Key & Compass presents:
Total Paddling Mania
by "Dr. Aloysius Beltway, Ph.D"

Total Paddling Mania is a Z-machine work of interactive fiction written with Inform 6 and is © 1998 by "Dr. Aloysius Beltway, Ph.D".

In this "interactive punishment jag", you play as Dr. Beltway, the owner and operator of The Paddling Werkshoppe, adjacent to the Baylor School of Punishment. When dealing with unruly children, you believe paddling is where it's at and that time-outs are ineffective foolishness.

This solution is by David Welbourn, and is based on Release 1 of the work.


Time OutHall Infer-mashun ParkingLot BaylorSchoolEntrance Foyer The Office PaddlingHall PaddlingInfo Room PaddlingRoom

I should warn you that this work is rather empty in content and what content it does have is either farcical or disturbing. Everyone is such a caricature, it's difficult to tell if this work is meant to be taken seriously or not. It seems a bit of a failure when interpreted either way. Its only message is that paddling is good, and time-outs are bad, but the way that message is conveyed is entirely unconvincing.

The work also doesn't seem to have any ending. Once you accomplish the one obvious task (paddling the unruly kid), the work has nothing more for you.

Parking Lot

> x me. i.

> s.

The Office

> x rules. x kid. x receptionist.

> ask receptionist about kid.

> ask receptionist about paddling.

> ask kid about anything.

> s.

Paddling Room

> x bendmaster.

> n. n. e. e. n. e.


> x man. x milquetoast.

> ask man about milquetoast. (default response)

> ask man about time out.

> w. s. s. e.

Paddling Info Room

> x man. x paddle. take paddle.

> ask man about paddling. ask man about paddle.

> ask man about time out. ask man about school.

> w. n. w. w. s.

The Office

> take kid. s.

Paddling Room

> put kid in bendmaster.

> x kid. x bendmaster.

> paddle kid. (+50)

> ask kid about paddling.

> x kid. x bendmaster.

> take kid. x kid. n.

The Office

> drop kid. x kid.

> ask receptionist about kid. (We learn that the kid's name is Brine and that we're Dr. Beltway.)

And after that, there doesn't seem to be anything else to do.

> quit.





You have so far scored your-score out of a possible 0, in some turns.

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