Spellcasting 101: Sorcerers Get All The Girls – Solution
I assume we're playing in Naughty mode, yes?
Don’t forget your application! There are actually three ways to escape
your room. First way: take the hay, open both windows, put the hay in the
right window, and jump out the left window (into the cow manure).
Second way: go to the privy, take the bowl of human waste, open the grate,
then go down the hole.
Third way: pour the waste on the fire and go up the chimney.
Once in the alley, take the flat rock, then take the rusty key.
You can push Miss Minnie Beancounter, or drop a spider on her (from the
privy). There’s probably other options here. Anyway, take the key, unlock
the shed door with it, open the shed door, west, take overalls, wear
overalls, east, east.
Don’t delay. Don’t worry about the love note to Lola, or anything else
To enroll, enter the long line at Donkeydung Hall, wait, then answer the
three questions from your application form. Time will pass...
There’s lots going on at S.U. A new newspaper can be picked up
every day in Batguano Court. Parties at the frat houses every night at 8pm.
Sporting events in the stadium. And your classes in Meltingwolf Hall.
Plus, Prof. Tickingclock has invited you to dinner at his place for 7:30pm
Wednesday night. A lot of this is fun, but most of it isn't necessary to do
to win the game. You begin with the BIP spell gratis.
- You don’t have to read the newspapers. You’ll notice that
the quality gets worse each day. An old and respected mage dies. Most of this
is foreshadowing the calamity to come.
- The sporting events are all for fun. The descriptions are hilarious,
but you needn’t go to a single one.
- You do need to go to the frat parties at least once. The first time
you enter Tappa Kegga Bru, you’ll be given the SKONN spell outright.
Visit the I Phelta Thi party and meet Gretchen Snowbunny, the prez’s
daughter, and escort her back to your room. Put her down. Search her for
a key embossed with the University seal. This key opens President House,
which has the FRIMP spell. You can drink ale at the parties, but you won’t
be able to do magic until the next day.
- You don’t have to go to the classes, but you should go at least once
for the background info. An ancient map is given out in one class
(General Magic 101?); it’s the same one in the game package.
- You don’t have to go to dinner at Prof. Tickingclock’s. But if
you do, you’ll hear more about the appliance here than anywhere else
in the game. Hillary T’clock wants to bed you; it's up to you if you make
out with her or not.
Things that you can do before S.U. is trashed:
- Take the popular book “Endgame Surprise” from the library.
- Use the SKONN spell on the statue in the library. Now you can climb
the bust to get to the stacks and take the KABBUL spell.
- Cast FRIMP on the trap door in Meltingwolf Hall. When it quivers, lift it.
Go down, and walk through the maize maze so that you spell “THIS WAY OUT”.
Go down the new hole to get the DISPAR spell.
- Sit on the chair in the Simulation Lab, and practice casting spells.
Things that you can do after S.U. is trashed:
- Use the Simulation Chair again, and keep the spells from the simulation
(GUB, VAL, and ZEM).
- DISPAR the surfboard in Prof. T’clock’s room. Take it.
- Take the BLUBBA spell that falls out after the surfboard is taken.
- Go to the Boat Dock, put the surfboard in the water, get on it, turn
left dial to 6, turn right dial to TICK, and push the button.
- You can’t do anything for Prof. Peeleroffigs. You can’t
go to any mainland destinations except the University and Fort Blackwand.
The Island of Lost Soles
(at TICK-6, home of the Antenna of Putzberg)
Use the KABBUL spell here, one by one, to restore the lost souls of all
eighty inhabitants. When you finish, you’ll get a big key.
