Eat Me is a Glulx interactive fiction game written with Inform 7 and is © 2017 by Chandler Groover. It was an entry in IF Comp 2017 where it took 2nd place. At the 2017 XYZZY Awards, it won both the Best Writing and Best Implementation awards and was a finalist in six other categories (Best Game, Best Setting, Best Puzzles, Best NPCs, Best Individual Puzzle, and Best Individual NPC).
In this game, you play as an extraordinarily hungry child with a hole in your stomach. You've been imprisoned in this dungeon cell long enough. Eat your way to freedom, my darling. Everything in this castle is edible. Eat everything you find. Eat until you can forget what hunger even means.
This solution is by David Welbourn, and is based on Release 1 of the game.
Have you played interactive fiction before?
> yes
Dungeon (south cell)
> x me. i. x stomach.
> x manacles. eat manacles. g.
> x skeleton. search it.
> x chains. eat chains.
> x door. eat door. n.
Dungeon
> x guard. eat guard.
> x flames. eat flames. x chair. eat chair.
> x rack. eat rack. x wheel. eat wheel.
> x corpses. eat corpses.
> x cake. eat cake. w.
Dungeon (west cell)
> x onions. eat onions. i. blow. (No one's here to cry.)
> x corpse. x spoon. eat spoon.
> eat corpse. g. g. e.
Dungeon
> x doorway. eat cake. e.
Dungeon (east cell)
> x maiden. eat maiden. g.
> x toothpicks. eat toothpicks. x corpse. eat corpse.
> w. n.
Undercroft
> x master. x stool. x breastplate.
> eat stool. eat bees.
> look. eat munster.
> w.
Creamery
> x mushrooms. eat mushrooms. x cream. eat cream.
> eat bags. x body. eat vats. e. e.
Armory
> x brie. eat brie. i. x rind. w.
Undercroft
> eat master. g. g. g. (+1)
> e.
Armory
> x cantal. x gloucester. x stilton. x leicester.
> x morbier. x spermyse. x maroilles.
> x cheeses. x others.
> u.
Eastern Tapestry / Eastern Chamber
> x tapestry. eat it. g. g. g.
> s.
Banquet Hall
They won't let you eat anything, nor them.
> x earl. x dame. x frypan. x caviar.
> eat eggs. eat dame.
> s.
Kitchen
You can eat the chefs and footmen, but they're instantly replaced.
> x chefs. eat chef. x footmen. eat footman.
> u.
Pantry
Note that you can only wear one outfit at a time.
> x eggplants. x turnips.
> eat eggplant. eat brie. eat eggplant.
> i. x livery. eat livery.
> eat turnip. i. x uniform.
> n.
Storeroom
> x tins. eat tins. g. g. g. g. (They're all gone.)
> s. d.
Kitchen
> eat chefs. (Chefs and footmen all gone.)
> look. eat sauces. eat flour.
> n.
Banquet Hall
You'll be forced to stay to watch the drama as the quartet eat each other. Just wait it out until only Mistress Caviar is left.
> z. z. z. z. z. z.
> eat caviar. eat earl. eat dame.
> eat frypan. g. g. (+1)
The Hall collapses; you are now in...
Kitchen
> w.
Castle Gateway
> eat drawbridge. (too tough)
> eat chain. (too high)
> n.
Courtyard
> x jenny. eat jenny. (She's moving too fast.)
> eat cabbages. g. g. (Jenny doesn't mind.)
We need to plant Jenny, somehow.
> n.
Balance Gallery
> x golden door. x floor. e. u.
Bower
> eat clouds. x moon. x lady. eat lady. (Ghost, barely taste.)
> eat moon. g.
> w.
Scriptorium
There's more books you can read here, but you may not eat them.
> x bookcases. x appyl. x pokerounce. x vyneagyr.
> w.
Solar
> x crow. x omelettes. eat omelettes.
> x brazier. eat brazier. (You're disuaded.)
> eat couch. eat pillow.
> eat cage. eat cage. (The crow flies east, wanting guts.)
> e. s.
Balcony
You see the crow fly south beyond the walls.
> eat wafer. g.
> n. w. s.
Baron's Cabinet
> x baron. eat baron.
> x basket. eat basket. (He eats you, thinking you're a turnip.)
First Stomach
In the stomaches, you must examine or eat something to progress. In the first three stomaches, it doesn't really matter what you eat or examine.
> eat cart.
Second Stomach
> eat cottage.
