
DON'T read it! It's so boring, you'll die!
do:   Put it in the cauldron; it's Ralph Waldo Flathead's lost manuscript "On the Discoloration of Roadside Slush".
at:   Floor 4 of FrobozzCo Bldg
note:   It's a red herring; there are no teleportation tokens in the game.
in:   the iron maiden or water chamber or snake pit in the Torture Chamber. You'll hear a ticking, and have to look for the metronome.
do:   Put it in the cauldron; it's Johann Sebastian Flathead's.
at:   Mirror Lake
do:   Look at reflection of any magical object to learn their nature. You must do this with the orbs to find out which is Zilbeetha. Throw any heavy-ish object (like the cannonball or an orb) in any direction to slide in the other direction (and thus get off the lake).
model of FrobozzCo Building
at:   Chalet
do:   Put it in the cauldron; it's Frank Lloyd Flathead's.
nose, red clown
on:   your own nose, whenever the Jester says "See you 'round, clown!"
do:   Take it off; you look silly.
in:   trunk at Attic
do:   Read it: "Things to do: 1) Mail OZMOO scrolls to Gurth. 2) Cast Curse on Flatheads. 3) Pick up milk and bread." Remember the sacred word written beside the picture of a kettle.
in:   north-south passage at Passage Storage Room
do:   Read it to know how to install the passages, eg: "install passage in north wall".
see ticket
see lobster
at:   Oracle
do:   Put the moby ruby in the depression. Wear the amulet, then enter the mouth. You will teleport to one of five locations, depending on how many eyes on the amulet are open: Rub the amulet to return to Great Underground Mountain.
orbs (milky, fiery, glittery, and smoky)
at:   Orb Room
do:   Take them to Mirror Lake. Examine their reflections; one of them is Zilbeetha. Take that one and put it on the altar at Enchanted Cave. Discard the other three.
ornament, lawn
see flamingo
at:   Post Office
contains:   ceramic pigeon and ceramic perch
do:   Open it, and take the pigeon and perch. Actually, you may want to keep the pigeon inside the package, and return it there after using it (so accidental droppings aren't so problematic).
note:   mailed from room 193-E of the FrobozzCo Bldg.
see landscape
paper, funny
at:   wherever you are when Jester says "see you in the funny papers"
do:   Read it. Jester tells you to look under the oldest, longest, or other kind of slab in the Crypt. Go to the Crypt and look under the specified slab and find the Oracle.
at:   Great Hall, if you took it during the prologue sequence
do:   Read the copy in your game package, which directs you to throw two objects belonging to each of the 12 Flatheads (24 items in all) into the cauldron, then say the "sacred word". See cauldron.
passages (north-south and northwest-southeast)
at:   Passage Storage Room
do:   Use them to help get to the hardhat. See hardhat.
at:   Peggleboz Room
do:   Play peggleboz. It's not obvious how to win at all. One solution: OG. MO. LJ. UL. IK. HR. FH. PN. CF. HC. BD. FC. AE. TI. QG. SQ. EJ. IK. QG. A secret door opens north to Gaming Room.
pellet of squid repellant
in:   box at Inquisition
do:   Take it to Hold. See ruby.
pen, quill
at:   Dead End
do:   Put it in the cauldron; it's Ralph Waldo Flathead's.
perch, ceramic
in:   package at Post Office. See ceramic pigeon.
pigeon, ceramic
in:   package at Post Office
do:   Use the pigeon and perch to teleport. Drop the perch in the place you want to teleport to. Take the pigeon with you to somewhere else. When you're ready to return to the perch, drop the pigeon and pick it up. You will magically teleport back to the perch. Caution: You can't get out of the Oubliette this way. Nor can you teleport to the top of the FrobozzCo Bldg, but you can teleport down. There are several places when you'll need to teleport; the pigeon is mentioned in the appropriate entries.
DON'T take the pigeon or perch with you on the gondola ride, otherwise you risk losing the use of the gondola if you teleport away from it.
pine, ancient
at:   Quarry's Edge
note:   Its shadow is in the Quarry. Fufill the poem from Megaboz's Hut there.
pit, snake
at:   Torture Chamber
contains:   snakes
DON'T enter it.
do:   Open it. The metronome may be inside.
poster of Ursula Flathead (Miss Miznia 878 GUE)
in:   rusty locker at Garrison. Feel free to ignore it.
potion, yellowish-green
in:   cup at Pyramid Room #1
do:   Drink it at the appropriate times. The calendar tells you that Thomas Alva Flathead invented it. If you drink it, you temporarily gain the ability to talk to plants. You have 4 sips. You'll need 1 sip to listen to the ear fungus, and another sip to talk to the toe fungus (unless you quickly teleport there via pigeon). That leaves you two sips to experiment with, so you can try talking to the cactus, roots, spenseweed, trees, etc.
at:   Entrance Hall
do:   Read it. But you can't take it.
at:   Gallery
covered by:   flattened slime monster, flattened fish, flattened goose, flattened snake, flattened mouse, and flattened camel.
