Key & Compass presents:
Another Goddamn Escape the Locked Room Game
by Riff Conner

Another Goddamn Escape the Locked Room Game is a Z-machine interactive fiction game written with Inform 7 and is © 2006 by Riff Conner. It was an entry in IF Comp 2006 where it took 22nd place. At the 2006 XYZZY Awards, it was a finalist in the Best Use of Medium category.

In this escape game intended to be a parody of the genre, you play as someone with amnesia who wakes up in a unfamiliar basement or bomb shelter. Your head is pounding from a massive headache. The steel door in the north wall is locked and has heavy wooden boards nailed across it to emphasize the point. How will you escape and regain your memories?

This solution is by David Welbourn, and is based on Release 1 of the game.

SPOILERS AHEAD. Reading a walkthrough prematurely can sometimes diminish one's enjoyment of an interactive fiction game. Please make an honest effort to play the game before reading this walkthrough.


NorthWall Bathroom WestWall EastWall SouthWall (escape!)


North Wall

> x me. i. (nothing but headache)

I suggest you cure that headache right away, then explore every location thoroughly.

> w. open door. w.


> open cabinet. eat aspirin. (Your headache is half-gone.)

> eat aspirin. (Your headache is gone.)

> x aspirin. x band-aids. take it.

> x mirror. x towel-rod. x towel. take it.

> x toilet. x sink. x faucet. x rust.

> x ceiling. x lamp. x floor. x wall. x door.

> e.

West Wall

> x red box. (Has hammer inside.)

It doesn't matter which order you peel the cans of beans. You won't find the winning can until you've peeled eleven of them.

> open beans. x cans.

> x first can. peel it.

> peel second. peel third. peel fourth.

> peel fifth. peel sixth. peel seventh.

> peel eighth. peel ninth. peel tenth.

> peel eleventh. (You find a scrap of paper.)

> peel twelfth. (+1)

> take scrap. x it. (Coupon for a free crow.)

> open not-beans.

> x chips. take chips.

> x fish. eat fish. (+1)

> n.

North Wall

> x door. x boards. x TV.

> turn on TV. x TV. (+1)

> turn off TV. x outlet. (Only one socket.)

> e.

East Wall

CAUTION: If you want full points, please don't open the photograph's frame right away.

> x desk. open drawer. (locked)

> x tape. take it.

> x fan. take it. x cover. x clip.

> x photograph. take it. x frame.

> x portrait. take it. (A painting of a safe is revealed.)

> drop it.

> x painting. take it. (A real safe is revealed.)

> drop it.

> x safe. (Dial can be spun to a 4-digit number.)

> s.

South Wall

> x cot. x pillow. (You find a fire extinguisher.)

> x pillow. x extinguisher.

> x window. x bars.

> w.

West Wall

> break red box with fire. take hammer. x it.

> w.


While the photo is still in its frame:

> put photo on rod. x mirror. (+1)

Okay, now you can remove the photo:

> take photo. open frame. (You acquire the photo, but the frame is now jammed shut.)

> x frame. (You see your face reflected in the glass.)

> put frame on rod. x mirror. (You see the back of your shirt.)

> remove shirt. x mirror. (You have a back tattoo of a randomized 4-digit number. Remember it!)

> wear shirt.

> e. e.

East Wall

> spin dial to TATTOO-NUMBER. (Safe opens.)

> take all from safe.

> x right half. (For a free bar.)

> x leaflet. (+1. Ad for Kingdom of Loathing.)

> drop leaflet, photo.

> tape left half to right half.

> x coupon. (For a free crowbar via mail or carrier pigeon.)

> take desk.

> s.

South Wall

> put desk on cot. stand on desk.

> x window. (You can now reach it, but not see out of it.)

While standing on the desk on the cot:

> put chips in window. (The crumbs are now on the windowsill; the bag is gone.)

> z. z. z. z. z. (Repeat waiting until a pigeon arrives to peck at the crumbs.)

You cannot GIVE the coupon to the pigeon. You need another method:

> take pigeon. tape coupon to pigeon.