- Blaise (blaze)
- Bernie (burnt knee)
- Ashby (ash bee)
- Charlotte (charred lot)
- Charlie (charred lee)
- Rod (fishing pole)
- Barb (point of hook)
- Clifford (cliff ford)
- Sandford (sand ford)
- Bridgitte (bridge + it)
- Brooke (stream)
In The Forest
- Robin (bird)
- Dawn (sun)
- Wolfgang (carnivores)
- Ernest (urn nest)
- Woodrow (woodpiles)
- Leif (leaf)
- Gail (gale)
- Adlai (ad lie)
- Nicholas (nickel less)
- Ty (tie)
- Kitty (poker pot)
- Pierre (stuffed moose)
- Adam (atom)
[in the safe:]
- Penny (cent)
- Buck (dollar coin)
- Jules (jewels)
- Will (legal stmt)
[on the will:]
- Patty (meat circle)
- Sherry (nutty wine)
- Waldo (wall dough)
- Stu (stew)
- Ricky (lime drink)
- Frank (hot dog)
- Pat (butter)
- Gabby (gab E)
- Archie (arch E)
- Connie (con E)
- Lucy (loose E)
- Lacey (lace E)
- Goldie (gold E)
- Daisy (daze E)
- Hardy (hard E)
- Dusty (dust E)
- Betty (bet E)
- Gaylord (judge)
- Laurie (carriage)
- Lulu (loo loo)
- Lucille (loo seal)
- Bobby (policeman)
- Billy (club)
- Mike (microphone)
- Cy (sigh)
- Winnie (whinny)
- Blair (blare)
- Noel (no L)
- Humphrey (hum free)
West of House
- Bo (bow)
- Tom (cat)
- Teddy (koala bear)
- Bunny (rabbit)
- Bill (duck)
- Kermit (cur mitt)
- Newt (salamander)
The Island Where Time Runs Backward
(at PIG-4; home of the Nozzle of Blather)
As soon as you reach this island, you land, and you must do your entire
trip to the island in reverse order, which more-or-less follows the plot
of Goldilocks and the Three Bears. The UNDO command is very useful since
a single slip wastes the universe. At the end of your trip, you’ll
have the BUNDEROT spell.
DROP WAYBREAD. SOUTH. SW.
JUMP OUT WINDOW. WAIT. WAIT.
GET IN SMALL MUDBATH. GET IN MEDIUM MUDBATH.
GET IN LARGE MUDBATH. UP.
EAT SMALL WAYBREAD. EAT MEDIUM WAYBREAD.
EAT LARGE WAYBREAD. SCREW SMALL CONCUBINE.
SCREW MEDIUM CONCUBINE. SCREW LARGE CONCUBINE.
EAST. OPEN DOOR. READ SIGN.
NW. EXAMINE PEDESTAL. NORTH.
GIVE BUNDEROT BOX TO DIRECTOR. GET OFF THE SURFBOARD.
The Island of Horny Women
(at SLUG-8; home of the Ratchet of Weinersburg)
These amazons will literally sex you to death; don’t dilly-dally!
You’ve got to get the lead-plated sword, and the only way to escape
is in drag.
- Go to the VIP Suite as indicated by Ursula Unquenchablefire and screw her.
- Open the hope chest (more sex), and take the high-heel shoes.
- FRIMP the bed, and take the bonnet.
- Go up the air vent to the SIP Suite, open the wardrobe and take the gown.
- Don’t go north from SIP Suite, you’ll be screwed.
- Go up the air vent back to VIP, then east to Parade Ground, and south
to Shop. The shopkeeper should be last amazon you’ll have to service.
- Take all; take off the cloak; wear gown, lipstick, shoes, and bonnet.
- Walk back to boatyard safely. The magazine and pomegranate are extras.
You probably want to strip the drag and re-don the cloak before leaving
The Restaurant at the End of the Ocean
(at BAT-14; home of the Eggbeater of Barfton)
If you went to the Ethics 101 lecture, you’ll know that you’re
seeing the six stages of a restaurant from Grand Opening to Out of Business
very quickly. If you’re quick, you’ll get a MAJJELLO
spell for your trouble.
- Take the MAJJELLO box. A pygmy shark will swallow it.
- Enter the restaurant and order shark from Maurice. You needn’t
wait for the menu.
- Don’t even try to eat the shark when it arrives. Cast BUNDEROT
on the shark, and take the box or open it as soon as possible.
- That’s it. Note that the restaurant doesn’t have take out.
You must recover the spell box before you’re thrown out.
- Cast MAJJELLO on the right dial of the surfboard (and the ancient map
if you have it) to get the BOA marking.
The Island of the Gods
(at BOA-10; home of the Envelope Feeder of Flem)
You get two spells at this island: GWEEK (shrink inanimate objects),
and GOBERDUNA (tie or untie mighty knots). Oh, you also get to have sex
with Ocarina, whose beauty surpasseth that of mortals.
- To get in the island, first unlock the island with the big key that
you got at the Island of Lost Soles.
- Ignore the Garden of the Gods, the Condo of the Gods, Condo East of
the Gods, and for now, the Garbage Dump of the Gods. The butterfly,
chandeliers, plants, skull, etc. are just window dressing.
- Go to Condo West and hide behind the drapes. Wait until Glock is gone.
- Come out from behind the drapes, and make love to Ock. As soon as she
produces the GWEEK spell box, take it! Or open it! Glock appears the very
- To get rid of the garbage, first GWEEK it,
then BUNDEROT it.
- Take the revealed GOBERDUNA box and get outta there before the
(at PIG-13; home of Joey Rottenwood!?!??)
