It's Valentine's Day, 1925, in Grand Island, Washington. In this triptych story of crime, justice, and love, you play as Cooper "Coop" Johnson, a would-be ne'er-do-well. To become the newest member in Boss Hogg's gang, find and collect all the treasures hiding in the Grand Island Bank. Can you do it? Should you? What would the boss say?
This solution is by David Welbourn, and is based on Release 11 of the game.
SPOILERS AHEAD. Reading a walkthrough prematurely can sometimes diminish one's enjoyment of an interactive fiction game. Please make an honest effort to play the game before reading this walkthrough.
Jackrabbit will scope the place and get a list of all the loot.
Pretty Boy will make sure you get everything.
>> SPACE
Roadside
Surprisingly, this game isn't on a timer. Feel free to take things slow.
> i. x boots.
> x Hogg. x hat. x car. x trunk.
> x Jack. x Pretty. x Baby. x Junior.
> enter car.
>> SPACE
Outside the Bank
Pretty Boy tells you to wait outside while Junior watches the car. Soon, Pretty Boy returns with a hostage for Junior to watch as well. Now you can go inside; the gang has the bank under their complete control.
> x widower. x heart. talk to widower.
> x porch. look under porch.(You acquire a locket.)
> open it. x picture. close locket.
> w.
Bank Lobby
>> SPACE
Pretty Boy gives you a list of treasures to find. Find them all and give them to him and you're in. Or GIVE UP.
In this walkthrough, we'll collect all the treasures first, and only afterwards, start handing them over.
> x list.
> x cleaner. x uniform.
> talk to him.(He's Jay. He warns you to stay clear of the wealthy woman.)
> x wealthy woman. x dress.
> talk to her.
> x student.(She's nervous.)
> x sweater. x skirt.
> x counter. x windows.
> n.
Tellers' Area
> x woman. talk to woman.
> x skirt.(half-heart pattern)
> x blouse. x jacket. x hat.
> x key. take it.
> x chairs. x cupboard. open it. x collar.
> x book. take it. read it. g. g. g. g. g.
> x fridge. open it.
> x butter. search it. x necklace.
> s.
Bank Lobby
> unlock vault with key.
> open vault. s.
Medium Vault
> x boxes. x bar. take it.
> n. u.
Landing
> x youth. x glasses. x astrolabe.
> x patch.(heart-shaped)
> talk to youth.(He's a tutor.)
> ask youth about astrolabe.(It's for a friend.)
> n.
Meeting Room
> x shutters. open shutters.(can't: nailed shut)
> x gleam. x nails.
You need something hooked to pry them with.
> s. s.
Office
> x owner. x pin.(has heart at one end)
> x desk. open drawer.
> x opener. x gum. take all from drawer.
> x barrel. x peanuts.
> x paperweight. x pen.
> x map. x nail. x clock.
> take peanuts.(You hear a clinking.)
> search peanuts.(You acquire a bottle of cheap red wine.)
> x bottle. x cork.
> x vault. open vault.(The owner claims it's a time lock and won't open until the next morning.)
> n. d. d.
Basement
> talk to Baby. ask Baby about notebook. g. g. g.
> x woman.(mouth clamped shut)
> x pantsuit. x mouth. open mouth. take watch. x it.
> x vault.(has combo lock)
> n.
Boiler Room
> x boiler. x scuttle. x chunk. x starter
> x man. x cheap watch.
> x patch.(shaped like a half a heart)
> search man.(You acquire a sealskin Bible.)
> x Bible.
> take hammer and crowbar.
> x hammer. x crowbar.
> s. u. u. n.
Meeting Room
> pry nails with hammer.
> open shutters. take brooch. x it.
> look.(The overstuffed chair looks odd in the brighter light?)
> x chair.(It's unevenly stitched.)
> cut chair.(with letter opener.)
> take slip.(It's the autograph.)
> s. s.
Office
> pry nail with hammer.(You acquire a painting.)
> x painting.
> n.
Landing
The handbook said something about a prohibition against combo locks near psychics, and isn't Jackrabbit a psychic?
> talk to Jack.
> ask Jack about cash.(He tells you numbers for a vault: 55, 76, 96.)
Remember those numbers.
> d. d.
Basement
> dial 55. dial 76. dial 96.("click")
> s.
Large Vault
> x statuary. x furniture. x cash.("JG" on band)
> take cash.
> n. u.
Bank Lobby
For every treasure (except the locket) that you give to Pretty Boy, he takes it out to the car and puts the treasure into the trunk. The hostages don't even try to do anything while he's gone.
