In this old-school-style scavenger hunt, you play as a Harvard student about to graduate. But to graduate, you must find everything listed on a memo and hand them over to the Senior tutor in the middle courtyard. You begin in your college dorm in Winthrop House that you share with your roommate, the psycho mathematician.
This solution is by David Welbourn, and is based on Version 2.2 of the game.
SPOILERS AHEAD. Reading a walkthrough prematurely can sometimes diminish one's enjoyment of an interactive fiction game. Please make an honest effort to play the game before reading this walkthrough.
When you unlock the correct door in "Locks Can Be Deceiving", the location is renamed to "I Guess The Locks Weren't That Deceiving".
Walkthrough
Enter your gender:
> M —or— F.
>> ENTER
Winthrop G-43
There's nine items in this room you can acquire, but you don't need the bra.
Also this game prefers that you LOOK UNDER and LOOK BEHIND things instead of SEARCH-ing them.
> x me. i.(empty-handed)
> x desk.
> x Iliad. read it.
> x Essentials. read it.
> x Shakespeare. read it. take it.
> x Neurosurgery. read it.(+5; got a large key)
> i. x ADS key.(gothic)
> take Neurosurgery.
> open pencil drawer. x stamp. take it.(+5)
> open large drawer. x film. take it.(+5)
> x stereo. x tape deck. x CD player.
> search couch.(how, exactly?)
> look under couch.
> x dust. x balls. take balls.(+5)
> x bra. take bra. wear bra.
> x fireplace. x bricks. x chair.
> look behind chair. x napalm. take it.(+5)
> x guitar. take it. play it.
> look through frosty window.
> look through clear window.
> s.(You bump into your roommate, who now follows you.)
G43 Hallway
Your roommate has the same gender as you.
CAUTION: Don't give the napalm to your roommate; you won't get it back.
> x roommate.(They have only three interests: math, juggling, and alcohol.)
> ask roommate about napalm.
> ask roommate about balls.
> give balls to roommate.(+5; they drop something.)
> look. take pick. x it. read it.("YALE")
> w.
Bathroom
> x toilet. x sink. x tub.
> x friend. wake friend. shout.
> kiss friend.(also doesn't wake him)
> turn on shower.(Your friend is now awake, but he closes the curtain and starts a long shower.)
> x cabinet. open it. x Tylenol. take Tylenol.
> e. e.
Roommate's room
> x bed. x junk. x lifeforms. x clothing.
> x desk. x clutter.
> look in clutter. x lighter. take it.(+5)
> w. ne.
Your room
> x bed. move cover.(+5; got Harvard ID)
> x ID. x strip.
> x dresser. open it.(can't)
> x board. x memo. take it.
> sw. s. d. w.
Middle Courtyard, Winthrop House
When you eventually get to the art museum, it becomes clear that item number 8 on the memo must refer to a painting you need to steal. Ask the tutor about painting to learn which painting he wants.
> x tutor.
> ask tutor about painting.(He wants a Monet.)
> x snow. spray napalm on snow.
> light snow.(+10, using lighter; you acquire a mail key)
> x mail key.("43")
> n.(no: Tutor blocks you.)
> s.(no: gate is frozen and rusted shut)
> w.(no: locked)
> e. e.
Gore Courtyard
> look through windows.
> x swing. x rope. x tree.
> get on tire. swing. stand.
> climb tree.(can't)
> climb rope.(The knot is 80 feet up.)
> untie rope.(You untie it from both the tree and the tire.)
> take rope.
> n.
H Entry
> x mailboxes.
> unlock mailbox with mail key. open mailbox.
> take form. read it.
> open dining hall door.(locked)
> open entry door.(locked)
> s. w.
G Entry
By this time, I expect your best friend has finished his shower, found you, and is now following you.
> x friend.
> ask friend about me.(His head hurts too much from his hangover.)
> give Tylenol to friend.(He's much better now.)
Now that your friend is clear-headed, feel free to ask him about anything. He's easily the most chatty character in the game.
> ask friend about me.
> ask friend about tutor.(Get all the things on the memo first.)
> ask friend about Iliad.(He has it memorized.)
> ask friend about guitar.(He plays bass.)
> ask friend about ADS key.(ancient symbol for a bookbinder; one symbol might mean danger)
Note: You don't UNLOCK anything with the lock pick; you must PICK locks instead.
> open door.(locked)
> pick lock.(success)
> s.
