Forget dot-coms, forget stocks and shares - the real easy money is to be made in devising TV show formats. Which is why I'm being extremely generous in posting these TV show ideas, any one of which is potentially worth millions.
Ten young, attractive people - representing a microcosm of the sex industry (pimps, hookers, porn actors etc) - share a house and have sex constantly for ten weeks. Every week they nominate someone to be eliminated, and viewers vote based on the quality of their performance.
We set up cameras at the world's busiest highway intersections and bring you the best in grisly high-speed crashes as they happen.
Ten young, attractive people share a house, but one of them is a convicted serial killer. He (or she) kills one of the contestants every week, until found out and voted off.
Ten young, attractive people are left alone on an island with cameras everywhere. With no food, they must eat each other to survive. Every week, one is nominated to be eaten. Last remaining person wins the prize money.
Speaks for itself, really.
Nostalgia show where Peter Kay, Johnny Vegas and others reminisce about the pop culture highlights of 1917. Includes amusing remembrances about music-hall songs, silent movies and wartime rations.
Graham Norton presents a nostalgia show where Peter Kay, Johnny Vegas and others reminisce about the top 100 lightbulbs as voted by viewers.
Ten contestants, nine parachutes, one plane. Need we say more?
We get armed and dangerous with real-life immigration cops, as they forcibly evict illegal immigrants all over the US. Contains strong language.
Ten old, unattractive cities participate in a few random contests. The least popular as voted by viewers will be annihilated in a thermonuclear missile strike.
Real-life amateur footage of what happens when a thermonuclear device is detonated in a metropolitan area. Includes amazing fireballs, spontanous combustion and eye-melting scenes. To be screened after the above.
Viewers decide which of ten impoverished, unpopular countries will be attacked by patriot missiles.
Ten young, attractive monks - representing a microcosm of the world's religions - share a house for ten weeks and aggressively try to convert each other. Winning religion gets a prize.
Real-life amateur footage of underground pit bull terrier fights. Includes spectacular displays of gore and carnage.
Shocking real-life amateur footage of the devastation that results from broken sewage pipes. We follow a team of real-life sewage workers as they attempt to put right what went wrong.
Shocking real-life amateur footage of Peter Kay, Johnny Vegas and others reminiscing about 1988.
Real-life amateur footage of the most gruesome procedures carried out in hospital surgeries around the globe.
Nostalgia show where Peter Kay, Johnny Vegas and others reminisce about themselves, to the backing of 80s hits.
Peter Kay, Johnny Vegas and others share a house for ten weeks and reminisce about the 80s. Viewers vote for a different year to be eliminated every week.
Ten young, attractive TV shows compete against each other by being as crass, sensationalistic and low-brow as they possibly can. The least popular with viewers is eliminated every week.
Ten TV executives sit around trying to devise the most brainless, cheap, sensationalistic programme formats imaginable. Everyone wins.