Third Stomach
> eat heaps.
Fourth Stomach
If you hesitate here and do something else, such as examine the figure, you'll be swallowed into an empty void called "Val sans Retour" where you'll need to eat the woman who arrives a few turns later. Eating the woman will also finish this course.
> eat figure. (+1)
Baron's Cabinet
> x fire. eat fire. s.
Fireplace
> eat sauce. g. d.
Great Hall (south end)
> x cow. eat cow. g. g.
> enter cow.
Great Hall (inside a cow)
> x chitterlings. x glands.
> eat chitterlings. (You're now "slathered with gore".)
> x gore. eat glands.
> out. u. n. n. d.
Western Tapestry
> x tapestry. x guard. eat guard. (Can't.)
> eat milk. eat grates.
You and the guard fall to...
Creamery
The vat has moistened the guard's rind.
> eat guard.
> e. e. u. w. w. s.
Great Hall (north end)
> x cow. eat cow. milk udder. eat udder.
> x udder. squeeze udder.
> n. e. s. s. e. u. w.
Gatehouse
> eat swordfish. eat guard. g. (He's gone.)
> eat table.
> eat chain. g. g. g. (The chain breaks.)
> x window. eat night. eat star.
> w.
Garderobe
> eat guard. (He falls through the hole instead.)
> eat bench.
> e. e. d. w. s.
Fondue Fens
> x crow. (It picks the gore from you, and now follows you.)
> x corpses. x skewers. x bogs.
With the crow, go to the south end of the cow:
> n. n. n. w. u. s. s. d.
Great Hall (south end)
The crow flies into the cow and applies pressure to the udder. Now go to the cow's north end:
> u. n. n. d. s.
Great Hall (north end)
> eat udder. g. g. g. (+1)
The avalanche of milk pushes you into the moat.
Moat
> x legs. eat legs.
> eat mound. u. n. n.
Courtyard
> spit. (Jenny is now planted.)
> eat Jenny. (Her vines prevent you.)
> n. e. u. w. s.
Eastern Tapestry
> u. w. s.
Balcony
> x courtyard. jump.
Courtyard (atop Jenny Lettucehead)
> eat jenny. g. g. g. g.
Inside Jenny Lettucehead
> x roots. eat roots. eat leaves.
> x heart. eat heart. (+1)
Courtyard
> n. e. d. w. s. w.
Dungeon (west cell)
> eat onions.
Now go directly to Bower before the odor can dissipate.
> e. n. e. u. u.
Bower
> blow. eat lady. g. g. g. (+1)
The waves push you to the Undercroft.
Undercroft
Both the Creamery and Armory are now gone!
> s. e.
Dungeon (east cell)
> eat maiden. (You now find a secret door, south!)
> s.
Buttery
> x barrel.
> eat dragon. eat bear. eat harlequin.
> u. w. n. n.
Balance Gallery
> z. (The chapel is now open.)
> n.
Chapel ⇒ Chvpel ⇒ Cvpel ⇒ Cvpen ⇒ Cven ⇒ Oven
> x ice cream. eat ice cream. g. g. g.
> x popsicles. eat popsicles. g.
> x fur. x cup. eat cup. g. g. g.
At some point, the Chapel has become an Oven. It matters little what you do now.
> x me. x spectators.
*** deliciously ever after ***
> credits
Eat Me is copyright 2017 by Chandler Groover. It may be distributed for free, but not sold or included in any for-profit collection without written permission from the author. It was made for the 2017 Interactive Fiction Competition.
Many thanks to Brian Rushton, Daphne Dieterich, DJ Hastings, Charles La Shure, Hanon Ondricek, Eli S., Viktor Sobol, and David White for beta-testing. Nathanael Nerode's Gender Options extension made the programming for pronouns much more flexible.
The game's cover image is modified from Summer (1572) by Giuseppe Arcimboldo. Recipes in the scriptorium were adapted from a 15th-century collection, Gentyll manly Cokere and copyd of the Sergent to the kyng, preserved by Samuel Pepys in the 17th century, and archived by Gode Cookery.
If you want more edible castles, you should read The Vision of Mac Conglinne.
This is not the sort of game where you're taking and dropping things. Instead, you eat things. Sometimes what you eat stays in your mouth until you blow or spit it out. Sometimes you wear part of what you ate.
You've eaten count/6 courses. The courses are:
Finally, dessert is served in the Chapel. Bon appetit.
This walkthrough was funded via Patreon with