Owen Room / In the dark
> x chairs. x bookcase.
> x plate. look through window.
> open plate. x box.
If you push the button, nothing happens if the box is open, but there's whirring for 30 seconds if the box is closed. Is it a microwave oven? No, it's a dumbwaiter.
> enter box. close plate.
> roommate, push button.(+25)
In the dark / Winthrop House Kitchen
> open plate. out.
You accidentally break the plate when you get out, making the dumbwaiter unusable now.
> x grills. x bins. x roaches.
> x dark corner.(sliver of light from northwest)
Before going northwest from here, return to your friend so he comes with you.
> unlock door. e.
Winthrop House Dining Hall
> unlock door. e.
H Entry
Your roommate is here, says you don't need them any longer, then disappears into the kitchen.
> s. w. s.
Owen Room
Your best friend congratulates you on your dumbwaiter trick. He's now following you again.
And, if he's not here, wait for him to find you.
> n. e. n. w. w. nw.
Food Tunnel (near Winthrop kitchen)
> w. w.
Food Tunnel (west end)
If you try going north, a rat pecks your nose. There's nothing for you that way.
> w.
Eliot House Dining Hall
> listen.(music from under a table)
> look under tables. take Walkman.(+5)
> x it. push stop. push eject.(no: tape stuck)
> push backward. push play.(The music plays backwards.)
> z. z.
The Walkman stops playing, the PLAY button springs back, and the tape rewinds to the start.
> push forward.
> n. n.
Kirkland House Gym
> take mask. x it. x nozzle.
> smell. x weights. x machines.
> s. s. e. s. s. u.
Dillon Field House, Locker Room
> x lockers.(all locked with combination locks)
> s.
Dillon Field House, Balcony
The tank is an oxygen tank, and it's nearly empty, so don't waste it. You can't attach the mask directly to the tank; you need tubing.
CAUTION: Going south from here is fatal. You cannot tie the rope to the railing only because you're not meant to ever go down from here.
> x tank. take it. x railing.
> x stadium. x outdoor track. x facility.
Find the next place in the tunnels:
> n. d. n. n. e. e. e. n.
Lowell House Library
> x Legends.(All students must pass a swim test before graduation. A slip of paper falls out.)
> take slip. read it.(Ogres like leather-bound books about darker sciences.)
> ask friend about ogre.(Must be the bookbinder symbolized on the ADS key.)
> s. e. e. s.
Leverett House Kitchen
> x mailbox. x rabbits.
Come back here later.
> n. e. se.
Dunster House, Kitchen?
> x desks.(+5; you acquire a yardstick)
> x yardstick.(numbers worn off)
> nw. ne.
Mather House Kitchen
> x vaseline. take it.(no)open it.(can't)
> x chaps. take it.(no: doesn't fit)
> x tubing. take it.
> sw. w. n.
Food Tunnel (at oily ladder)
> x ladder. x oil.
> climb ladder.(no: too slippery)
> n.
Quincy House Kitchen
> x comic. read comic.
> d. s.
Quincy Tower South
> x rack. x steps.
> n.
Quincy Tower
There's now a mad wizard here. If you don't give him what he wants, he follows you, at least as far south as the crossroads in the tunnel.
> x wizard.
> ask wizard about neurosurgery.
> give neurosurgery to wizard.(+10; he gives you surgical gloves in exchange.)
> x gloves.(very sticky)
Several turns later, the wizard will appear in front of you, wherever you are, and give you a scalpel that can cut through anything. Then he vanishes again. Just so you know.
> d. n. e.
Adams House Swimming Pool
> x pool. smell.
> swim.(You get tickets.)
> x tickets.
> w. n. n.
Harvard Yard
> w. x door.(locked)
> pick door.(success)
> w.
The Office of The President of Harvard University
> x mounds.(+5; you spot 50 loose dollars)
> take 50. x it.
> e. ne.
The Statue of Three Lies
> x statue.
> look behind statue. take register.(+5)
> sw. s. e.
Food Tunnel (at steel door)
There's a lot behind this door, but you're not ready for it yet.
> x door. x slot.(2 and 1/4 inches in width)
> e.
The Freshman Union
> x butter.
> w.(no: gate closed)
> x library. x Moore. x sign.
> e —or— s.(You wander and return.)
> n.
The Fogg Art Museum
> x Rembrandt. x Manet. x Monet. x Gogh.