do:   Find the blinking key-shaped buttons scattered about the game. When you find them, push them. Each button will remove one of the flattened creatures. The uncovered rebus is backwards, and spells out the words that complete the poem in Megaboz's Hut:
"She stood in the shade of a tired pine
She held the prize of an iron mine
And all beheld that she proudly wore
A relic found in a magic store."
note:   Frobesius Fublius created the rebus; he has an entry in the encyclopedia.
at Oubliette:   answer "triplet"
at IRS Office:   answer "bookkeeper"
at Stream:   answer "music"
at Entrance Hall:   answer "time"
at Solar:   answer "y"
at:   Magic Shop
DON'T wear it until you have to. It's a ring of inepitude.
do:   Take it with the sapphire to Quarry. Then wear the ring to fulfill the conditions of the poem.
robe, wizardly
in:   trunk at Attic. Ignore it.
at:   Stable
DON'T leave it with the fox, or the fox will eat the rooster!
DON'T leave it with the earthworm, or the rooster will eat the earthworm!
do:   Take it with the earthworm and fox to Nice Lunch Spot (to make Borphbelly Stew). To get them all there safely, take the rooster there first. Come back to Marsh and bring the fox over. At Nice Lunch Spot, pick up the rooster and drop the fox. At Marsh, pick up the earthworm and drop the rooster. At Nice Lunch Spot, drop the earthworm. Now go back to Marsh and get the rooster and bring it back across. Now with all three creatures at Nice Lunch Spot, the Jester can make Borphbelly Stew!
see snake
ruby, moby
at:   Lake Bottom
to get it:   Wear the seaman's cap, and take the pellet of squid repellant with you to the yacht. Push the white button to move the yacht to the center of the lake. Go down into the hold and drop the pellet. Open the bathysphere; enter it; close it. Turn on the light. Put your hand in the hole, and take the pellet (using the waldo). Push the lever down to lower the bathysphere and wait until it reaches Lake Bottom. Drop the pellet; take the ruby. Push the lever up and wait until the bathysphere is back in the Hold. Drop the ruby. Remove your hand. Open the bathysphere. Exit. Take the ruby.
do:   Put it in the depression of the oracle to activate it.
saddle, unicorn
at:   Stable
do:   Put it in the cauldron; it was Stonewall Flathead's.
at:   Iron Mine
do:   Take it and the ring to Quarry. While holding the sapphire, wear the ring, thus fulfilling the conditions of the poem. Well, you will when you pick up the sapphire again, clumsy.
note:   Although the thing is cursed, I never noticed any obvious bad effect from it. Still, probably best not to carry it more than you strictly have to.
in:   trunk at Attic. Ignore it.
at:   Throne Room
do:   Put it in the cauldron; it's Dimwit Flathead's sceptre.
see parchment
at:   Lab
do:   Put it in the cauldron; it's Thomas Alva's.
at:   wherever the Jester gives it to you
do:   Read it. It's an anagram. Solved, it reads: ANAGRAM. ENTER LIBRARY THEN TOUCH ARMOR THRICE. So do that.
shells (left, center, and right)
at:   Gaming Room. See bill.
at:   Wishyfoo
do:   Use it to get the treasure chest. See chest.
at:   Crypt
do:   Look under the oldest, longest, dustiest, or whatever-est slab in the Crypt to find the Oracle. Read the funny paper to find out which slab.
at:   wherever you are; it's given to you by the Jester
do:   Read it. It has the directions to follow from the "oldest elm". The directions are different in each game. See chest.
in:   cage at Royal Zoo
do:   Use the wand to turn the 20-foot snake into 20-foot rope. Zip over to Upper Ledge via pigeon and tie the rope to the spire, then climb down the rope to Lower Ledge to acquire the landscape and easel. You won't be able to use the rope to climb back up, so use the pigeon or amulet to return.
at:   Hothouse
do:   Examine the flowers. Count the blooms on the left to know which pile to take pebbles from. Count the blooms on the right to know how many pebbles to take. When you win the game of Snarfem, you get a delicate paper fan as a prize.
in:   fish tank at Parlor. You can't take it; ignore it.
at:   Upper Ledge
do:   Tie rope to spire, then climb down rope to get to Lower Ledge.
on:   small lily pad at Delta
do:   Give the four flies to Otto the toad, then take the spyglass. Put it in the cauldron; it was John Paul Flathead's.
stand, conductor's
at:   Frobozz Philharmonic Hall
do:   Stand on it to get to Conductor's Pit. Stand on it again to get back to the Hall.
see starfish
in:   fish tank at Parlor
note:   Although you can use the wand to turn the starfish into a star, there's no need to do so.
at:   Secret Room
do:   Take it to Megaboz's Hut, so you can reach the trapdoor to Attic.
stew, Borphbelly
do:   Read about stew in the Encyclopedia. See rooster.
straw, drinking
at:   Scullery
DON'T drink the elixir in the vase at Shrine with it.
stump, tree
It's the "oldest and mightiest elm". See chest.
