Key & Compass presents:
You Are Here
by Roy Fisher

• Map
• Walkthrough
• Extras
  • Characters, Credits, Endings, Inventory, Score
• Thank You to my Patreon supporters
• Support me on Ko-Fi
• External links:
  • This game at IFDB, IFWiki, and ifwizz.
  • Tweet about this walkthrough on Twitter.

Map

Walkthrough

NOTE:

• Combat in this game is randomized. Although you may get easy wins, this is not guaranteed.
• If your character is killed, you are instantly resurrected in the temple by the altar, and all of your inventory can be picked up in the nave. Don't forget to wear your loincloth or breastplate and ready your axe. Harolde will be waiting for you at the Edge of Forest.
• If Harolde is killed in combat, he is resurrected the same way. Again, find him at the Edge of Forest.
• If you're badly wounded in battle or worse, feel free to go to the temple at any time, even in mid-battle. Ask the Sister for healing and she will fully cure you.

Guest Room

> verbose.

> x me. i. x trunk. open trunk.

> x breastplate. x loincloth. x axe.

Choose your binary gender via your clothing, either:

• > take breastplate. wear it.
• > take loincloth. wear it.

After you get dressed, an iron key falls to the floor.

> take axe. ready axe. look.

> x key. take it.

> unlock door with key. open door. e. (+2)

Landing

> x sign.

> d.

Inn Lobby

> x Belshamara. ask Bel about suite.

> w.

The Dismembered Halfling

Harolde greets you and invites you to JOIN his STONECURSE quest.

> join. (See the list of quests, most of which you can't join today.)

> join stonecurse. (+2)

Harolde thinks the imp's poem refers to the Forest of Shadows, south of town.

> w.

Kitchen

While here, you'll witness Morgana arguing with someone who isn't there. Harolde will eventually explain that she's talking to a Wizard.

> x cupboard. open it. take mug.

> ask Harolde about wizards. ask Harolde about MUD.

> ask Harolde about Morgana.

> e.

The Dismembered Halfling

> x Gordo. x menu. read menu.

> ask Harolde about jagermeister. (He warns that the drinks are deadly.)

Drinking any of the drinks is optional. For example:

> ask Gordo for jagermeister.

> take jagermeister. x it. drink it. (Not that deadly.)

When you're done sampling the booze:

> s.

Road, by tavern

> x board. x pink paper. x blue paper.

> x playbill. (Ad for Multi-User Dungeon, the theatre show.)

> e. s.

Edge of Forest

> x oak. s. (+2)

Black Forest

A manticore is attacking!

> kill manticore. g. (Repeat until it's dead and gone: +2.)

> s. e.

Mystic Pool

Princess Juniper will speak to you, but you can't really interact with her directly. Just wait until she's said everything she wants to say.

> x pool. x statue. take brochure. read it.

You gain 2 points when Juniper tells you to throw four special items into the pool: a fairy mushroom, a cupful of stone blood, a golden apple, and the Ruby of Chaos.

> s. w.

Vile Forest

> kill hydra. g. (Repeat until it's dead.)

> look. x stone. x sword. ("Viperbane")

> take sword. (It's stuck.)

You should probably visit the temple for healing. If you were killed, you'd resurrect there anyway.

> n. n. n. n. n. e.

Temple of Athena, nave

If Harolde is hurt, he will ask Sister Miriam for healing himself. Her healing will also negate the effects of alcohol.

> x Sister. ask Sister for healing.

> ask Sister about temple. ask Sister about Athena.

> e.

Temple, by altar

> x altar. x book.

> pray. ("Seek ye the faery mushrooms in a lush meadow [etc.]")

> w. w. w.

Inn Lobby

You now need a key for the other room upstairs. To get it, you'll need to first find one of the adventurers of the opposite sex and ask them about the Inn. Unfortuntely, adventurers wander, so I can't tell you exactly where they'll be. Hopefully, they'll be near or in the inn.

(Also, it's unfortunate that heteronormativity is the rule here, but that's a discussion for another day.)

If playing as male, find Morgana:

• > ask Morgana about inn.

Else if playing as female, find Draxx:

• > ask Draxx about inn.

