The dream sequence serves mostly to get you in the mood and remind users that there is a Naughty mode of play. You can’t really go wrong here.
In your room: TAKE ALL (letter, instructions, trophy, and breadsticks). You can listen to the duct if you like. Go down and out of the building, grab a newspaper and get on the carpet. You can’t wander elsewhere on the campus, including HDP’s basement. Once you’ve been given the control crystal and you’re on the carpet, then you’ll see the carpet controls.
Follow the instructions included in the game package. There’s no problem until you’re nearly at Fort Naughtytail, when the carpet wants to crash. You must toss each of the five heavy items off, one at a time, and then you’ll land safely in the Plaza. You have the choice of what to toss where; my choice was to drop the bar at the spooky house, the trunk at the cliffs, the case in the ocean, the keg in the ghost town, and the sack of gold in the village. I don’t know if the keg or bar would be less damaged if either were dumped in the ocean instead of onto dry hard land.
You and Sid will share room 17 of the Royal Infesta Hotel. Push G on the elevator to reach the appropriate floor. The warning on the letter about house detectives may be ignored. Sid’s book bag may be raided later. Take off your cloak to reveal a bathing suit. Then you and Sid will hit the beach...
Your nerdy frat, the Hu Delta Pharts, are accosted by the he-men of Getta Loda Yu from the St. Weinersburg Academy of Magic (SWAM). Hold your ground until the weight lifting contest. Let Bulldozer show us how it’s done. When Ralph gives it a try, use the FRIMP spell to levitate the barbell just before he tries to lift it. There are three barbells: small, medium, and large. After more name-calling and sez-you-ing, the Judge makes her appearance and sets up a series of contests, winners-take-all.
Between contests, you have time to find stuff, get gold, and increase your magic ability. But remember to make it to each contest! And you’ll have to sleep each night, preferably in your room, another frat member’s room, or a non-public place. Sleeping in public will cost you in gold.
You have a lot of time before the next contest. Take advantage of it. The next contest and current score are always posted on the scoreboard at Blather Beach.
This is a good time to see Hillary Tickingclock in Room 911. Either the newspaper or Otto in the Hall of Fame will tell you that she’s there. Go to Room 911; take a ticket. Either buy the better ticket to save time, or wait it out. When you do get in the room, take the suitcase and its contents.
[Event: get babes to HDP party, Sun 10pm, Rm 3313]
Buy the studfinder at the Hardware Store. Make sure you have a way out of jail (see Jail). Visit the Restaurant and take the two-by-fours (studs); leaving the Restaurant with them will get you arrested. At 7pm in the Lobby, give the studfinder to the bimbos. Head up to Rm 3313 with the “studs,” and wait for the bimbos to show up. You and the “studs” should stay until after the Judge has scored the party. For fun, try eating the magic mushrooms.
[Event: sand-castle building, Mon. 1pm, Blather Beach]
Beforehand, buy the shovel at the Hardware Store, and the PEAWEE spell at the Pawn Shop. On the beach, give the shovel to Sid, then PEAWEE SID. You should take the shovel back. The Pharts are on the beach the whole morning; don’t wait until 1pm.
Note: after the contest is judged, a right-handed ratchet is left on the beach! Buy the UPPSSY spell from the Souvenir Shop, and the #40 hex bolt from the Hardware Store and go to the Stream of Consciousness. Give the bolt to the workman, then UPPSSY RATCHET (to make it left-handed), then give the ratchet to the workman. You can now cross the bridge, recover the ratchet, and make 25gp to boot.
[Event: belly-flops, Tue. 10:30am, Poolside]
Beforehand, get the plumage from the roc’s nest, and buy the roc call at the Souvenir Shop. At the pool, give the plumage to Vince, then when it’s his turn, blow the roc call. A roc will pick up the portly Vince and drop him from so high up, that the pool is utterly destroyed. You’ll need to escape from jail again.
[Event: drink mixing and guzzling, Tue. 7:30pm, The Sand Bar]
You’ll need: a strawberry from the Grocery, an absorption pill from the Surf Shop, the FOY spell, and the SPURJ spell. You get a SPURJ spell when you RATANT SPUNJ; the RATANT spell was in Otto’s suitcase; the SPUNJ spell is on the Mansion Grounds.
To mix the biggest strawberry daiquiri: SPURJ STRAWBERRY to get a huge moby strawberry. It’s too big to carry, so do this at the Sand Bar. Then FOY STRAWBERRY.
To guzzle it: put the pill in the daiquiri. You may opt to swallow the pill then drink it yourself, but then you won’t be able to cast spells at all until you drink from the Stream of Consciousness.
Note: You’ll get the t-shirt for the wet t-shirt contest here.
[Event: wet t-shirt contest, Wed. 11am, Bandstand by Beach]
Beforehand, you have to get flat-chested Roxanne from the Sand Bar to offer her help. At one of the shows, give the suction-padded gloves (from Cliff Road) to her so she can defeat Lucinda.