at:   Room 19-S of the FrobozzCo Building
note:   You know that this was Frank Lloyd's office if you read the calendar in your game package.
do:   Put it in the cauldron; it was Frank Lloyd Flathead's.
tank, fish
at:   Parlor
contains:   spenseweed, lobster, starfish
note:   It's way too big to take, and way too tiny to enter. Go figure.
throne, golden
at:   Audience Chamber
note:   This throne is a decoy. The one in the Throne Room is more interesting.
throne, small
at:   Throne Room
do:   Sit in it, then snap fingers. A secret passage opens to the south. You know to do this if you read the calendar in your game package.
at:   Inquisition
do:   Take it, after you've taken the box. When the number on the ticket is called, ask the executioner to behead you.
tie, silk
in:   nest at Aerie
do:   Put it in the cauldron; it's J. Pierpont Flathead's.
on:   huge lily pad at Delta
note:   His name is Otto. You know this by reading the calendar in your game package. Always address Otto by his name, not "toad".
do:   Give the four flies to Otto, then you can take the spyglass.
at:   Kennels
do:   Take it to Glacier so you can slide to Mirror Lake. Make sure that you also brought something heavy to throw (eg: cannonball) so you can get off the lake. (Also, read it: "Morgiabund". Look up Morgiabund in the encyclopedia to find out it belonged to Wm. Randolph Flathead, aka Citizen Flathead.)
torches (guttering, muttering, flickering, and bickering)
at:   Torch Room
DON'T bother taking them. Only the guttering and flickering torches give off any light, but they will go out unexpectedly at any time. Use the candle as your main light source instead.
Tower of Bozbar
at:   Jester's Quarters, when you open the louvered south door
do:   Move all the disks according to standard "Tower of Babel" rules onto your choice of the three pegs. When you do so, the Weird Passageway will change, allowing access to one of three corresponding Pyramid Rooms. Since the game begins with all the disks on the central peg, you can get to Pyramid Room #2 before moving any disks.
at:   Attic
contains:   fly, wizardly robe, notebook, saucepan, and harmonica
do:   Unlock it with the rusty key. Read the notebook. Take the fly. Ignore the rest.
at:   Great Underground Savannah. Ignore them.
at:   Ruined Hall
do:   Put flower from Enchanted Cave in it to open an entrance to Secret Room.
at:   Lowest Hall
do:   Wear glove and turn dial. The stock certificate is inside.
vial, four-gloop
at:   Gumboz's Shack
do:   Be prepared before taking it. To cancel the effect of Gumboz's hunger spell, you'll need to transform into a flamingo and eat the bar of food. See bar of food.
do:   Use this vial with the nine-gloop vial to help measure the Oasis water for the witches.
vial, nine-gloop
at:   Icky Cave, when the witches give it to you
do:   Get the four-gloop vial, then take both vials to the Great Underground Oasis (see camel). Measure out the six gloops as follows: You should now have exactly 6 gloops of water in the nine-gloop vial. Give this vial to the witches.
at:   Conductor's Pit
do:   Put it in the cauldron; it's Johann Sebastian's.
at:   Hold. It's part of the bathysphere.
DON'T attempt to force the waldo to hold the pellet or release the ruby.
do:   Enter the bathysphere, put your hand in the hole, and manipulate the waldo that way. See ruby.
walnut, unopened
at:   Root Cellar
DON'T hit it with the hammer. That destroys the walnut.
do:   Use the wand to turn the lobster into a nutcracker. At West Wing, open the walnut with the nutcracker, to reveal the walnut meat that has never been seen before. Show the walnut to the jester. Then eat the walnut, so it will never be seen again.
at:   Guest Room
do:   Examine it: "Fisha". Look up Fisha in the Encyclopedia to learn that it's a Wand of Inanimation.
do:   Point it at various creatures to turn them into useful objects. But be quick! The spell only lasts for 16 turns before it wears off. See flamingo, lobster, and snake.
note:   Not all water is the same. The camel will drink from Stream or Great Underground Oasis, but finds the water in the lake too scummy to drink. The witches want their water from the Oasis and cannot be fooled into accepting other water.
wheel, iron
at:   Upper Barbican
do:   Turn it to lower the drawbridge.
witches (prickly and sickly)
at:   Icky Cave
do:   Summon them by coughing (as per calendar in your game package).
do:   Ask them about the club.
do:   Take the nine-gloop vial and get the six gloops of water from the Great Underground Oasis for them. Then give them the brogmoid wax when they ask for that. Then they'll remove the enchantment from the baseball bat.
word, sacred
written in:   Megabox's notebook in trunk at Attic
do:   Say it after all 24 of the Flathead items are in the cauldron, then run to Perimeter Wall and out the gate!
see earthworm
at:   West Shore
do:   Get the seaman's cap first and wear it. Get on the dock, then get on the yacht. The four colored buttons move the yacht to the appropriate docks, and the white button moves the yacht to the center of the lake. But you must wear the cap before you can use the buttons. See also ruby.