> x plants. x arras.(covers part of west wall)
> x posts. x bust. g. g. g.
> look behind arras.(tunnel found)
> w.(You slam into a locked door.)
CAUTION: You can take any of the four paintings, but if you try to carry it through the posts, you're arrested. Leave the paintings where they are for now.
> s. d. w. s. w.
Food Tunnel (debris-filled, east end)
> x debris. look under debris.(maggots!)
> w.
Food Tunnel (tons of debris)
> look under debris.(+10; acquired camera)
> x camera. put film in it.
> w. w. w. u. n.
Quad
+10. You acquire a frisbee.
> x frisbee.(There's a randomized word or phrase in Gothic letters and a cryptic message beginning with the word "Try". Both are randomized.)
> x students.(They're waiting for you to do something.)
One of the random things your friend says is about wanting to play guitar in the Quad. That was a clue.
> play guitar.(+10. A student takes the guitar and gives you a pendant in exchange.)
> i. x pendant.(purple and yellow Jester)
Oh, while you're outside, take a picture of yourself with that camera.
> point camera at me. push grey button.
> w.
North House, Basement
> x bin.(which?)
> x developer.("60 seconds")
> x stopper.("30 seconds")
> x fixer.("30 seconds")
All the bins are empty, but remember those times. That's how long the film needs to soak in each of those chemicals to turn the film into a photo.
> s.
Currier House, Basement
> x phone.(It starts ringing.)
> answer phone.(er, what?)
Head back to the Leverett House Kitchen:
> ne. d. e. e. e. e. e. s. s. s. s.
Leverett House Kitchen
> put stamp on form. put 50 on form.
> put form in mailbox.(+30)
Head back to H Entry:
> n. w. w. w. s. e. e.
H Entry
While your inventory limit is generous, you may need to drop some things before going any further.
> drop napalm, lighter, slip, mail key.
> open mailbox. take thesis. x it.(unbound)
> read it.
Return to the oily ladder.
> w. w. nw. e. e. e. n.
Food Tunnel (at oily ladder)
> wear gloves. climb ladder.
At the Top of the Ladder, Below the Trap Door
This is a temporary location. When the oil is turned off, this location goes away.
> x trap door.
> open door.(no: need both hands free)
> tie rope to me. tie rope to ladder.
> open door.(+15)
> untie rope.(It falls to the floor below.)
> u.(+30)
The Harvard Lampoon Castle
> x faucet. turn it. d.
Food Tunnel (near ladder)
> drop gloves. take rope. u. e.
Lost in One of those Infernal Mazes
This is another temporary location. After you get to the other side, this location is no longer around.
> e.(repeat until...)
Not Really A Maze After All
> s.
Bored Room
> x small.(large bird drowning in lake; ink blot squeezed through a strainer)
> look behind it.(+5. You acquire a Scorpion Bowl.)
> x bowl.
> x large tapestry.(Hamlet scene)
> look behind it. x Polonius.(dead)
> n. n.
Sanctum
> x chandelier. x tiling.
> x small arras.(of beheading)
> x large arras.(of drunk Jester)
> x pieces.
> look behind small.(a wall)
> look behind large.(a door)
> x door. put jester in hole.(+15; the door is unlocked)
> e.
The Fogg Art Museum
> take Monet. w. s. w. d.
Food Tunnel (at ladder)
You have four of the seven things you need for the tutor, and one of them is a stolen painting. Deliver them before continuing. Reducing inventory is a good idea.
> s. w. w. w. s.
> e. e. s. w. w.
Middle Courtyard, Winthrop House
> give bowl to tutor.(6 more to go)
> give tickets to tutor.(5 more to go)
> give Monet to tutor.(4 more to go)
> give register to tutor.(3 more to go)
Head back to that steel door in the tunnels:
> e. e. n. w. w. nw.
> e. e. e. n. n. n. n. e.
Food Tunnel (at steel door)
> put ID in slot.(+10)
> s.
The Stacks of Widener Library
> e.
Stacks of Widener Library, Following the Blue Line
If there's something special you can do with the nothing in the corner, I failed to discover it.
> x nothing. x corner.
> s.
Stacks of Widener Library, Following the Blue Line (at eastern branch)
> e.
Locks Can Be Deceiving / I Guess The Locks Weren't That Deceiving
> x door.(has five deadbolt locks, and used by someone heavy)
The frisbee's message is your clue for unlocking this door. It says something like "Try XTH YTH" or "Try XTH YTH ZTH"; those are the handles to turn:
> x frisbee.
