Key & Compass presents:
Everybody Loves a Parade
by Cody Sandifer

Everybody Loves a Parade is a TADS 2 interactive fiction game and is © 1997, 1999 by Cody Sandifer. At the 1997 XYZZY Awards, this game was a finalist in both the Best NPCs and Best Puzzles categories.

You play as a woman driving a moving van across the United States to her new job as New York City's Assistant to the Chief Engineer. Your gas runs out when you arrive at Chewton, Arizona which is having its 40th annual rock festival, and they don't mean music. They're celebrating actual rocks. And you spent your last money on tacos. How are you going to get out of here?

This solution is by David Welbourn, and is based on Release 2.3 of the game.


ask Satanfor boost throwat jars jump train out Heaven Hell GiantSack RodentHeaven Mound ofQuartz Jars ofPebbles TremendousBoulder GravelFloat Garage PaintShop MinimallEntrance RockMuseum Move-ItVan Pub Laundromat UniformShop Beinga Hobo Mid-air Limbo pushbutton look underhood fix object in out z

Brief Walkthrough

If you just want to reach the winning ending as quickly as possible, this is the walkthrough for you.

Move-It Van

> open ashtray. take coin. out. w.

Jars of Pebbles

> search hedge. throw wallet at jar.


> z. (Repeat waiting until the angelic chorus achieves the perfect note.)

> take note. ask God about note.

Continue waiting, if necessary, until the author shows up and gives you the wallet back and a button.

> push button.

Jars of Pebbles

> w. s. e.

Rock Museum

> look under table. unlock case. open case. take rock.

> w. w.

Paint Shop

> open door. put rock in machine. close door.

> push red. push yellow. open door. take rock.

> e. n. e. e.

Tremendous Boulder

> throw rock at juggler. take dollars. (+15)

> e. s.


> give note to bikers. (+10)

> open bag. take flask. take sawdust.

> n. w. w. w. s. sw.


> put sawdust in puddle. put coin in vertical slot. (+10)

> take quarters. ne. n. e.

Jars of Pebbles

> buy soda. drink soda. put whiskey in can. (+10)

> w. s. s.

Uniform Shop

> drink cocktail. z. steal smock. (+10)

> n. n.

Mound of Quartz

> wear smock. sell dogs. (+10)

> e. e. e. s.


You need to have a reason to give gin to the old man. It's not enough to know that he wants it.

> take apple. give flask to old man. buy gin.

> give gin to old man. take apple.

> n. e.


> tell man about pickup. hit man. hit man. (+15)

> put apple on desk. (+10)

> tell man about pickup. kiss man. (+10)

*** You have won ***

Verbose Walkthrough

Move-It Van

> info. x me. i.

> x wallet. open wallet. look in wallet. x atm card.

> x wrappers. smell wrappers. x dashboard. x upholstery.

> x seat. look under seat. x fond memory.

> x lighter. x ashtray. open it. take coin. x coin.

> open compartment. x map. read map.

> smell compartment. x label.

> fold map. stretch. fold map. put map in compartment.

> x garden. x door. x windshield. look through it.

> x radio. turn on radio.

> x key. take key. (No need. Chewton is loaded with honesty.)

> out.

Tremendous Boulder

> x boulder. x guards. x clowns. x midgets.

> x van. x parade. x crossing. x train.

> x juggler. x hat. x dollars. x balls. (Note that the balls are orange.)

> take dollars. (not that easily)

> ask guards about boulder. ask guards about parade.

> ask guards about juggler. ask guards about Chewton.

> take boulder. climb boulder. push boulder. jump over boulder.

> take van. climb van. undo.

> take parade. jump over moon.

> w.

Jars of Pebbles

> x soldiers. x badges. x officer. x tank. x puppet show.

> x jars. (They warn you against throwing anything at them.)

> x hedge. search hedge. x bag. open bag. x flask.

> x vendor. x stand. read sign. (Hamburger $2; Soda $1; Licorice $1.)

> ask vendor about burger. ask vendor about soda. ask vendor about licorice.

> take tank. enter tank.