You just need their agreement, not the person themself. Now return here to the Inn Lobby to talk to Bel:

> ask Bel about key. (+2)

> x golden key.

> u.

Landing

> unlock suite with golden key.

> open suite. e. (+2)

Opulent Suite

> take oil. x it. ("rub the oil on weapon")

> x sign. x mirror. x bear. x purple. x burgundy. x bucket.

Return to the sword in the stone:

> w. d. e. s. s. s. s. s.

Vile Forest

> rub oil on sword. take sword. (+2. The stone starts bleeding!)

> fill mug with blood. (+2)

> s.

Cliffside

You don't need to kill the minotaur, but it's a monster and it's experience, eh?

> kill minotaur. g. (Repeat until it's dead.)

> n. w.

Clearing

> kill serpent. g. (Repeat until it's dead and gone: +2)

> take apple. (+2)

> n.

Meadow

> x ring. take mushroom. (+2)

> s. s.

Ruined Archway

> x girl. x archway. x symbol. (symbol of chaos)

> s. (A wall of force blocks you.)

> kiss girl. (She says she's Tulip and now yours forever.)

> s. (+2)

Ancient Shrine

> x cage. x ruby. x carvings.

> ask Tulip about ruby. ask Tulip about shrine.

> ask Tulip about chaos. ask Tulip about cage.

> ask tulip about order. ask tulip about Athena.

> ask tulip about marriage.

> open cage. (There's no door.)

> lift cage. (Tulip stops you.)

Tulip is very annoying. While Tulip's with you, she interferes with your combat and she won't let you take the ruby. Or let you take anything else! If you really can't stand to be encumbered with Tulip, you can take her to the Temple of Athena, where Tulip will be so disgusted, she'll return to the archway as if you'd never kissed her.

Unfortunately, kissing Tulip is the only way to remove the barrier into the Shrine, so you must find another way to get rid of her, and that's by taking her to the Changeling that hides in the Black Copse.

> n. n. n. e. e. n.

Black Copse

If you stay here too long, the Changeling appears and attacks!

CAUTION: It is a mistake to attack the Changeling directly unless Tulip is there. If the Changeling is defeated, it won't respawn, and you won't be able to finish your quest. However, you can't just stand idly either. You must attack at least once, and your attack must land in order for the Changeling to assume your shape, and this will be enough to get Tulip to react to it as well.

> z. (Repeat waiting until a creature appears.)

> kill creature. g. (Repeat, if necessary, until Tulip latches onto it, and both are gone. +2)

Head back to the shrine:

> s. s. w. w. s. s.

Ancient Shrine

> lift cage. take ruby. (+2)

Finally, back to the pool:

> n. n. n. e. e.

Mystic Pool

> put apple in pool. (+2)

> pour mug in pool. (+2)

> put mushroom in pool (+2)

> put ruby in pool. (+4)

Cyrando and Juniper discover they're siblings and leave. A Quest imp gives you a certificate.

*** You have won ***

Note that this walkthrough was written with the aim of having the player-character solve all the puzzles and gain a high score, but you might want to briefly play again with a different goal: to talk to everyone about different topics, and overhearing other people's conversations. This might give you a better idea of what the play is about.

Extras

Characters

• Belshamara ("Bel") is the Inn of the Seven Shields' gnomish receptionist. She's in the lobby.
• Gordo Ankelsmasher is the Dismembered Halfing's dwarven barkeep.
• Harolde the Ranger is a male adventurer in the The Dismembered Halfling. He wants you to join his Stonecurse quest. If you do so, he becomes your companion.
• Morgana the Amazon is a female adventurer, but she wants to be a Wizard. She's initially in the Kitchen.
• Kendra, Warrior Priestess is a wandering female adventurer.
• Draxx the Swashbuckler is a wandering male adventurer.
• Sir Lancelot the Chased is a wandering male adventurer.
• Sister Miriam is in the Temple of Athena. Ask her for healing if you are ever injured or drunk.
• Tulip is a little girl at the Ruined Archway. She is an agent of Chaos. Kissing her has two effects: one, you can now enter the Shrine; two, she hangs onto your arm, interfering with your battles. If you take her to the Temple of Athena, she'll leave you and return to the Runied Archway as if you'd never kissed her.
• Princess Juniper speaks to you from the Mystic Pool.
• Prince Cyrando is the petrified statue beside the Mystic Pool.
• A tiny Quest Administration imp appears when you attempt to join a quest. Possibly this is the same imp that awards you with a certificate at the end.
• A tiny tourist imp blocks your way into the swamps, to the Blasted Plains, and to Gryphon's Spine.
• An imp from the Moral Majority tells you that profanity isn't tolerated in Apocralon.