> turn XTH.
> turn YTH.
> turn ZTH.(if applicable)
There's no special noise when you get it right.
> open door(+15; the door vanishes)
> e.
Antechamber
> x water.
> look in water.(Your reflection is absent.)
> x redwood door. x redwood walkway.
> x green door. x yellow road.
> x silver door. x silver path.
> x granite door. x granite trail.
> x glass door. x glass track.
> ask friend about yellow road.(LOOKING won't help.)
One of the floor parts has a dip in it from heavy traffic which can be detected by putting the yardstick on it.
> put yardstick on walkway.
> put yardstick on road.
> put yardstick on path.
> put yardstick on trail.
> put yardstick on track.
The floor that dips is the one that leads to the correct door.
if walkway dipped:>open redwood door.(+15)
if road dipped:>open green door.(+15)
if path dipped:>open silver door.(+15)
if trail dipped:>open granite door.(+15)
if track dipped:>open glass door.(+15)
You automatically enter the door.
Dim Tunnel
> x door. unlock door with ADS key. drop ADS key.
> open door. e.
The Abe D. Stone Library of the Darker Sciences
CAUTION: If you don't act quickly enough, the ogre loses his patience with you and kills you with his axe.
> give thesis to ogre.(He wants proof that you're a true Harvardian.)
The ID doesn't count as proof. You must say the frisbee's Gothic word or phrase to the ogre as a command.
> x frisbee.
> ogre, GOTHIC-PHRASE(+15; he binds your thesis for you)
Now that Krogre is relaxed, feel free to look around if you like. Don't bother trying to chat with him though.
> x thesis. x ogre. x books. x ceiling. x machine.
> w. w. w. w.
Stacks of Widener Library, Following the Blue Line (at east branch)
> s. w. w. n.
Stacks of Widener Library, Following the Red Line (at magic books)
> x crystal. take it.
> s. e. e. s.
A Dark Room
This room is naturally dark. While the crystal is here, glowing red, you can see the shelf, the timer, and the bins of chemicals. Develop your photo here.
> drop crystal.
> x bin. x developer. x stopper. x fixer.
> x timer. x red button.
SAVE before taking the film out of the camera. This sequence is extremely finnicky, and if you get it wrong, the film is ruined and the game becomes unwinnable.
Do you remember the bins in the North House basement? You need to put the film in the developer for 60 seconds exactly, the stopper for 30 seconds exactly, and the fixer for 30 seconds exactly.
You must use the timer. And you must always start the timer from 0 for each chemical. You cannot trust that every turn is 10 seconds if you don't put the film into a bin immediately after starting the timer.
For every chemical, push the timer button, put the film in the appropriate bin, then examine the timer every turn. When the timer reaches the desired soak time, take the film. Then wait for the timer to reset itself.
When the timer reaches 180 seconds, it stops, resets itself to 0, and the timer button pops up. I failed to find any command to stop or reset the clock any sooner.
Oh, and say "push timer button" in full, please. "Timer" by itself refers to the clock. There are other buttons on the Walkman. There are other red things like the crystal. Yes, this is all very annoying, but precision is required here, okay?
> save.
> take film.(from camera)
Developer for 60 seconds:
> push timer button. put film in developer.
> x timer.(repeat until the clock is passing 60 seconds)
> take film.
> z.(repeat until the timer button pops up)
Stopper for 30 seconds:
> push timer button. put film in stopper.
> x timer.(repeat until the clock is passing 30 seconds)
> take film.
> z.(repeat until the timer button pops up)
Fixer for 30 seconds:
> push timer button. put film in fixer.
> x timer.(repeat until the clock is passing 30 seconds)
> take film.(+40; you have a photo)
> x picture. drop camera.
Leave the crystal here. There are force fields in the library that prevent you from taking it anywhere else that's interesting.
> n. n. n. w. d.
Stacks of Widener Library, Following the Green Line (at copier and door)
You can't use the copier; you have no credit on your ID card.
> x copier. x slot.(57 mm wide)
> x panel.("Ready. Insert Verification Card Please.")
> x door. unlock door.(No key needed on this side!)
> w.
Inner Courtyard of Widener Library
Not much to see here. But imagine you needed to come down to here from above; that door is the only way out. So keep it unlocked.
> x grass.
> e.