You’ll need: the UPPSSY spell, the t-shirt, the dehydrated falsies (bought at the Souvenir Shop), and Roxanne.
At the bandstand, give the t-shirt to Roxanne first, and give the falsies to Mona. Then UPPSSY ROXANNE, and step back.
Note: Someone leaves a water jug here after the contest.
[Event: bull-fighting, Wed. 5pm, Arena]
You’ll need: a bottle of super-laxative from the Grocery, the UPPSSY spell, and the pool float from Sid’s book bag in your room. If you’re at the Arena on time, the HDPs pull straws to see that you get to fight the bull.
Inflate the float, then UPPSSY FLOAT so it is a cow instead of a duck. (If you read the newspaper, you would know that cows are the opposite of ducks.) Open the bottle. When it’s your turn to bull-fight, show the cow float to the bull. As he humps it, pour the laxative into the trough. Then wave the cape thereafter until the bull gets the runs. You’ll be arrested when the bull runs through the lobby.
[Event: unscheduled brawl, Wed. 8:30pm, Dance Club]
You’ll need: the KITCHEMY and RATANT spells. When Bulldozer grabs a lead pipe, KITCHEMY PIPE, and it’ll be a baguette. Then RATANT KITCHEMY, then BOTCHEMY PEEL, so Ralph has a sword. Greet Lola. And get arrested again.
When you visit Lola in Room 1812 of the Coral Reefer, you can pick up her gown and a mudpack. Not that either are terribly useful.
[Event: body surfing, Thu. 10am, Snack Bar]
Fill the water jug with water from the Stream of Consciousness, then head up to Rm. 2925 and pour it on Fred. The water is a hangover cure. You’ll need to wear the medallion from the Sunken Ship. Let Fred swim first, then you swim.
[Event: tanning, Thu. 3pm, Blather Beach]
Beforehand, take the case to the Lab, open it, then drop the case in the vat of lemon juice. Take the case back to Ollie at Blather Beach, then put the cream on. You’ll tan in ten minutes. Sid won’t get a tan, but that’s okay.
[Event: volleyball, Fri. 9:30am, Volleyball by Beach]
By this time, you should have bought the key from the rummy in Groggery for 500gp, taken it to the Bank in the mining town, unlocked the security box and got the HUFINPUFA and HISINFISA spells. Plus the ability to cast these level spells. At the volleyball game, simply use these spells to inflate the ball every time your side is serving or returning the ball, and deflating it for the GLYs.
Moe will tell you that he thinks the mystery event is human pyramids, and that they’ll be practising in the Arena. Go visit the Arena and get the whistle.
[Event: destroy Fort Naughtytail, Fri. 2pm, start at Beachedwhale Blvd.]
Take the blue key just dropped at Beachedwhale Blvd. Use it to unlock the wooden door in the Aquarium, open the door, go west, down, then open the GESSIBUB box and take the lantern. GESSIBUB the lantern into a flashlight, if you like. UPPSSY the foundation, then get out of the Aquarium building fast! Take the baby squid. You’ll be arrested for the destruction of flower beds.
[Event: bring back the head of the Prokturingham Bull, ASAP]
By now, you’ve done everything but find the throne of the lost city of Sitnalta. Well, you’re gonna do that now. Take the scroll, baby squid, the flashlight or torch, your spell book, the whistle, and all four seahorses to the Mine. The Pharts join you at Village Center. In the mine, give the baby squid to the giant squid, then head east to Sitnalta.
Now. Open the OKEEDOKEEYO box. Follow the route on the scroll carefully. Do not visit the waterfall, boulder, or pond. Put the sweet seahorse in the birdbath. Climb the tree and put the fuzzy seahorse in the nest. At the statue, blow the whistle, climb the pyramid, and put the soggy seahorse in the tureen. Put the golden seahorse in the pot at the end of the rainbow. When you get to where the throne should be, the scroll will get hot, the ground will tremble, and the throne will appear. Again, the throne won’t appear unless the path is correctly traversed.
Sitting on the throne takes you to the Lair. OKEEDOKEEYO BULL. The Judge appears with a disintegrator, and reveals that “she” is really Joey Rottenwood! After his monologue, DESSIBUB BULL, then take the bull’s head south, and win the game!
That casino is crooked!! Either UPPSSY CASINO or go under the casino and remove a support to straighten it out. Thereafter, the games will make money for you, although it’ll still take some time. Blockjock is probably the best for quickly amassing a fortune. You also have more time to waste at the casino on the first two days at Fort Naughtytail.
You can sell an awful lot of stuff at the pawn shop, but be sure you don’t need it, beacuse it’ll cost double to buy it back. You will want to buy the PEAWEE spell and the color bomb. I have no idea if you can buy the diamond ring, or what you can do with it if you can.
