Key & Compass presents:
Kook U
by sbfaq

Kook U is a Z-machine interactive fiction game written with Inform 6 and is © 1997 by sbfaq.

In this silly but very rude game, you're the Network Administrator at Kook University. It's your job to restart the Network whenever it's down, but Dean F. L. Uffy also demands that you stop the USENET Abuse by six terrible students or else you're out of a job!

Content warnings: profanity, drug use, comedic deaths and murder, references to illegal forms of pornography, and horrible poetry.

This solution is by David Welbourn, and is based on Release 1 of the game.

SPOILERS AHEAD. Reading a walkthrough prematurely can sometimes diminish one's enjoyment of an interactive fiction game. Please make an honest effort to play the game before reading this walkthrough.


ComputerRoom YourOffice North Endof Hall South Endof Hall Martin'sOffice LoanOffice TerminalRoom Arboretum StudyHall OutsideLoanOffice OutsideCollege ofComp. Sci. OutsideArboretum LawLibrary OutsideCollegeof Law Commons OutsideLibrary Library OutsideDay CareFacility OutsideDean'sOffice OutsideCollege ofBusiness Day CareFacility (Dean'sOffice) College ofBusiness


Your Office

> x papers. x computer. (The network's down.)

> x desk. open drawer.

> x beeper. (needs battery)

> x memo. (Stop Usenet abuse or else.)

> x card. take it. (+1)

> e.

North End of Hall

> x sign. x door. x reader.

> put my card in reader. (+9)

> open door. n. (+6)

Computer Room

> x server. x router. turn on router. (+9)

> x server. (Several unwanted newsgroups listed.)

> s. w.

Your Office

> put card in drawer.

> x terminal. (List of online users shown.)

> e. s. e.

Martin's Office

You don't need the lyrics or thermos.

> x lyrics. (text dump!)

> x thermos. open it. x coffee. close thermos.

> x terminal.

The game goes into menu mode where you can select user names to learn more about them. All six people listed are USENET Abusers that you must defeat.

When you're finished reading the entries, type Q to leave the menu and continue the rest of the game.

> w. s.

Terminal Room

By the way, if you didn't restart the Network, the users won't let you leave the building.

> x equipment. x users.

> s. s.


The Commons is the central hub of the outdoor locations. This walkthrough will explore the buildings and grounds going clockwise from here, starting with the northeastern branch.

> x tape. take it. (+1)

> ne. ne.


> x trees. x Doctress. x computer. (She enjoys pot.)

> ask Doctress about computer.

> ask Doctress about pot.

Although you can take the portable computer, you don't need it.

> sw. s. e.


> x April. x terminal. (Implant sent a love letter to her, signed Al McAnespy. Remember that name! Also note that Miss April is married.)

> x article. (It's about Grubor.)

> take article. (+1)

Caution: If you ask Miss April about a topic she doesn't know, she'll read one of her poems at random to you.

> ask April about Implant.

> ask April about husband.

> ask April about USENET.

> w. s. se.

College of Business

> x Wallace. x terminal. (Sending lots of spam.)

> x fan. take fan. (+1)

> ask Wallace about anything.

> nw. w.

Outside Dean's Office

> x door. x plaque. open door. (locked)

> w. sw.

Day Care Facility

> x desks. x Implant. (quite short)

> x terminal. x player. take player. (+1)

> open player. x Nails tape.

> close player. turn on player. (angsty sophomoric tripe)

> open player. take Nails. drop it.

> put unlabeled in player.

> close player. turn on player. (It's April's wedding vows.)

> ask Implant about April.

> ask Implant about Al McAnespy. (He shrinks to an inch tall!)

> x Implant. kill Implant. (+9)

> ne. n.

Outside the College of Law

> x inscription. ("E PLURIBUS USENET")

> w.

Law Library

> x bill. take it. (+1)

> n.

Study Hall

> x Grubor. x terminal.

> ask Grubor about email. ask Grubor about Boursy.

> ask Grubor about USENET. ask Grubor about Martin.

> show article to Grubor. (+9)

> s. e. n.

Outside Loan Office

> nw. (can't: too much smoke)

> turn on fan. nw. (+6)

Loan Office

Once you're in here, you don't need the fan any more.

> drop fan.

> x Boursy. x terminal. (He insists it's coffee he needs.)

> x pack. open it. x joint.

> take pack. (+9. He has a heart attack and disappears.)

By the way, if you give him the thermos of coffee, he still has a heart attack.

> take joint. (+1)

> se. e. e. ne.


> give joint to Doctress. (+9)

> sw. s. e.


Assuming the unlabeled tape is still in the player:

> turn on player. (+9. Miss April leaves.)

> w. s. se.

College of Business

> give bill to Wallace. (+9)

> x junk mail.

> nw. w.

Outside Dean's Office

When all six Network Abusers are defeated, the Dean's door is unlocked and open.

> s.

(Dean's Office)

The Dean congratulates you, but says there's one last problem. You must restore the Network again because there was a virus attack.

You are now instantly back at...

Computer Room

> x router. x name. x file. x news.

All four devices are off. It's just a matter of turning them on (and off) in the correct order, which you can figure out by trial and error, until they're all on.

> turn on router.

> turn on name.

> turn on file.

> turn off name.

> turn on news.

> turn on name. (+9; the Network is running!)

You apply to be the next Dean and are accepted.

*** You have won ***





NOTE: You have a SEVEN item inventory limit.

Also, you may find it amusing to give or show any or all of your inventory to anyone you meet just to see how they react. Or maybe not. These people are awful and somewhat one-dimensional, but it's up to you to decide how much you want to interact with them.


The response to SCORE is:

You have so far scored your-score out of a possible 100, in several turns, earning you the rank of Rank.

Points are awarded as follows:

The known possible ranks are:

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