Monsters:

• A Manticore is in the Black Forest. Kill it!
• A Golden Serpent is in the Clearing. Kill it!
• A Baby Hydra is in the Vile Forest. Kill it!
• A Forest Minotaur is at Cliffside. Kill it!
• A Changeling is in the Black Copse. Attack it only when Tulip is with you.

Mentioned:

• Bilbo has a note addressed to him on the pink paper on the bulletin board.
• Sir Benedict the Discreet wrote the blue paper on the bulletin board.
• Trina Davies, the play's author, is mentioned on the playbill on the bulletin board.
• H'sithrak, lizard goddess of the Shakra, rules the swamps to the north.
• Athena, a goddess, has a temple devoted to her.
• Waxmuh, goddess of inexpeience, has her symbol on the book of prayers.
• Habsolong Groincapper is named as the inventor of the weapon oil.

Credits

From the response to CREDITS:

The following is a series of miscellaneous acknowledgements and legal ramblings.

YOU ARE HERE

Written and designed by Roy Fisher (email redacted). Selected characters, settings, and dialogue based on the "MultiUserDungeon" theatre production (c) 2001 by Trina Davies.

This game was written in the adventure-creation language of Inform, itself the brainchild of Graham Nelson. It also uses the libraries listed below. Everyone listed deserves applause for making it easier for bums like me to create IF.

• Standard Inform Library, release 6/10 (Graham Nelson)
• NPC_Engine.h (Volker Lanz)
• NPC_Wait.h (Volker Lanz/L. Ross Raszewski/Nicholas Daley)
• SmartCantGo.h v5 (David Wagner/Roger Firth)

Visit the Interactive Fiction archive at ftp://ftp.gmd.de/if-archive/ http://ifarchive.org/ for Inform compilers, Inform libraries, and other text adventure goodness.

For at least the rest of 2001, you can play the latest version of You Are Here on the MultiUserDungeon play's web site (www.multiuserdungeon.ca). This is made possible by Zplet, a java-based Z-Machine emulator (see http://www.pond.com/~russotto/zplet/ifol.html http://www.russotto.net/zplet/ifol.html). Thanks to Matthew T. Russotto for generously letting us use it!

Comments, beta tests, and suggestions that kept me up all night came from Jason Bartlett, Clinton Carew, Chris Davies, Trina Davies, Christopher Thrall, and Harvey the Six-Foot Invisible Grue. The countless bugs, errors, and design flaws left undealt with are entirely my fault.

This game is copyright (c) 2001, but is freely distributable. If you've downloaded it, pass it on to anyone you know. If you're playing it on the web, give your friends the URL. And come to Edmonton to see MultiUserDungeon!

Where available, I've replaced obsolete webpage addresses with current ones.

Endings

• You have won
• if you finish the Stonecurse quest.

Note that you really can't lose in this game. If your character dies in combat, you're instantly resurrected at the temple. You wake up by the altar, and all your inventory will be in the nave.

Drinking to excess doesn't seem to be something to worry about either. Regardless, if you ask the sister for healing, any drunkness you might feel is healed as well as any physical injures.

However, I did get a stack overflow when I asked Draxx about the Inn, when I was playing as female and not wearing the breastplate.

It is also possible to make the game unwinnable if you kill the Changeling in normal combat, making the creature unavailable to deal with Tulip later.