> climb tankortouch tank. jump over tank.

If the buzzing flies are around:

> x flies. hit flies. take stunned fly. x it.

> w.

Mound of Quartz

> x banker, x quartz. x cigar. x supermodel.

> x car. x unfortunates. ask banker about quartz. (You're not a cigar.)

> ask supermodel about banker. ask unfortunates about unfortunates.

> x cart. x umbrella. x corn dogs.

> sell dogs. (You don't seem trustworthy.)

> x gas station. x mall.

> x toupees. count toupees.

After a prudish gentleman orders you to fetch him a hot toddy:

> fetch hot toddy. lick boots. massage back.

> s.

Minimall Entrance

> x machine. put card in machine. (You only have $9.98 in your account.)

> take card. put card in wallet.

> e.

Rock Museum

> x case. read plaque. (Mayor found it in his yard.)

> x rock. (Three inches diameter and spherical.)

> x table. look under table. (You find a key.)

> x key. unlock case with key. open case. take rock.

> x board. (Three notices: one for the rock-of-the-month club, another from a dealer in rocks and rare coins who says to call 555-1419, and one offers a reward for missing round and grey pet "Fluffy".)

> x exhibits. x rocks.

> x pellets. take pellets. x sandstone. take sandstone.

> x Cher. kiss Cher. take Cher.

> w. w.

Paint Shop

> x cans. smell paint. x counter. look behind counter.

> x machine. x compartment. x door.

> x red button. x yellow button. x sign.

> x salesman. ask salesman about paint.

> ask salesman about machine. (You get any two things painted free!)

Experimentation in other play sessions will show that pushing the red button paints something red, that pushing the yellow button paints something yellow, and that a hamster cleans the machine afterwards.

Unfortunately, you only get two paint samples and you need them both to paint the valuable rock orange:

> open door. put rock in compartment. close door.

> push red button. push yellow button. (The rock is now orange.)

> open door. take rock.

Don't try buying the hamster until you've painted something first!

> ask man about hamster. buy hamster. (He gives you a dead gerbil instead.)

> x gerbil.

> e. n. e.

Jars of Pebbles

> throw wallet at jars. (The soldiers kill you and you arrive at...)


> x angels. x cherubim. x castles.

> x clouds. x God. x notes.

> ask God about heaven. ask God about God. ask God about note.

Jesus will wander in at a random time. Wait until he's here or skip this part.

> x Jesus. ask god about Jesus. ask Jesus about tea.

The author will eventually show up and give you back whatever you threw at the jars and a button. This seems to be randomized, so you're going to have to wait until he shows up.

> x button. x author. ask author about author.

> ask God about author. ask God about pudding.

If you're carrying the dead gerbil, eventually you feel a ghostly pull to the southwest.

> sw.

Rodent Heaven

> x souls. x effigy. take souls. ne.


> take note. x perfect note.

> push button. (You return to...)

Jars of Pebbles

> e.

Tremendous Boulder

> throw rock to juggler. take dollars. (+15)

> e.

Gravel Float

> x gravel. x pickup. x hood. look under the hood.

Giant Sack

> x object. take it. fix object.

Gravel Float

> x crowd. x pub. x repair shop.

> n. x gateway. take pickup. i. x ticket.

> e.


> x rags. x parts. x vehicles. x Oldsmobile. x jack. x legs.

> look under Oldsmobile. x jeans. x muscles. x boots. x blood.

> enter car. (Amusing, but it doesn't help you.)

> x desk. x orders. x magazine. x centerfold.

> close magazine. (You couldn't stand to touch it.)

> look under desk. x leprechaun. ask leprechaun about leprechaun.

> hit man. (It's the mayor's car. Mr Bono wants his car by 5pm to pick up his mistress from Albuquerque or else the mechanic isn't paid.)

> hit man. (+15. Put some food for lunch on the desk and then he'll listen to you.)

> w. s.


> x old man. give gerbil to old man. (He wants booze.)

> give flask to old man. (He only wants gin.)

> ask old man about gin. (Only 8 bucks!)