Stacks of Widener Library, Following the Green Line (at copier and door)
> close door.(No need to advertise it's unlocked.)
> s.
Stacks of Widener Library, Following the Green Line (ornate lobby)
> x columns. x cases. x staircase.
> u.
Hallway Outside of the Gutenberg Bible Display Room
> x columns. x glass. x bible.
> x keypad.(digits 0 through 9)
> s.
Hallway Outside of the Gutenberg Bible Display Room
> z.(Repeat waiting until you hear whistling approaching.)
> push forward. push record.
You see a guard arrive and hear him punch in a 7-digit number on the keypad. He goes north past the glass wall. (The guard does this every ten turns if you care to wait for him again.)
> n.
Hallway Outside of the Gutenberg Bible Display Room
> z.(The Walkman stops recording and rewinds.)
> push play.(+15)
The glass wall opens in respond to the beeping sounds, and you step into...
Gutenberg Bible Room
> cut case with scalpel.(+10)
CAUTION 1: Taking the Bible without doing the Indiana Jones manuever (using the Shakespeare book as the substitute weight) results in jail time and losing the game.
CAUTION 2: They saw the movie too. When you do the switcheroo, concrete walls descend around you and the air is pumped out.
Therefore, you need to make sure you're breathing your own supply of oxygen when you make the switch. And the only way you could possibly know this ahead of time is because you died in a previous attempt. Learning-by-dying was still okay in 1995.
> wear mask.
> connect tubing to tank.
> connect tubing to mask.
> open valve.
> put Shakespeare on pedestal.(+10)
You now have the Bible, and your friend is holding his breath, but there's no exit! The Walkman got you in here; the Walkman can get you out. Just put the silly thing in reverse.
> push backward. push play.(+15; A ramp to the north is revealed.)
> n.
The Roof of Widener Library
> tie rope to pole.
Your friend suggests handing the Bible over to him. Do it! The Bible is heavy, and you'll fall to your death if you try to climb down the rope with it.
He, of course, has no problem.
> give Bible to friend.
> d.
Inner Courtyard of Widener Library
Your friend hands the Bible back to you.
> e.
Stacks of Widener Library, Following the Green Line (at copier and door)
> close door. lock it.
Head all the way back to the middle courtyard:
> u. n.
> w. s. s. s. s.
> w. w. w. s.
> e. e. s. w. w.
Middle Courtyard, Winthrop House
> give thesis to tutor.(2 more to go)
> give picture to tutor.(1 more to go.)
> give bible to tutor.(+24 for last requirement)
The Senior tutor gives you a diploma, unlocks the north gate, takes his loot into Winthrop House, and locks the door behind him. You can no longer go back east.
> x diploma.
> n.
Outside Winthrop House
The gate closes and locks behind you. Your friend was still on the other side. He congratulates you and leaves.
> n.
Corner of Mount Auburn and Holyoke
> n —or— w.(you stroll about and return)
> e.
Outside the Harvard Lampoon Castle
> x castle. open door. s.
The Harvard Lampoon Castle
The hole down is nailed shut.
> e. n.
Sanctum
> e.(+1)
***** Thus ends "VERTIAS" *****
The game says your adventures continue in "Club Med" by Grant H. Shumaker and James T. Reese, but that game isn't listed on IFDB, nor found in the IF Archive.
Extras
Characters
Main characters
Your roommate runs into you when you first leave the common room. Their gender matches yours, and they're a psycho mathematician who likes juggling and alcohol.
Your best friend is naked and fast asleep in your bathtub. You friend is always male. What happened at your party last night?
The Senior Tutor is in Winthrop House's middle courtyard, blocking the gate leading north. Give him everything he wants for you to graduate.
A mad wizard wearing surgical scrubs meets you in Quincy House.
An ogre named Krogre rules the Abe D. Stone Library of the Darker Sciences. He has a machine that can bind your thesis and a battle-axe that can chop you in half.
A group of students in the Quad are just sitting there, waiting for you to speak or something.
Cameos
A large, athletic man gives you two tickets to the Harvard-Yale Game after you swim a length in the Adams House swimming pool.
A whistling security guard casually types in a seven-digit code on the keypad outside the Gutenberg Bible room and walks in while the thick glass wall is briefly raised.
A gravelly voice on the Currier House's phone asks, "Want some action, man?" but hangs up before you can frame a response.