Inventory

• a Valkyrie breastplate. It's in the trunk in your Guest Room.
• Wear it if you want to play as a female character.
• a Barbarian loincloth. It's in the trunk in your Guest Room.
• Wear if if you want to play as a male character.
• a hand axe. It's in the trunk in your Guest Room.
• Take it and ready it. This axe is your initial weapon that you'll use in combat.
• an iron key. It appears in the Guest Room when you wear either the breastplate or the loincloth.
• The iron key unlocks (and locks) the guest room door.
• a wooden mug. It's in the inn's kitchen cupboard.
• In the Vile Forest, fill the mug with the blood (after taking the sword from the stone).
• Put the mug of blood in the Mystic Pool.
• a stein of BOOZE. Acquire it at The Dismembered Halfling by asking Godor for an item listed on the menu.
• If you drink it, your combat ability will be impaired. Visit Sister Miriam in the nave and ask about healing to cure your drunkenness. The five possible drinks are: a stein of dwarvish beer, a stein of elvish ale, a stein of honey mead, a stein of rose wine, and a stein of jagermeister.
• a Pan-Apocralon Elite Penpal Club brochure. It's at the Mystic Pool.
• Read it, then ignore it. It's an ad for a penpal club.
• a golden apple. It's in the Clearing but you'll have to defeat the golden serpent there first.
• Put the apple in the Mystic Pool.
• a plucked mushroom. There's a fairy ring of mushrooms in the Meadow; take one.
• Put the mushroom in the Mystic Pool.
• a golden key. If playing as male, ask Morgana about the inn; otherwise, ask Draxx about the inn. Then, in the Inn Lobby, ask Bel about the key to obtain the golden key.
• The golden key unlocks the door to the Opulent Suite, east of the Landing.
• a bottle of weapon oil. It's in the Opulent Suite.
• Rub the oil on the sword in the Vile Forest, then take the sword.
• Note that you may oil the sword or the axe simply to make the weapon sharper, but the oil's effect wears off so quickly, it's not worth the effort.
• a bronze sword (sometimes described as gleaming or dull). It's in a stone in the Vile Forest.
• To loosen it, rub oil on the sword; now you can take it.
• Surprisingly, you don't need to do anything with the sword once you have it. The stone it was in starts bleeding when you take the sword, and the blood is what you really want.
• a quantity of blood. The stone in the Vile Forest starts bleeding when you take the sword. Fill the mug with blood.
• Pour the mug of blood into the Mystic Pool.
• the Ruby of Chaos. It's under the cage in the Ancient Shrine, but you'll have to get rid of Tulip first.
• Lift the cage, then take the ruby.
• Put the ruby in the Mystic Pool.

Score

The response to SCORE is:

You have so far scored your-score out of a possible 40, in several turns, earning you the rank of ranking.

Points are awarded as follows:

• 2 points for entering the Landing.
• 2 points for joining the Stonecurse quest.
• 2 points for entering the Black Forest.
• 2 points for defeating the manticore.
• 2 points for listening fully to Princess Juniper.
• 2 points for obtaining a faery mushroom.
• 2 points for defeating the serpent.
• 2 points for obtaining a golden apple.
• 2 points for entering the Ancient Shrine.
• 2 points for obtaining the golden key.
• 2 points for entering the Opulent Suite.
• 2 points for obtaining the bronze sword.
• 2 points for obtaining some blood from a stone.
• 2 points for tricking Tulip with the Changeling.
• 2 points for obtaining the Ruby of Chaos.
• 2 points for putting the apple in the pool.
• 2 points for putting the blood in the pool.
• 2 points for putting the mushroom in the pool.
• 2 points for putting the ruby in the pool.
• 2 points for completing the Stonecurse quest.

The possible rankings are:

• Newbie. (0 to 8 points)
• Tourist. (10 to 18 points)
• Voyeur. (20 to 28 points)
• Guest. (30 to 36 points)
• Accredited Adventurer. (40 points)

Thank You to my Patreon supporters

This walkthrough was funded via Patreon with

• the support of Robin Johnson, Ville Lavonius, Andrew Schultz, Kenneth Hon, Carl Muckenhoupt, Mark Musante, and Phil Tatro;
• the generous support of Janice M Eisen and Matthew Foxley;
• the very generous support of Karl Ove Hufthammer;
• the extremely generous support of Emily Short, Allen Garvin, Jesse McGrew, Jacqueline Ashwell, Marius Müller, Jennifer Rexrode, Durafen, and Rus Whang;
• and the invisible support of several anonymous patrons.

Ko-Fi is a way to send me small one-time donations. Every little bit helps, and thank you!