Review of "Jesus of Nazareth"

Review by David Welbourn

I haven't played many of Paul's games, but of the few I have played, I like this one the best. This is a shocking admission to make, especially when saying one likes a Panks game (even a little bit) is akin to saying one likes necrophilia (even a little bit).

What did I like about it? I liked that some research obviously went into the game, which made the geography a lot less dull than it could have been. I liked the special version of surrealness that seems to be becoming a de facto standard in any religious game. And I liked that the goals of the game were clear and that I was able to finish it.

However, it must be said, this game isn't for everyone. For example, if you were offended by South Park's Jesus, or by Ghastly's Ghastly Comic's Drunk and Bitter Jesus, then you're going to be offended with this version of Jesus, too. Biblical quotes are used often and poorly, to the point where I ignored them as so much white noise. You might also be put off by more mundane IF concerns such as very long location names, unimplemented scenery, poor paragraph spacing, D&D-style combat, wooden NPCs, the sun rising every few turns, and so on. The flip-flopping between second-person modern English and third-person Old English is wearisome also.

A few quotes from the game, to give you a taste of what to expect:

• But Mary looked at Jesus, replying, 'Rabbi, I have lost my medallion 'round my neck. What good is the flesh if it cannot be adorned with jewelry?'
• Your hit points are now: 251
• Wow! The enemy harod almost crucified you!
• You are walking upon the sandy shores of the Sea of Galilee, spreading to the southwest in a finely curved arc, the expanse of which reaches the town of Tiberias, north of Ammathus.
• Fear not, Zacharias, for thy prayer is heard; and thy wife Elisabeth, shall bear thee a son, and thou shalt call his name John.
• The enemy john missed you badly.
• Jesus drew Mary forth and kissed her on the mouth.
• Jesus said,'After my departure there will arise the ignorant and the crafty, and many things will they ascribe unto Me that I never spake.'

Rating: 3