> x bartender. x bar. look behind bar. x booze.

> x stools. x table. x apple. x bikers. x sawdust.

> ask bartender about gin. ask bartender about bikers.

> ask bartender about old man. ask bartender about Chewton.

> ask bartender about whiskey.

CAUTION: Don't give things to the bikers; they'll destroy them.

> ask bikers about bikers. (Central biker gives you a book.)

> x book. read book. sing.

> give note to bikers. (+10; bikers leave; apple now near old man.)

Because our inventory is full, drop a few nonessential items.

> drop fly. drop book. drop ticket.

> take apple. (The old man's leering prevents you.)

> take flask. (To empty the paper bag.)

> take sawdust. (Putting it in the paper bag.)

> n. w. w.

Jars of Pebbles

> buy soda. drink soda. (You drink half of it.)

> pour whiskey in can. (+10; "Whiskey 'n fizzie")

> x cocktail.

> w. s. sw.


The slippery puddle blocks access to the far machine.

> x washers. x dryers. x puddle. x laundry. x machine.

> take laundry. climb washers. climb dryers. (Too dangerous.)

> put sawdust in puddle.

CAUTION: Putting your ATM card into the horizontal slot makes it disappear forever.

> x machine. x vertical slot. x horizontal slot.

> x receptacle. read lettering. (Made in 1979.)

> put coin in vertical slot. (+10; four quarters shoot out.)

> take quarters.

For the lolz:

> enter washer. enter dryer. take sawdust.

> ne. s.

Uniform Shop

> x uniforms. x curtain. x register. x rack.

> x smock. ($15 price, logo of smiling hot dog.)

> x tailor. open register.

> ask tailor about smock. (He can't hear you over the player.)

> x player. x sewing machine. x wheel.

> x bell-bottom-o-matic. x disco ball. dance.

> drink cocktail. z. (You feel capable of slightly immoral acts.)

> take smock. (+10.)

> n. w.

Paint Shop

While drunk:

> hit man.

> x magic. explore magic. x hypermatter.

> e. n.

Mound of Quartz

If the dogs aren't on the cart, put them there before trying to sell them.

> wear smock. sell dogs. (+10; you make $6!)

> ask unfortunates about Fluffy.

> e.

Jars of Pebbles

Now that you've stolen the smock, you won't go to Heaven now.

> throw wallet at jars. (You go to...)


You end up here if you throw something at the jars after you steal the smock.

> x crowd. x light. x Liberace. x fairy tales. x Satan.

> ask Satan about hell. kiss Liberace. kiss Satan.

> u. (You need a boost.)

> ask Satan for boost. (He returns the thing you threw at the jars. You return to...)

Gravel Float

> s.


> take apple. (while wearing smock; still ineffective.)

> buy gin. x gin. give gin to old man. (He passes out.)

> take apple. kick man.

> n. e.


> put apple on desk. (+10; mechanic eats it and tosses the magazine into a trash can.)

> tell mechanic about pickup.

> kiss mechanic. (+10)

***You have won***

[Note: If you restart the game, type 'fun stuff' for a list of fun things to try.]



This list is the response to the command fun stuff:

Did you try to...


Individual characters:

Groups of characters:

Notable Cameos:

Notable Mentions:


  1. You may be stuck indefinitely, unable to act, if you find yourself in Limbo. To reach this "ending", jump train from Tremendous Boulder, then go out when the train stops several turns later.
  2. You may be stuck indefinitely, unable to leave "Being a Hobo". To reach this "ending", jump train from Tremendous Boulder, and stay on the train when it stops the first time. Y'see, the train never stops a second time.
  3. You may end up living a life of unfortunate predicaments, including marrying a distant cousin. To reach this ending, climb van from Tremendous Boulder.
  4. You have won if you get the parade moving, your van filled up, and back on your way to New York City with a new traveling companion.


Some items can be altered with "(painted red)", "(painted yellow)", or "(painted orange)" via the Paint Shop machine.


In a total of several turns, you have achieved a score of your-score points out of a possible 100.

Thank You to my Patreon supporters

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