Key & Compass presents:
by Caleb Wilson

HOLY ROBOT EMPIRE is a Z-machine interactive fiction game written with Inform 7 and is © 2014 by Caleb Wilson (as "Ralph Gide"). It was a participant in the ShuffleComp event where it was commended.

In this game, you are playing as Morgen Santamore, a human instructor in robot decorum at the Mathedral of the Heavenly Code High School. Today, the Robopope, Pope Fortran itself, is visiting this very building complex. You're going to find it and then kiss its papal ring.

This solution is by David Welbourn, and is based on Release 2 of the game.


Under-groundChurch Thicket CharnelCyst Slum Channel Cell SecondaryChapelApproach BackStairs Midden Chapel ofSpiritualCybernetics Subsidence Robopope Reliquary EmptyClassroom LowerNave Crossway Inter-stitialHallway ColumnarPolyhedronNarthex Almshouse FuneraryNiche u u n/d u d d

The LED eye is your lightsource for dark locations, but if you don't have it, you're still allowed to go through dark locations safely.


Empty Classroom

> about. credits.

> x me. x examination.

> x desk. x slot. put examination in slot. (+1)

> x desks.

> s.

Interstitial Hallway

> x ceiling. e.

Columnar Polyhedron Narthex

> x crowd. n.

Lower Nave

> take kit. x it. open it.

> x wirecutters.

> n. (No chance. Maybe you can reach the chapel via the crypt below.)

> s. e.


> x carpet. x cot. x helmet. x pauper.

> talk to pauper.

> 1 ("Hello.")

> 1 ("...helmet?" Need to play a song.)

> 2 ("...crypt?" Just down and north.)

> n.


> x bricks. nw.


> x cabinet. x saint. x fuse.

> sw.

Funerary Niche

> x dust. x pedestal. x head. x wire.

> cut wire with wirecutters.

> take eye. (+1) take wire.

> se.

Charnel Cyst

The coffin is locked, so you can't take either chip yet.

> x coffin. x saint. x red chip. ("The DOSology.")

> x white chip. ("Ave Machina.")

> nw. ne. nw. nw.


> x woman.

She names you as a deputy inquisitor and you now need to find a reported heretical item below. Talking to the woman is optional; here's one way the conversation can go:

> talk to woman.

> 1. ("Hello.")

> 1. ("...more about item?" Likely printed.)

> 1. ("...where to look?" Down that hole.)

> 1. ("...Inquisitor?")

> 1. ("...what you do?" Classified.)

> 1. ("...nothing to hide")

> 1. ("...graduated")

> 1. ("...wasn't healthy")

> 1. ("...cyber-arthritis")

> 1. ("...miracle")

> 1. ("...Why not?")

> 1. ("...Cult?" Heretics.)

> 1. ("...How sad.")

> 1. ("...not a heretic.")

> 1. ("How can I prove...?" You can't.)

> d.


> x roots. w.


> x structure.

> n.

Underground Church

> x stone. x plate. x glue. x idol. x bill.

> take all from stone. take bill from plate.

> glue idol. x idol.

> s. e. e.


> x stems. x bones. s.


> x envelope. take it. open it. take bill.

> x heap. search heap. x book.

You can look up popes in this book. Totally optional.

> look up java in book. (from 1 ARA to 2 ARA)

> look up inform in book. (from 2 ARA to 19 ARA)

> look up cobol in book. (from 19 ARA to 25 ARA)

> look up ada in book. (from 25 ARA to 31 ARA)

> look up tads in book. (from 31 ARA to 38 ARA)

> look up python in book. (38 ARA)

> look up lisp in book. (38 ARA to 43 ARA)

> look up pascal in book. (43 ARA to 46 ARA)

> look up hugo in book. (46 ARA to 53 ARA)

> look up pearl in book. (53 ARA to 57 ARA)

> look up ruby in book. (57 ARA to 59 ARA)

> look up alan in book. (59 ARA to 64 ARA)

Continue exploring:

> n. e.


> x basket. x hermit. x frizz. x box.

> x key. x paperbook. x clarinet. x ball.

> buy paperback. (Using a dollar bill.)

> buy key. (Using another bill.)

> w. w. u.


> give idol to woman. (Pagan, but not heretical.)

> give paperback to woman. (+1. She leaves.)

> n. u.

Secondary Chapel Approach

> s. (Need a prayer helmet to head that way.)

Hm. The pauper has a helmet; he wants music. The hermit has a clarinet. But you'll need another dollar bill to buy it, and also a new fuse and a music chip to make it work.

> d. s. se.


> open cabinet. (With key. The key snaps.)

> glue key. (With glue: +1.)

> take holy fuse.

> se. sw. se.

Charnel Cyst

> unlock coffin with key. open coffin.

> take chips.

> nw. ne. nw. nw. d. e. e.


> give key to hermit. (He gives you a bill back.)

> buy clarinet. (Using the dollar.)

> take dead fuse.

> put holy fuse in square slot.

> w. w. u. se. se. u.


Either chip will work, but you probably want to see both songs, right?

> put red chip in clarinet. play clarinet. (+1)

> take helmet.

> take red chip.

> put white chip in clarinet. play clarinet.

> n. nw. nw. d. e. e.


Oh, just assume we'll need a bowling ball. Something will require it.

> take holy fuse. take white chip.

> give clarinet to hermit. (You get a dollar back.)

> buy ball. (Using the dollar.)

> w. w. u. n. u.

Secondary Chapel Approach

> wear helmet. s. (+1)

Chapel of Spiritual Cybernetics

> x bot. x antenna. x decals. x brainpan.

> put ball in brainpan. (+1)

> talk to bot. g. g.

> s.


> x pope. x ring. kiss ring. (+1)

*** You have won. ***

> songs (List of songs that influenced this game.)

> jokes (Your reward for winning is some robotic and IF-related jokes.)





HOLY ROBOT EMPIRE was tested by Seth Kaplan, Molly "Healy" G., Royce Odle, Alex Klemperer, and Alan DeNiro. Any remaining bugs are the fault of Caleb Wilson.

The cover image is derived from a public domain photo by Steve Hillebrand of the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service.




You have so far scored your-score out of a possible 8, in some turns.

Thank You to my Patreon supporters

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