> give locket to Pretty.(He wears it.)
> give necklace to Pretty.(+1)
> z. z. z. z.
> give silver bar to Pretty.(+1)
> z. z. z. z.
> give watch to Pretty.(+1)
> z. z. z. z.
> give Bible to Pretty.(+1)
> z. z. z. z.
> give brooch to Pretty.(+1)
> z. z. z. z.
> give autograph to Pretty.(+1)
> z. z. z. z.
> give painting to Pretty.(+1)
> z. z. z. z.
> give cash to Pretty.(+1)
> e.
Outside the Bank
> enter car. SPACESPACESPACE
Hogg is delighted with the loot. Then Chief Slaughter arrives and calls you the worst undercover cop. "Did you even talk to Virginia, the bank president? You were supposed to let her know it was you by taking your boots off in front of her!" With her help, you can forge everything on the list. HELP SLAUGHTER repeats this message.
*** At least Hogg was happy! ***
> restart
Part 2: Help Slaughter
Roadside
>> SPACESPACE
> enter car.
Outside the Car
>> SPACE
> look under porch.(You acquire a locket.)
> w.
Bank Lobby
Pretty Boy gives you the list and your instructions.
>> SPACE
> u. s.
Office
> remove boots.
Virginia invites you to ask about any item on the list.
> ask her about silver.(Need shiny bright heavy metal.)
> ask her about cash.(Some damaged currency is in her vault.)
> ask her about brooch.(Use anything from a bracelet to a hat pin.)
> ask her about painting.(Stain a canvas.)
> ask her about necklace.(Necklaces come in many shapes and styles.)
> ask her about watch.(Pretty Boy probably doesn't know much about watches.)
> ask her about Bible.(Any suitable-looking book will do if it's not read.)
> ask her about autograph.(Old paper is what sells it.)
> ask her about locket.(She doesn't know.)
> search peanuts.(You acquire the wine bottle.)
> take weight. take pen.
> open drawer. take gum.
> set clock to 8:55.(as per the handbook)
> s.
Small Vault
> take currency. x it.
> n.
Office
> show currency to Virginia.("looks quite good")
> ask her about heart.(She gives you her hat pin. "You may want to unscrew it.")
> x pin. unscrew pin. x bauble. x needle.
> n. d. n.
Tellers' Area
> open cupboard. take collar. take book.
> s. d. n.
Boiler Room
> take cheap watch. take crowbar.
> s.
Basement
> x boards. pry boards with crowbar.
> e.
Crawlspace
> x soldiers. x scrap.(old paper)
> x decayed boot.(sticky)
> touch decayed boot.(It falls apart, leaving a roughly rectangular and sticky piece of leather.)
> take leather. take scrap.
> x dress. take rhinestones.
> x pan.(rectangular)
> x sail.(squarish and smells of the sea)
> take all.
> put leather on book.(It's now a leather bound book.)
> open wine. pour wine on sail
> take artwork. x it.
> sign paper.(using the pen)
> chew gum. put gum on rhinestones.(They're now sticky.)
> put stones on collar.(It's now a shiny collar.)
> w. n.
Boiler Room
> put lead in pan. put tin in pan.
> take coal. put it in boiler.
> push starter.(The man rolls away from the heat.)
> put pan in boiler.(The tin and lead melt into a molten alloy.)
> take pan.(You don't get burnt.)
> z.(The metal cools into an ingot.)
> x ingot. take it.
> s. u. u. s.
Office
It never hurts to get a second opinion, right?
> show ingot. show collar. show bauble.
> show currency. show artwork.
> show signature. show book. show watch.
> n. d.
Bank Lobby
> give locket to Pretty.
> give ingot to Pretty.(−1)
> z. z. z. z.
> give collar to Pretty.(−1)
> z. z. z. z.
> give bauble to Pretty.(−1)
> z. z. z. z.
> give currency to Pretty.(−1)
> z. z. z. z.
> give artwork to Pretty.(−1)
> z. z. z. z.
> give signature to Pretty.(−1)
> z. z. z. z.
> give book to Pretty.(−1)
> z. z. z. z.
> give watch to Pretty.(−1)
> e.
Outside the Bank
> enter car. SPACESPACESPACE
Hogg is upset with the fakes. Chief Slaughter is pleased, but you're not. Your boss, Venus, wanted you to get all five couples to express their love!
One person in each couple wears a heart. Bring them an object emblematic of their love and HEARKEN to their story, to empower that object with their feelings and give it to the one they love! Also EMPATHIZE people to figure out who loves who. HELP VENUS to repeat this messsage.