8 security guards tackle you, the Ad Board puts you on probation, and Hare Krishnas let you sing with them if you're caught stealing a painting from the museum.
Cops grab you, and Bubba in the State Pen does you in if you return to the Bible room after stealing it.
Police arrest you, and eventually one of Charles Manson's followers stabs you if you end up trapped with the Bible in the Widener courtyard.
Background characters
Some people are playing football on a snowy quadrangle (as seen through a window in your dorm).
Everyone in the Lowell House Library is studying. The place is packed.
A couple is overheard making passionate sounds in the Widener Library.
Critters
New lifeforms of the microbial variety dot your roommate's bed. They reek so much.
Cockroaches crawl through cracks in the Winthrop House kitchen's food storage bin doors.
A large rat pecks you on the nose if you poke your head through its hole in the food tunnel.
Two dozen rabbits mill about the Leverett House Kitchen.
Maggots can be found under the rotting debris in the food tunnel.
A dragon almost burns you if you attempt to screw the mad wizard.
A slathering beast bites you if you open the wrong door in the antechamber.
Found dead
Polonius is found quite dead behind a large tapestry in the Harvard Lampoon castle that depicts a scene from Hamlet.
Mentioned
Your parents gave you the ugly couch in your dorm.
The President of Harvard has an office filled with mounds of money.
John Harvard, the not-actual founder of the College, is represented by a statue of someone else.
William Randolph Hearst donated the funds for building the Harvard Lampoon Castle.
Harry Elkins Widener drowned while aboard the Titanic.
Gutenberg printed the Gutenberg Bible, of course.
Abe D. Stone got a library named after him. Presumably all the other buildings are also named after people, but Abe is the only one fully named in the game.
Several artists and authors are mentioned during the game: Homer, Shakespeare, Rembrandt, Manet, Claude Monet, Vincent van Gogh, Henry Moore, the Beatles, Spinal Tap, Dire Straits, the Michael Stanley Band, and Devo.
Fictional
Daedalus is mentioned if you attempt to go up without any rope, ladder, or stairs available to climb.
Medusa is represented by a statue in the museum.
The comic books in Quincy Tower feature Superman, Batman, Thor, the Incredible Hulk, Spiderman, etc.
Arrases in the castle depict a drowning bird, a gruesome public beheading, and a sleeping Court Jester.
A gorgeous man or woman seems ready to force you to accept a grape, but it's just a dream and you wake up before they can do anything.
Endings
You're toast, pal!
if you try going south at Stairwell, 4th floor.
if you try going down or south from the Dillon Field House balcony.
if you spray the napalm on yourself then light yourself with the lighter.
if you try to take a painting out through the main entrance of the Fogg art museum.
if you open the incorrect door in the Antechamber; a slathering beast kills you.
if the ogre kills you because you idle too long in his presence.
if the security guard finds you in the Bible display room. You're arrested for trespassing.
if you're caught stealing the Bible.
if you asphyxiate when stealing the Bible.
if you try to go down from the roof of the Widener Library without using the rope. You fall nine stories to your death.
if you try to climb down the rope from the roof of the Widener Library while carrying the heavy Bible. You lose your grip on the rope and fall seven stories to your death.
if you, your friend, and the Bible are trapped in the Widener courtyard. You're both arrested.
if you return to the Bible display room after stealing the Bible. You're arrested.
Thus ends "VERTIAS"
if you walk through the Jester door with your diploma.
Inventory
There is an inventory limit, but you need to be carrying quite a lot before you notice it.
Winthrop items
a Riverside Shakespeare. In Winthrop G-43, it's one of the books on the desk.
an ADS key. Acquire it by reading the Neurosurgery book on the desk in Winthrop G-42. "ADS" is short for "Abe D. Stone".
In the Dim Tunnel east of the Antechamber, unlock the door with the ADS key.
a Neurosurgery Primer. In Winthrop G-43, it's one of the books on the desk.
Give the primer to the wizard you first meet in Quincy Tower. He follows you to the crossroads in the food tunnel and waits there if you don't have the primer. He gives you surgical gloves in exchange.
a stamp. In Winthrop G-43, it's in the desk's pencil drawer.
In a pleasant lit spot, aim the camera at yourself and push its grey button to take a picture.
In the North House basement, examine the bins to learn how long film needs to be immersed in each chemical.
In the Dark Room, drop the crystal there for red light. SAVE. Take the film from the camera.
