Constant Story "SQUEAKY ON THE MOON"; Constant Headline "^A silly squeaky adventure^ Program code by David Welbourn^ Written for Pi-Theta-Alpha-Parallax speed-if^"; Release "1"; Serial "010721"; ! SPEEDIF PI-THETA-ALEPH-PARALLAX ! You have two hours to write a game whose title features one or more of ! the words 'pi', 'theta', 'aleph' and 'parallax'. It must include clunky ! expository dialogue and make reference to Fraunhofer-Gesellschaft (the ! latter possibly in connection with mamster). The cast of heroes and ! villains should feature at least one of Alvin the Chipmunk, Jarb the ! Inventor, Asterix, and June, the stinky lady from down the hall. Locations ! may include the moon, a giant gas pipe or the interior of a computer, and ! the plot should invlove either cell division or a weather-related disaster. ! Bonus points for references to tetherball, froot loops, the Jewish Bankers' ! Conspiracy, hypercubes, eating paste and/or play-doh, china hutches or ! Snorks. Bonus prize for anyone who includes graphics or artistic ! justification for not doing so. Deadline is 21:15 mudtime. Go! Constant MAX_SCORE = 100; Constant DIALECT_US = 1; ! Constant SACK_OBJECT backpack; Include "Parser"; Object LibraryMessages ! see section 21 of the manual with before ! and english.h [; Miscellany: if (lm_n == 19) { print "As good-looking as ever, for a fifty-year old talking cartoon chipmunk, that is.^"; rtrue; } ]; Include "VerbLib"; !------------------------------------------------------------- Object ChipApt "Chipmunks' Apartment" with description "You're in your apartment. The front door lies west.", w_to SHallway, has light; Object chipdoor "door" ChipApt with name "your" "front" "door", before [; Open: "[Uh, just go west. I couldn't remember how to create doors. At least not in the time it takes to write a speed-IF.]"; ], has concealed scenery; Object Theo "Theodore" ChipApt with name "theo" "theodore" "chipmunk" "munk", description "Theodore is a tall skinny chipmunk that wears glasses. That makes him the ~smart~ one.", has male proper animate; Object Simon "Simon" ChipApt with name "simon" "chipmunk" "munk", description "Simon is a short fat chipmunk that wears a shirt that's far too big for him. That means he's the ~comic relief~.", has male proper animate; Object SHallway "South End of Hallway" with description "This is the south end of the hallway. The front door to your apartment is east.^^~Oh, Alvin, you must help me!~ cries June, the stinky lady who lives down the hall. ~I was playing tetherball will my dear little precious kitty Squeaky, in my apartment down the hall on the Moon, and he fell into my giant computer! Can you please get him out?~ She points unneccessarily to her stinky apartment door down the hall.", e_to ChipApt, n_to NHallway, d_to NHallway, has light; Object June "June" SHallway with name "june" "the" "stinky" "lady" "woman" "landlady", description "June is the stinky lady that lives down the hall. She's also your landlady, so you've gotta be nice to her, or else.", before [; Smell: "Eew! Eau de cat litter!"; ], has female proper animate; Object NHallway "North End of Hallway" with description "This is the north end of the hallway. Since June is the stinky lady that lives down the hall, and since this is down the hall, therefore June's apartment must be here. And so it is, Q.E.D. The front door to June's apartment is east. It appears to be open. ^^~It's open!~ stinky June calls out to you. Yes, she's quite the brain surgeon.", e_to JuneApt, s_to SHallway, has light; Object junedoor "door" NHallway with name "june^s" "door", before [; Open: "[Uh, just go east. I couldn't remember how to create doors. At least not in the time it takes to write a speed-IF.]"; ], has concealed scenery; Object JuneApt "June's Apartment" with name "cats" "cat" "food" "dish" "litter" "litterbox" "box" "panel", description "The apartment of stinky landlady June looks pretty much like you'd expect. Everything looks either old, handmade, gaudy, or a combination of all three. And it all stinks. Go figure. The only surprise here is that stinky June has a giant stinky computer in her stinky apartment, between the stinky cat food dish and the stinky cat litterbox.", w_to NHallway, in_to InsideComputer, has light; Object computer "computer" JuneApt with name "giant" "stinky" "computer" "machine" "fhg", description "June's stinky giant computer is made by the giant evil German corporation Fraunhofer-Gesellschaft. (Okay, so maybe it's not so surprising that stinky June has a computer, then.) The computer has an open panel on one side, large enough for a stinky cat or a has-been chipmunk cartoon character on the Moon to crawl into.", before [; Smell: "Stinky computer smell BAD!!"; ], has static; Object no_cat "cat" JuneApt with name "cat" "kitten" "kitty" "Squeaky", description "The darned cat is in the computer, remember?", has scenery concealed; Object cereal "bowl of Froot Loops" with name "bowl" "of" "froot" "loops" "cereal" "breakfast", description "Your boring breakfast today is a bowl of Froot Loops brand cereal. Admittedly, Froot Loops isn't boring per se, but you've eaten tonight else for breakfast for the last fifty years.", has edible; Object InsideComputer "Inside the Evil Giant Stinky Computer" with description [; deadflag = 2; "Inside the evil giant stinky computer by evil giant corporation Fraunhofer-Gesellschaft, you see stinky June's stinky cat Squeaky, about to be electrocuted by live wires!! In front of you are three switches: a pi switch, a theta switch, and an alpha switch. There's also a large hopper named ~Parallax~. What will you do? What will you, the cartoon chipmunk, do?^>^^ Well, since there's no time to even think of a decent puzzle, let alone a decent storyline in 2 hours, you dump the Froot Loops into the hopper (I'm gonna assume you didn't eat them or drop them somewhere), and push the switches in a comical way that does absolutely nothing.^^ Then, finally, all the extraneous references to the Moon gives you the idea to moon the stinky kitty and give it something even stinkier for it to smell! The little Squeaky jumps up (really high, since you're on the Moon!) and out of the computer, into an anxious stinky June's arms. You're a hero!"; ], has light; [ Initialise; location = ChipApt; move cereal to player; score = 0; print "^^^^^^^^^"; print "It's another boring day in your lunar apartment on the Moon, eating another boring breakfast with your boring brothers, Simon and Theodore. You and Theodore are eating Froot Loops. Simon is eating library paste, the goof. Isn't Simon silly?^^Suddenly, there's a knock on the apartment door! Oh no, you hope it isn't June, that stinky lady that lives down the hall!^^~Alvin! I know you're in there! Open up this door at once!~^^Yup, that's June, the stinky lady that lives down the hall from your lunar apartment on the Moon, all right.^^"; ]; Include "Grammar";