A wonderful finale is in store, with some surprises.
- Defeat the Lok Pik Monster by casting your new GOBERDUNA spell on it.
- Urk! It's the simulation scenario – but for real this time!
GUB TREE. ZEM ME. SOUTH.
KILL DRAGON WITH SWORD. VAI IVY. UP.
PULL LEVER. FREE LOLA. (Lola? What’s she doing here?)
- Lola has a purse. Take it, open it, and take the flamethrower.
You may ignore the compact, credit card, and tampon.
- Open the trap door and go down to the Gateroom. KABBUL ART.
- Three gates. Three X’s. And three people – you, Lola, and Art.
Get each person to stand on a different X to open all gates simultaneously.
Then head west for the...
Yes, it’s your stepdad up to no good. And he’s got the
appliance and all five attachments and he’s gonna push both buttons
- Give popular book to Joey. Remember, it’s so good, you can’t
put it down. Neither can he to push both buttons. However, he does manage
to activate the appliance, and Prof. T’clock says you’ve only
got 15 minutes (3 turns) to stop it, by feeding it 7 tons of whale poop!
(I’m not kidding!) And an EKSLAKSIA spell box appears from the
appliance (spell of unloading).
- BLUBBA APPLIANCE. This summons the whale over the
appliance, but unfortunately, your spell book goes flying any time when
you summon a whale.
- DESTROY SPELL BOOK WITH FLAMETHROWER. Yes, I hated to do
it, too, but there’s no time to cast EKSLASKIA normally. If you
don’t get rid of the book, then the EKSLASKIA spell would go into the
book instead of cast when its box is opened.
- OPEN EKSLASKIA BOX. Everyone, including the whale, has
a massive bowel movement. Tres gross, but it does save the world, give you
the high score, and leads you to the epilogue and promise of a sequel.
- In the epilogue, you are reunited with your mom and real dad, honoured
by Prof. T’clock, billed by the school. And Lola (who really isn’t
worth the effort) goes shopping.
— First Level —
BIP – make soft music
VAI – healthy plants
GUB – diseased plants
ZEM – increase fighting prowess
— Second Level —
SKONN – increase bust size
FRIMP – levitate
GWEEK – shrink inanimate objects
— Third Level —
DISPAR – remove magical protection
KABBUL – restore lost soul
BLUBBA – summon whale
— Fourth Level —
MAJJELLO – reveal hidden information
BUNDEROT – decomposition
— Fifth Level —
GOBERDUNA – tie or untie mighty knots
EKSLAKSIA – spell of unloading
In Nice mode, you don’t have sex. Instead, you’ll play
chess with nuns on the Island Where Time Runs Backward, solve a crossword
puzzle with Ocarina, and be called on to do handyman chores with the Amazons.
The surfboard’s gauge starts at 100 and goes down with each trip.
Probably when it runs down to 0, you’re out of fuel. Split up a long
trip into two or more trips. There’s no problem if you pick a mid-ocean
spot to stop at, except for BAT-15, where you’ll
die before finding out whether or not a giant rodent is there to drink all
the water that’s pouring out.
I couldn’t find any practical use for the BIP spell.
You can’t take anything in the cafeteria, let alone eat it.
You can eat the pomegranate or any meal served at the restaurant, but
there’s no reason to do so.
You can BUNDEROT poor Prof. Peeleroffigs’s dead
body, should you go back to S.U.
You can MAJJELLO the ancient map to reveal the god’s
island at BOA-10.
Casting BLUBBA indoors is always fatal. You always drop
your spell book when you cast BLUBBA. The cleaning nymphs
won’t clean up the Garbage Dump of the Gods; the authors probably
didn’t think of that possibility.
The Garbage Dump of the Gods becomes the Big Empty Field of the Gods
The talisman is still a mystery to me. My best guess is that it’s
a protection charm of some sort; I don’t know what happens if you
just drop it and play without it.
Those annoying messenger nymphs on the Island of Lost Soles are essential
to getting any names you’ve missed or can’t figure out.
Few people would guess Pierre or Humphrey without a hint.
Did you see all these types of nymphs? Library, newspaper, fraternity,
parser, messenger, encouragement, graduation, customer support, restaurant,
cleaning, and programming.
“Legend Entertainment,” “Spellcasting 101:
Sorcerers Get All The Girls,” and “Sorcerer University”
are trademarks of Legend Entertainment Company.
The text of this page, not counting the spell summary, is
© 2002, David Welbourn.
No infringement on Legend Entertainment’s trademarks is implied or intended.