Push the timer button, put the film into the developer, then look at the timer repeatedly. When the timer is at 60 seconds, take the film. Wait until the timer resets.
Repeat this process with the film in the stopper for 30 seconds, and then in the fixer for 30 seconds. If you do it all correctly, you now have a 2" x 2" picture of yourself. If you do it wrong, the film is ruined.
a can of napalm. In Winthrop G-43, find it by looking behind the chair in the fireplace.
In Winthrop House's middle courtyard, spray napalm on the snow, then light the snow with the lighter to acquire a mail key.
a bra. In Winthrop G-43, find it by looking under the couch.
You can wear the bra if you want to. Or ignore it.
some juggling balls. In Winthrop G-43, find them by looking under the couch.
Give the balls to your roommate; he drops a lock pick when he starts juggling.
a guitar. It's in Winthrop G-43.
In the quad, play the guitar (as hinted by your friend's comments). A student takes the guitar and gives you a Jester pendant in exchange.
some Tylenol. It's in your dorm's bathroom's medicine cabinet.
After your best friend joins you after his shower, give the Tylenol to him. Now you can ask him questions or otherwise get his help.
a lighter. Acquire it by looking in the clutter on the desk in your roommate's room.
Note that you can only try to LIGHT things with the lighter. You cannot BURN or MELT anything.
a graduation memo. It's tacked to the bulletin board in your room.
Take it and read it. It lists the seven things you need to give to the tutor in the middle courtyard before you can graduate. (No one expects you to get a date.)
The last item listed refers to a painting from the Fogg museum. Ask the tutor about painting to learn he wants a Monet.
a mail key. Acquire it in the middle courtyard by spraying the snow with napalm, then lighting the snow with the lighter.
In H Entry, unlock the mailbox with the mail key. (The game knows which mailbox is yours.)
an order form. It's in mailbox G-43 in H Entry; unlock the mailbox with the mail key.
Put the stamp and the 50-dollar bill onto the form, then go to the Leverett House Kitchen. Put the form into the mailbox that's there. A thesis is immediately delivered to mailbox G-43 in H Entry.
a rope. In Gore Courtyard, untie the rope then take it.
At the top of the oily ladder (see gloves), tie the rope to both the ladder and yourself. With both hands free, you can now open the trap door, untie the rope, and go up.
In the Harvard Lampoon Castle, after you turn off the oil faucet, go back down the ladder and pick up the rope from where it fell.
On the roof of the Widener Library, tie the rope to the metal pole, give the Bible to your friend, then go down (the rope) into the courtyard. Forget about ever getting the rope back.
a lock pick. Find it by giving the juggling balls to your roommate; the lock pick falls from his sleeve.
In G Entry, pick the lock. You can now enter the Owen Room.
In Harvard Yard, pick the door. You can now enter the Office of the President.
a Harvard ID. Acquire it in your room by either moving the cover or unmaking your bed.
In the northeasternmost food tunnel where there's a steel door, put your ID into the slot to unlock the door.
By the way, in the Widener Libary, if you put your ID into the copier's slot then read the panel, you learn that your card has no credit available, so you cannot copy anything.
a Harvard diploma. In Winthrop House's middle courtyard, the Senior tutor gives it to you when you give him all of the graduation requirements.
Just hold onto this mcguffin. You don't need to do anything more with it.
Other useful items
a Walkman. In Eliot House Dining Hall, find it by looking under the tables.
You cannot eject its tape, but all of its other buttons work fine. Note that when the BACKWARD button is depressed, when you press PLAY, the recording on the tape is played backwards. The tape rewinds on its own when it reaches its end.
Make sure the FORWARD button is depressed when hiding behind the pillar near the Bible display room. Wait until you hear the whistling of an approaching guard. Push the RECORD button just before he arrives so you record the tones that the keypad makes when he opens the glass wall.
Outside the display, push PLAY to open the glass wall. You automatically enter the actual Bible room.
After successfully acquiring the Bible, push BACKWARD, then push PLAY to open a north exit from the Bible room.
a yardstick. In Dunster House's kitchen, acquire it by examining the desks.
In "Locks Can Be Deceiving", put the yardstick on each of the five roadways. The roadway that has a dip in it is the true road; this is randomized. Only open the door that the true road leads to.
a camera. Acquire it by looking under debris in one of the food tunnels west of Quincy House Kitchen.