*** At least Slaughter was happy! ***
> restart
Part 3: Help Venus
Roadside
>> SPACESPACE
> x Venus. x me.
> enter car.
"Tell everyone at the bank, happy Valentine's Day!"
>> SPACE
Outside the Bank
> x widower.(has heart on lapel)
> empathize widower.(His name is Marty. He was frustrated with bills, then his son shouts, "She's coming!")
> look under porch.(locket obtained)
> w.
Bank Lobby
>> SPACE
Pretty Boy gives you the list and instructions.
> empathize Pretty.(A young woman visits him in prison. She hasn't given up on him. He keeps a locket hidden.)
> hearken Pretty.(The story of his love must be told by another.)
> empathize cleaner.(He's Jay. One rich client, a woman, appears in his memories often. He works night after night, building up a stack of cash.)
> empathize wealthy.(She's Florence, a writer. When the cleaner talks to her, she smiles.)
> empathize student.(She's Jean. She pointed out constellations to a smiling young man.)
> n.
Tellers' Area
> empathize woman.(She's Luisa. She chased after a man who stole a painting from her, joyful that someone found her work worth risking jailtime for.)
> s. u.
Landing
> empathize youth.(He's Amos, who helps another student with her homework. Then he finds an old astrolabe in an antique shop.)
> take astrolabe.
> hearken Amos.(using the astrolabe)
>> SPACE(to begin flashback)
Classroom (as Amos)
> x Jean. talk to Jean.(He starts to tutor her.)
Night Time (as Amos)
> x stars. talk to Jean.(She wants to be a scientist like her mom.)
>> SPACE
Landing
Amos confesses his love for Jean, and the astrolabe pulses.
> d.
Bank Lobby
> give astrolabe to Jean.(+❤)
> u. s.
Office
> remove boots.(Virginia now knows you as the undercover cop.)
> empathize her.(As young girl, she pleads for a pair of boys to stop fighting.)
> hearken Virginia.(She has a story, but her defenses are up. You need to crack her emotional armor.)
> n. d. d.
Basement
> empathize woman.(She's Fran. She remembers a man in black with his son, and also buying a Tiffany watch.)
> open mouth. take watch.
> n.
Boiler Room
> take hammer and cheap watch.
> empathize man.(He's Tom, infatuated with a fierce female artist.)
> s. u. u. s.
Office
> pry nail with hammer. x painting.
> n. d. n.
Tellers' Area
Luisa exclaims that she painted the painting, and demands to know if you're working with the man who stole it from her gallery.
> hearken Luisa.(using the painting)
>> SPACE(to begin flashback)
Farm
> x me. x potato. paint it.
She painted that potato over and over until its evil was revealed.
>> SPACE
Tellers' Area
The painting pulses, but only partly. The story isn't finished.
> s. d. n.
Boiler Room
> hearken Tom.(with the partly imbued painting)
>> SPACE(to begin flashback)
Gallery
Tom was looking for something real, and finally found it in the painting.
> x painting. x me. take painting.
He knew he likes her and vice-versa but didn't have the words and he ran.
>> SPACE
Boiler Room
The painting's story is complete.
> s. u. n.
Tellers' Area
> give painting to Luisa.(+❤)
> s. e.
Outside the Bank
> hearken Marty.(using the Tiffany watch)
>> SPACE(to begin flashback)
Garden
Marty remembers being chastized at the state of his garden by Fran, and her learning about his wife's death. She runs a nearby flower shop and will help.
> x Fran. x vegetables.
> talk to Fran.
She bought the watch for him. She wants to make his life better.
>> SPACE
Outside the Bank
The Tiffany watch is now imbued with Marty's love.
> w. d.
Basement
> give Tiffany watch to Fran.(+❤)
> dial 55, dial 76, dial 96.
> s.
Large Vault
> take cash. n. u.
Bank Lobby
Jay reacts to the cash in your hand.
> hearken Jay.(using the cash)
>> SPACE(to begin flashback)
Grand Staircase
> scrub stairs.(Florence arrived.)
> x Florence. talk to her.
He thinks she hates his cooking yet still likes him, likes him for who he is. He fell in love and now wants to impress her.
>> SPACE
Bank Lobby
The cash is now imbued.
> give cash to Florence.(Pretty Boy objects.)
> give cheap watch to Pretty.(−1. He goes east.)
> give cash to Florence.(+❤)
> u. s.
Office
> ask Virginia about Pretty Boy.
> ask Virginia about locket.
> open locket.
> show locket to her.(You tell her one of the robbers dropped it. She seems thoughtful.)