Some items can be improved upon before selling them. UPPSSY Otto’s tie, Sid’s textbook, and your cloak to make them hipper. VOY the denim into salable jeans. RATTAN the oyster shell into an aster.
Some items are worthless at the pawn shop, eg: letter, instructions, greasy food, plumage, straw, oyster.
You may be arrested up to five times in the game, and you’ll need to use a different method of escape each time:
In the Lighthouse at the end of the jetty is the Fort Naughtytail Guild of Sorcerers, who will set you on three tasks:
To enter the estate, you must first bring the hellhound haunch from Mouth of Cave and drop it at End of Road. The dog on the other side of the fence will eventually dig a hole under the fence to get to it, but I wouldn't wait around for it. Go back after several hours, or even the next day. Once you enter the Mansion Grounds, open the SPUNJ box to get that spell, solve the color maze to the west to get the golden seahorse, and throw the color bomb in the Parlor, so Azure/Scarlet will reveal the passage to the Lab. The lemon juice in the Lab cannot be taken, not even with the water jug; you must bring the tanning creams to it. Scarlet, of course, may be “taken” as many times as you like.
You may climb the statue and jump to Deserted Beach, or push the button to open the gates to Dead End, but these are exits only, not entrances to the estate. Every time you wish to enter the estate, it must be via End of Road.
The underwater areas of the game can only be reached by using the BIGFINNO spell on yourself at the Point. It’s set up so that you can never take anything into the depths (except stuff you can wear), including your spell book, but you can bring stuff back. You can never put BIGFINNO into your spell book, nor RATANT BIGFINNO. However, you can do the underwater stuff at any time in the game; and the BIGFINNO spell box is always replenished once you become human again.
So, open the BIGFINNO box at the point, then as a merman you may ENTER OCEAN or ENTER HARBOR. You have a time-limit on being a merman; when it runs out, you’ll drop everything and be returned to the Wharf. Eating the berries from Under the Sea will force you back to a human; it only makes sense to do this at the Point.
You want to get the medallion from the Sunken Ship, whatever you dropped from the carpet into the ocean at City View, the scroll from Mermaid’s Room (it’s a map of Sitnalta), and the egg from Museum. Wear the medallion when you find it. You may screw the mermaid when you find her. To get everything else back to the surface, go to Harbor Bottom, and open the lobster trap, put all in it, then close the trap. The lobsterman will dump everything at Wharf.
Read the plaque in Museum. You may ignore the statue at Mer City, and the chain and crab at Harbor Bottom.
SPUNJ TREE at Windswept Road to get the sweet seahorse.
Solve the color maze in the Blueberry Estate to get the golden seahorse. A 1gp “hard” solution is: NBGPW BRKYP NGWKR B.
OPEN EGG from Museum, when on land, to get the fuzzy seahorse.
At the Restuarant, sit, order the bisque, then eat it to reveal a conch shell. RATTAN CONCH to turn it into a couch with the soggy seahorse on it. To turn the RATTAN spell back into the more useful RATANT spell, you should previously have taken the pimento moss from the cannon at the Fort and put it into the roc’s nest, carrying the moss with the gloves. Put the spell book containing RATTAN into the nest, and RATANT will be restored, but the moss will be gone.
— First Level —
BIP – create soft music – given at start of game
BIM – create soft mucous – RATANT BIP to get BIM
FOY – create daiquiris – given at start of game
VOY – create dungarees – RATANT FOY to get VOY
— Second Level —
FRIMP – levitation – given at start of game
FRUMP – legislation – RATANT FRIMP to get FRUMP
SPUNJ – enlarge tree root – found at Mansion Grounds
SPURJ – enlarge wee fruit – RATANT SPUNJ to get SPURJ
— Third Level —
RATANT – spell mutation – in Otto’s suitcase in Rm. 911
RATTAN – shell mutation – RATANT RATANT to get RATTAN
UPPSSY – opposites – buy it at Souvenir Shop
DOWNSY – oppossums – RATANT UPPSSY to get DOWNSY
PEAWEE – regression – buy it at Pawn Shop
POWWOW – digression – RATANT PEAWEE to get POWWOW
— Fourth Level —
KITCHEMY – lead to bread – in trunk that you offload from the carpet
BOTCHEMY – peel to steel – RATANT KITCHEMY to get BOTCHEMY
GESSIBUB – simplification – found in Basement of Aquarium
DESSIBUB – amplification – RATANT GESSIBUB to get DESSIBUB
BIGFINNO – human to merman – found and replenished at Point
— Fifth Level —
HUFINPUFA – inflation – in safety deposit box at Bank
HISINFISA – deflation – in safety deposit box at Bank
— Sixth Level —
OKEEDOKEEYO – docility – found at Sitnalta
“Legend Entertainment,” “Spellcasting 301: Spring Break,” and “Sorcerer University” are trademarks of Legend Entertainment Company. The text of this page, not counting the spell summary, is © 2002, David Welbourn. No infringement on Legend Entertainment’s trademarks is implied or intended.