Put the roll of film into the camera. In a lit spot, point the camera at yourself then push its grey button to take a picture.
a frisbee. Acquire it by entering the Quad with your best friend.
The message on the frisbee tells you which handles to turn in "Locks Can Be Deceiving" to unlock the door there. For example, "try first third" means to turn the first handle then turn the third handle.
The word in Gothic script on the frisbee is a password you must say to the ogre in the Abe D. Stone library to convince him that you're a true Harvardian. Phrase it as an order. For example, if the word is BOK, then the command you need is: OGRE, BOK.
a 50-dollar bill. Find it by examining the mounds in the President's office.
a pair of surgical gloves. Give the neurosurgery primer to the mad wizard you first meet in Quincy Tower after visiting Quincy Tower South. He gives you these gloves in exchange.
Examine them. They're very sticky.
In the food tunnel at the oily ladder, wear the gloves. Now you can go up the ladder. (See rope for the next part.)
After you turn off the oil faucet, take the gloves off.
a plastic Jester pendant. In the Quad, play the guitar. A student gives you this pendant in exchange for the guitar.
In the Sanctum, look behind the large arras to find a purple and yellow door with a small irregular hole in the middle. Put the Jester pendant in the hole to unlock the door. This door is a second way in and out from the Fogg Art Museum.
a scalpel. The mad wizard unexpectedly gives you this several turns after you give him the Neurosurgery Primer to him. This might happen anywhere.
In the Gutenberg Bible Room, cut the glass case with the scalpel.
a crystal. It's in the stacks of Widener Library, following the red line, in a section about dark magic.
Take the crystal to the dark room and drop it there for red light. (Force fields in the library prevent you from taking the crystal anywhere else that's interesting.)
a green metal tank. It's on the Dillon Field House balcony.
This nearly-empty oxygen tank helps you acquire the Gutenberg Bible (which see).
Graduation requirements
Give all the graduation requirements as listed on the memo to the Senior Tutor in Winthrop House's middle courtyard. Except for a date. No one expects you to get a date.
tickets to the Harvard-Yale game. Acquire them by swimming at the Adams House Swimming Pool.
a Rembrandt, a Manet, a Monet, and a Van Gogh. All four paintings are in the Fogg Art Museum.
CAUTION: Don't take any of the paintings out through the museum's entrance! The metal posts at the entrance detect any painting taken out that way and summon security.
Instead, take the stolen painting out via the Harvard Lampoon Castle. There's a tunnel behind the arras into the castle, but you need to unlock the door from inside the castle first to go that way. See Jester pendant.
In Winthrop House's middle courtyard, ask the tutor about painting. He tells you he wants a Monet. Give the Monet to him.
a thesis. After you put the completed order form into the mailbox in the Leverett House Kitchen, the thesis can be found in your mailbox in H Entry.
Unfortunately, the thesis is unbound. Take the thesis to the Abe D. Stone Library and say the password (written in Gothic on the frisbee) to the ogre. This somehow proves to the ogre that you're a true Harvardian and he binds your thesis for you.
a Scorpion Bowl. It's behind the small tapestry in the Bored Room.
a Freshman Register. Find it by looking behind the statue at "The Statue of Three Lies".
a 2" x 2" picture of yourself. See camera and roll of film for details on how to take a photo then develop it.
a Gutenberg Bible. It's inside a glass case in the Gutenberg Bible Room.
Prior to trying to get the Bible, unlock the door near the copier in the Widener library. Make sure you have the Walkman, scalpel, face mask, tubing, green tank, Shakespeare book, rope, and your best friend with you. You need them all. See Walkman for getting into the Bible room.
Cut the case with the scalpel. Wear the face mask and attach the tubing to both the green tank and the mask. Open the tank's valve then immediately put the Shakespeare book onto the pedestal. You automatically exchange it with the Gutenberg Bible in a classic Indiana Jones manuever while concrete walls descend around you and the air is pumped out. Fortunately, the oxygen in the tank saves you from passing out. (Your best friend has superior breathing skills and isn't affected.)
See Walkman and rope on escaping with the Bible. On the roof of the Widener library, give the Bible to your friend so you don't fall when climbing down the rope. Your friend gives the Bible back to you when you reach the courtyard.
You should close and re-lock the door to the courtyard when you're back in the room with the copier. I don't know if this is strictly necessary, but do it anyway just to be safe.
Score
This is the response to SCORE:
In T turns you have achieved a score of N out of 400. This makes you your-rank.
