top

Key & Compass presents:
Conan Kill Everything
by Ian Haberkorn

Conan Kill Everything is a Z-machine interactive fiction game written with Inform 6 and is © 2005 by Ian Haberkorn. The title "Conan Kill Everything" took 2nd place in the mock Stupid Title Competition before the game was even written.

In this short one-room game, you play as Conan with a very large sword, and an evil wizard has just summoned a wildcat to attack you. Your goal is obvious: KILL EVERYTHING.

This solution is by David Welbourn, and is based on Release 2 of the game.

SPOILERS AHEAD. Reading a walkthrough prematurely can sometimes diminish one's enjoyment of an interactive fiction game. Please make an honest effort to play the game before reading this walkthrough.


Walkthrough

Dungeon

Dungeon

Weazle conjures a growling wildcat.

> kill wildcat. (+1)

Weazle conjures a wooden golem.

> kill golem. (+1)

An apple falls. Weazle conjures a little spider.

> kill wizard. (+1; his hat falls)

> kill spider. (It hides in a crack in the ceiling.)

> x table. look in hole.

> take worm. (can't reach)

> kill worm. (can't reach)

> x apple. kill it. eat it. (+1)

> x hat. take it. x saturn. x dials.

> turn dials. push saturn. (+1. The hat vanishes.)

> x fly. z. (Repeat waiting until the fly lands.)

> kill fly. (+1. The spider crawls out of the crack.)

> z. (Repeat waiting until the spider is eating the fly.)

> kill spider. (+1)

> x me. x loincloth. x sword.

> remove loincloth. x pin.

> put pin in hole. (+1; worm dead)

> kill loincloth. (+1)

> kill pin. (+1)

> kill door. (+1; bare wall is left)

> throw sword at torch. (+1)

Darkness

CAUTION: Don't try to take the sword in the darkness; you'll fail.

> kill table. (+1)

> kill sword. (+1)

> kill me. (+1)

*** Conan has died. ***

This is the winning ending.


Extras

Characters

Dungeon characters:

Epilogue characters:

Mentioned:


Credits

This is the response to ABOUT:

About Conan Kill Everything:
This game began as just a title entry into the "Stupid Title Competition". This mock comp was done by Greg Boettcher to test his Spring Thing 2005 web voting system. (www.springthing.net/stc.htm)

It ranked a fabulous second dumbest. When Øyvind Thorsby posted "I want to play Conan Kill Everything!" on the rec.games.int.fiction newsgroup, I somehow felt compelled to produce this, maybe because - if it's too stupid - I can always pretend that it's dumb on purpose...

Thanks to:

About the author:
Old enough to have played the original Scott Adams games on a Commodore VIC 20, I was delighted to find the genre surviving and even flourishing noncommercially today. This is my first attempt at writing IF. By the way, I never watched a Conan movie. It probably shows.

If you have comments, bug reports or suggestions how to make this game even worthier of its stupid title, please email to: email redacted


Endings


Inventory


Score

The response to SCORE is:

He has so far scored your-score out of a possible 15, in several turns.

Points are awarded as follows:


Thank You to my Patreon supporters

This walkthrough is provided free of charge since the work it's based on has less than fifteen locations. Please consider it a thank you for your support!

I create larger walkthroughs too! Please visit my Patreon account if you're interested in helping me create more interactive fiction walkthroughs. I appreciate all the help I can get! Thanks again.


Support me on Ko-fi

Ko-Fi is a way to send me small one-time donations. Every little bit helps, and thank you!