> put pigeon in window.

> stand. stand.

To make several weeks pass, you must knock yourself out:

> hit me with hammer.

It is now weeks later and you have another headache.

> eat aspirin. (You go to the bathroom for water.)


> g. (Your 2nd headache is gone.)

Actually, eat all the aspirin.

> g. ("one more won't hurt you")

> g. g. g. g. g. ("Oog.")

> g. g. g. g. g. ("Maybe you should stop")

> g. g. g. g. g. (You retch into the toilet: "clink".)

> x toilet. take steel key.

> eat aspirin. g. g. g. g.

> g. g. g. g. g.

> g. g. g. g. g.

> g. g. g. g. g.

> g. g. g. g. g.

> g. g. g. g. g. (You retch again: "clank".)

> x toilet. x egg. take it. (+1)

> open egg. (can't)

> e. s.

South Wall

> x pigeon. x crowbar.

> take crowbar. (You untie it and take the pigeon too.)

> pry drawer with crowbar. x brass key. take it.

> close drawer. lock it with brass key.

> unlock it with brass key. (+1)

> w.

West Wall

> hit beans crate with crowbar. (+1; you smash both crates)

> x fragments.

> n.

North Wall

> pry boards with crowbar.

> unplug TV. plug in fan. open cover.

> turn on fan.

> touch blades. (You slice off a hand!)

> open box. (You use every hand-aid and toss the box away.)

> x stump. x hand. x fan. x wrappers.

> take hand. tape hand to stump. (+1)

> plug in TV. (can't: the outlet is shorted out.)

> s.

South Wall

I'm assuming the desk is still on the cot.

> stand on desk.

> put dead pigeon in window. (You do this.)

> put hand in window. (You hear a moaning and wailing outside.)

> stand. stand. n.

North Wall

> xyzzy. (+1)

> guess the verb. (+1)

> unlock door with steel key.

> open door.

You are captured by zombies and you suddenly get all your memories back. Then they eat you.

*** You have won ***

> amusing (then select the Hints menu-item)



This is the Hints menu-item accessed vis AMUSING after you've won the game:


Have you tried...



From a menu-item accessed via the ABOUT command:

Introduction to Another Goddamn Escape the Locked Room Game

This game is basically my reaction to the "Locked Room" Flash games that have become very popular, even though they're almost universally ridiculous -- complete lack of plot, three-pixel-wide hotspots... don't even get me started on the puzzles. Who the heck builds an elaborate combination-locked secret panel underneath their bookshelf for the sole purpose of hiding a screwdriver? I mean, maybe if it were a solid gold screwdriver studded with diamonds, I could see it, but it never is.

Anyway, I designed a satirical version of one of these games, and possibly it will be coded into Flash someday, but in the meantime I needed something to program while learning Inform 7. And then I heard that the IFComp was coming up, so I figured, why not?

So you see, if the puzzles in this game don't make any sense, or the plot is pathetically thin, or perfectly sensible things you try prove impossible, that's on purpose. It's satire! ^_^

Thanks to my beta-testers from Kingdom of Loathing's /dev team (Jick, megrimlock, Marshall, Zair, Werebear, Fnord7, and if I missed anybody you know I still love ya <3), as well as the folks at r.a.i-f for answering my many newb questions.


p.s. It is impossible to put the game in an unwinnable situation (I hope), but there are two ways to die, or three if you count the bad ending. Well, call it four.



North Wall items
South Wall items
East Wall items
West Wall items
Bathroom items
Honorable mention


The response to SCORE is:

You have so far scored your-score out of a possible 11, in several turns.

Points are awarded as follows:

See also this menu-item accessed via ABOUT:

About Points

Unlike most IF games that include points, points are awarded in this game, not for solving puzzles or advancing the plot, but for finding some of the silly comments and easter-eggs I've included here and there -- the sort of stuff that you would normally find in the AMUSING list at the end of the game. Hints on where to find them all will be available once you've beaten the game.

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