> hearken Virginia.(using the locket)
Pretty Boy was once Ashley and his father was an unpleasant drunkard.
>> SPACE(to begin flashback)
Snowy Path (as Virginia)
> x Ashley. talk to him.(He was fighting because they were making fun of his pa.)
County Prison (as Virginia, years later)
> x Ashley. x chains. x me.
> talk to him.(He's lost hope and tells her to forget him. But she can't.)
>> SPACE
Office
The locket now pulses with Virginia's story.
> n. d.
Bank Lobby
> give locket to Pretty.(+❤)
After five couples have admitted their love, a trumpet summons you to ASCEND when outside.
> e.
Outside the Bank
> ascend.
Olympus
>> SPACESPACESPACESPACESPACE
In Mount Olympus, you shrink back into your natural cherubic form. Below, you see the couples unite and the robbers defeated.
> x Venus. talk to Venus.
>> SPACESPACE
Hogg and other gangmembers face off against Slaughter and her cops, but somehow, Hogg and Slaughter decide to go out on a dinner date together to the astonishment of everyone else.
Venus has the last word.
*** You suppose that's true ***
So, did you like leading a Hogg to Slaughter? I did.
Extras
Characters
You are Cooper "Coop" Johnson. The game initially presents you as a young man aspiring to join Hogg's criminal gang. Later, it is revealed that you're an undercover cop working for Chief Slaughter. But that also proves to be a facade, since you're really a cherub in the service of Venus, the goddess of love.
Hogg leads the Pigiron gang but doesn't participate in the bank heist directly. He is your "boss" for the first run through the game. Other crooks are with him when he's around.
Pretty Boy (real name: Ashley) leads the heist and is stationed in the bank lobby where he watches over three civilians. Give all the treasures (or forgeries) to him. He's also missing his locket and secretly in love with Virginia.
Jackrabbit is stationed on the landing. He looks frail, but he's actually the strongest gang member. He's also a psychic.
Baby Face is the gang member stationed in the basement. He's only sixteen and has a notebook of poems and stories he's collected from elsewhere.
Junior is Hogg's depraved and inept son. He's stationed outside the bank to watch over the car and the widower.
Virginia is the bank president in her office. She's secretly in love with Ashley.
Jay Gatz is the threadbare cleaner in the lobby. He's secretly in love with Florence.
Florence is the wealthy young woman in the lobby. She's secretly in love with Jay.
Jean is the high school student in the lobby. She's very nervous and secretly in love with Amos.
Luisa is the angry-looking woman in the tellers' area. She's an artist and secretly in love with Tom.
Tom is the stern-looking man in the boiler room. He's secretly in love with Luisa.
Fran is the scruffy-looking woman in the basement. She's secretly in love with Marty.
Amos is the tall youth on the landing. He's secretly in love with Jean.
Marty is the young widower outside the bank. He's secretly in love with Fran.
Chief Slaughter is the local police chief. She is your "boss" for the second run through the game. Other officers are with her when she's around.
Venus is the Goddess of Love and the Morning Star. She is your boss for the third run through the game.
Mentioned:
Edith Wharton, Sui Sin Far, Marcel Proust, Margery Williams, Khalil Gibran, Langston Hughes, F. Scott Fitzgerald, TS Eliot, and Virginia Woolf are quoted in Baby Face's notebook.
Minerva, Homer, Saint Peter, and Shakespeare are represented in the large vault's statuary.
The Parker sisters are Jack's aunts, a group of three mystics. They're probably based on the Fox sisters who helped found the Spiritualist movement.
Apollo and Cerberus (and maybe other mythological characters) are namedropped in your internal monologues. This a subtle hint that you know them well.
Credits
This is the response to ABOUT:
In this game, you can use TALK TO to talk to others. Your goal is to do what the boss wants.
This game was written by mathbrush.
It was beta tested by lionstooth, rh, Hidnook, Doug Egan, N. Cormier, max fog, jkj juio, andrewj, Tobias V. I. Langhoff, E. Joyce, Brett Witty, Tabitha, and Daniel Stelzer. Some testers had brilliant ideas I ended up not having time to implement.
If you need a reminder about your duties, type HELP.
Endings
You have given up.
if you GIVE UP.
What would have happened if you had all the real treasures?
if you deliver a mixture of treasures and fakes to Pretty Boy, then enter the car.
At least Hogg was happy!
if you give all eight treasures to Pretty Boy.
At least Slaughter was happy!
if you give all eight forgeries to Pretty Boy.
You suppose that's true
if you get five couples to declare their love for each other on this Valentine's Day.
