In this game, you once again play as Alex attending yet another New Year's party at your boyfriend Paul's. What a year it's been. The world now has Alien Tech™, and your state now has gay marriage! Paul tells you he's invited his uncle Wally and some Dagon cultists from next door and asks you to behave yourself this time.
This solution is by David Welbourn, and is based on Release 1 of the game.
> tape hook to pole. x pole hook.(To FISH something.)
> fish pool. x corpse.
You'll need both hands free to get over the wall so put everything in the bag and wear it:
> put all in bag. wear bag. climb wall.
> x plank. e.
> x cart.(Need to unlock it with a swipe card.)
> x gate. x snake.(Ate something square.)
> open gate.(It's locked.)
> give mouse to snake.(You get a swipe card.)
> x card. sw.
> unlock cart with card. enter cart.
> ne. n.(You use the cart to smash through the gate.)
> out. x grave. x coffin. open coffin.
Oddly, one can't examine the corpse that's already in the coffin.
> take corpse.(You take Wally's corpse out of the bag.)
> put corpse in coffin.(You close the coffin at the same time.)
> enter cart. s. s. sw. w.
> out. put card in bag.
> climb wall.(Save warning.)
Deal with Tony quickly before examining anything:
> take flintlock. shoot Tony.
> search Tony.(Get Uzi and bag of powder.)
> x uzi. x powder.("Dagon Dissolving Powder")
> x Dagon. talk to Dagon.
> put all in bag. climb wall.
> tape plank to plank.(It's now repaired.)
> drop plank.(It's now a ramp.)
> enter cart. w.
You dissolve Dagon into green goo!
In the Swimming Pool (swimming [obviously])
> out. n. n.
> x guests.("DOOM III ROCKS")
> u.(Hear Paul's voice being threatened on your cell phone.)
> look.(Yes, you did go upstairs.)
Take the Uzi and cupcake out of the bag first:
> take uzi. take cupcake.
> open door.
CAUTION: Attempts to flee result in instant death. Examining the bed or cupboard also results in instant death.
> shoot Luke(with Uzi).(Luke is down, but the Uzi jams.)
> throw cupcake at Jack.
*** Happy New Year 2010 ***
I'll add that Paul will brag about you killing a man with a cupcake two games from now, in The Day I saved Elvis.
Paul is your boyfriend and host of this New Year's party. In the next game, The Day I hugged Ghandi, you and Paul will be married.
Wally is Paul's homophobic uncle. He looks rather like Stalin. Although you do stab him, as per the game's title, Wally will return later on in the series to annoy you.
People are still attending Paul's New Year's parties. Why didn't they stay home?
A sleeping pirate is one of the few guests who manages to survive this year.
A Bunch of Cultists from next door have gathered in the garden area.
A snake that eats plastic is at the entrance gate of the golf course. It was engineered with the new Alien Tech™ that was introduced in the last game.
A corpse, who is not Wally, is already in the coffin you open in the cemetery. This doesn't bother you at all.
Dagon is an eldritch tentacle monster summoned by the cultists into the garden area. Shame it's blocking the way back into the house.
Tony is a cultist who tries to kill you in the garden area.
Luke and Jack are cultists who try to kill you in the bedroom.
An undertaker has left a "Back in several minutes" sign at the cemetery that counts down. If you wait for him (by typing over a thousand z's), he will show up and tell you an out-of-game secret.
The governor's daughter was abducted during the three weeks prior to this party.
Arch Stanton has a gravestone in the cemetery.
You have died
if Tony shoots you with his Uzi,
if you attack Dagon directly,
if Luke shoots you with his gun, or
if Jack shoots you with his gun.
Happy New Year 2010
if you rescue Paul from the clutches of the cultists.
Note that if you try going west from the bedroom or examine the bed or the cupboard in the bedroom, you will be shot dead immediately. It's not explicitly stated in these cases whether it's Jack or Luke who does the actual shooting.
a roll of duct tape. It's inside the chest of drawers in the hallway. It has two uses:
Tape the hook hand to the aluminum pole to create a pole hook.
Tape the broken plank to itself to repair it.
an aluminum pole. Acquire it by searching the tools in the Potter Room. Using the duct tape, tape the hook hand to the aluminum pole to make a pole hook.
a hook hand. Take it from the sleeping pirate in the living room. Using the duct tape, tape the hook hand to the aluminum pole to make a pole hook.
a flintlock. Take it from the sleeping pirate in the living room. It has one bullet. Shoot Tony with the flintlock.
a body bag. Acquire it by searching the heap of purses and backpacks in the living room. The body bag is your player's carry-all. You can put all your inventory into the bag. More importantly, you can wear the bag so your hands are free when climbing the wall between the garden area and the golf course.
a knife. It's in the kitchen. When in the garden area, stab Uncle Wally with the knife.
a cupcake. You cooked it and brought it to the party, and now it's in the kitchen. It's hard as a rock. Throw the cupcake at Jack.
a toy mouse. Acquire it by searching the undergrowth in the garden area. Give the mouse to the snake at the entrance gate to the golf course.
a plank. It's on the golf course and broken. Using the duct tape, tape the plank to itself to repair it. Now drop the plank beside the wall to create a ramp.
a pole hook. Make it by taping the hook hand to the aluminum pole with the roll of duct tape; you'll still have some tape remaining. Use the pole hook to fish the pool and thus retrieve Wally's corpse.
Uncle Wally's corpse. Acquire it by fishing the pool with the pole hook after stabbing Wally in the garden area with the knife. Take the corpse to the cemetery and put it in the coffin you find there.
a swipe card. Acquire it by giving the toy mouse to the snake at the golf course's gate entrance. The card unlocks the golf cart.
an Uzi. Find it by searching Tony's corpse. Shoot Luke with the Uzi. Unfortunately, the Uzi jams immediately afterwards.
a bag of strange powder. Find it by searching Tony's corpse. It'll dissolve the eldritch horror, Dagon, but to use it, you'll need to be airborne. Make a ramp with the plank (after fixing it), and drive the golf cart over the wall into the pool. If you're carrying the powder at the time, Dagon will be reduced into chunks of green goo.
a cell phone. It's not listed in your inventory, but near the end of the game, you're told you've had it all along.
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