Note that you are not willing to ASCEND unless all five couples have declared their love. There is no early ascension ending.
Inventory
🐷 When Hogg is your boss, give all the treasures to Pretty Boy. All the treasures are on your list.
👮♂️ When Slaughter is your boss, you don't need any treasures. Instead, give all the forgeries to Pretty Boy.
💘 When Venus is your boss, you need to imbue tokens of love (locket, cash, painting, Tiffany watch, and astrolabe) and then give them to the appropriate person.
Treasures
an antique locket. Acquire it by looking under the porch when outside the bank.
💘 When Venus is your boss, open then show the locket to Virginia in her office, then hearken her with it. After her story is told, give the imbued locket to Pretty Boy.
a bar of silver. It's in the medium vault. Unlock the vault with the giant key.
a stack of cash. It's in the large vault. To open the vault's combination lock, dial the three numbers that Jackrabbit tells you when you ask him about the cash. (This is hinted at by the handbook's interdiction against combination locks near psychics.)
💘 When Venus is your boss, show the cash to Jay in the lobby, then hearken him with it. After his story is told, give any forgery (such as the dollar timepiece) to Pretty Boy. While he's not in the lobby to object, give the imbued cash to Florence.
a jewelled brooch. It's the "metallic gleam" behind the nailed shutters in the meeting room. Pry the nails with the claw hammer and open the shutters.
a striking painting. Acquire it in the office by prying the nail there with the claw hammer.
💘 When Venus is your boss, bring the painting to Luisa in the tellers' area and hearken her with it. After her story is told, take the partly-imbued painting to the boiler room and hearken Tom with it. When his story is told, return to Luisa and give the fully-imbued painting to her.
a diamond necklace. To find it, search the butter that's in the refrigerator in the teller's area.
a Tiffany watch. Acquire it by opening the mouth of the scruffy-looking woman in the basement.
💘 When Venus is your boss, take the watch from Fran in the basement, then go outside the bank and hearken Marty with it. When his story is told, return to the basement and give the imbued watch back to Fran.
a sealskin Bible. Acquire it by searching the stern-looking man in the boiler room.
an autograph of Peter the Great. After opening the shutters in the meeting room (see hammer), examine the overstuffed chair in the better light to notice uneven stitching. Cut the chair with the letter opener to find a folded slip of paper. Take the paper; it's the autograph you were looking for.
Forgeries
When Slaughter is your boss, you must build most of the forgeries using found items, then give them to Pretty Boy instead of the corresponding treasure.
a bundle of unfit currency.
👮♂️ Take this forgery of the stack of cash from inside the small vault. To unlock the small vault, in the office, set the clock to 8:55. This action is hinted at in the handbook.
👮♂️ Make this forgery of the striking painting by opening the bottle of wine then pouring the wine onto the sail. The wine-stained cloth is your "artwork".
👮♂️ To make this forgery of the diamond necklace, first chew the gum, then put the gum onto the rhinestones to make them sticky, then put the stones onto the dog collar.
an ingot of alloyed metal.
👮♂️ To make this ingot in the boiler room, open the boiler, put the tin soldiers and the paperweight into the pan, put the coal into the boiler, push the starter (to light the coal), put the pan into the boiler (to melt the tin and lead together), take the hot pan out of the boiler (with your bare hand!), then wait for the ingot to cool.
Other items
some boots. You're wearing them.
👮♂️ In the office, remove your boots as a secret signal to Virginia that you're the undercover cop.
a checklist. Pretty Boy gives this list to you when you first enter the bank lobby.
🐷 When Hogg is your boss, find every treasure on the list and give them all to Pretty Boy in the lobby. Feel free to ask Jackrabbit on the landing about any of the items; he may have helpful hints.
👮♂️ When Slaughter is your boss, find or make a forgery of every treasure on the list and give all the forgeries to Pretty Boy. Don't try to make a forgery of the locket; you can still give that as before. Feel free to ask Virginia in her office about any of the items; she may have ideas on what might work as a suitable substitute treasure.
a giant key. It's in the teller's area.
🐷 In the lobby, unlock the vault with the key.
an employee handbook. It's in the cupboard in the teller's area.
🐷👮♂️💘 Read the handbook repeatedly to get hints about how to open the vaults.
the support of Robin Johnson, Ville Lavonius, Andrew Schultz, Kenneth Hon, Carl Muckenhoupt, Mark Musante, Phil Tatro, Allyson Gray, Daniel Stelzer, and Tabitha;
the generous support of Janice M Eisen, Matthew Foxley, Thomas Insel, Brian Long, and Andy Volk;
